156. The Tea with Bri and Sam D

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Tea with Bre I'm trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right these people won't let me go I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right these people won't let me go Let me grow, let me go, let me grow, let me go they should know, they should know they should know, they should. [00:00:34] Speaker B: Know I'm just trying to live my. [00:00:36] Speaker A: Life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right. [00:00:51] Speaker B: Welcome to the Tea with Bri. I'm your host, Bre. Thanks for listening. The Tea with Bri podcast is focused on deep, honest and vulnerable conversations. Each week I sit down with a different guest in order to have those conversations. Every week we'll start my guest's bio, an intro into how we know each other, and then we'll go into a deep dive conversation about whatever topic they brought to me that week. This week I am rejoined for another time by my guest, Sam Davis. Sam uses he they pronouns, is a black queer, trans masculine native of Washington D.C. who has lived up and down the east coast to Texas and Portland before making Delaware their home. With a professional background spanning classroom teaching, student support, equity and inclusion, leadership in education technology, Sam brings a system level lens to building affirming student centered school communities. They are a dedicated community activists, passionate about celebrating and supporting LGBTQIA youth and adults, and a strong advocate for access to gender affirming care for people who exist beyond the binary. Sam tries to inspire others to honor their differences, live authentically and pursue lives rooted in purpose and liberation. While they profoundly identify as a master of none, they hold a deep love for education technology and for finding joy and freedom from oppressive standards. Outside of work, Sam enjoys traveling, making candles, indulging in delightfully ridiculous reality television. Hello. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Hey, Bri. [00:02:16] Speaker B: It is so good to see you. It is great to have you back on the podcast. It is nice to know where you're finally living because I feel like you've just been bopping around for the last, like, couple of years. [00:02:27] Speaker A: I've been around, been around. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Just here's. And there's no one here. [00:02:33] Speaker A: You know, we do what we do, right? But yeah, and it's been so good for us to reconnect. It has been a while and I'm trying to think. [00:02:40] Speaker B: The last time I saw you I was like, I can't do that. It'll make me cry. I can't even tell you the last Time I saw it, I don't. [00:02:44] Speaker A: I know the last time I saw you and yet made me cry because it was at our best place where we get brussels sprouts and wings and watch games. Lester Pearl was the last time I heard it. So long ago has been probably what, maybe like three, four, five. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Three or four years. [00:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:11] Speaker B: East on the east side of Austin. [00:03:14] Speaker A: Because, you know, they get it right, an abundance of seats, and the dogs have a good time and the wings are always on point. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Their food is so good. So if you're not familiar with Austin, there's like, Austin's a very spread out city, so. And Lester Pro has three locations. They have a south and east, and the original on Rainey street east is where I like. That's my. That is my Cheers bar. You can't tell me about Lester Pearl East. They have so much seating. Like Sam said, the food is great. Plenty of parking. It's just. They have a little coffee shop there now too. Like, they did. They did like a Renault a couple of years ago. [00:03:53] Speaker A: They like Portland, Oregon. I met. [00:03:57] Speaker B: I know. [00:03:58] Speaker A: I met the owner in Portland, Oregon. And I was like, oh, it's like three stories, rooftop bar. They make pizza. They have bands like, yo. It is like the like, overkill of like, oh, you put your foot in this. So, yeah, the Portland one you have to go to. [00:04:19] Speaker B: I have a friend who lives in Portland, so he's like, come visit. I'm like, now I have a reason. Because he says all the time, he goes, the Portland one's so nice. Because he lived in Austin. He said, the Portland one's so good. Like, interesting. It really, if you. If you vouch to look and you. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Know how I feel about a good. A good bar. Okay. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Hello. [00:04:37] Speaker A: The food, the food. That's the thing. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Like, people sleep. A quick plug luster. Pearl east has fried cheese curds. Delicious. We do no chipotle mayo ranch instead, because delicious. You can also get it with like, the loaded version, which has like the meat on top and the whole blade. Doesn't matter. Their burger there is one of the best burgers in Austin. And people don't talk about it. It is fantastic. And I don't know what they're doing back there, but they have tots. Like, the loaded tots are fantastic. Their wings are good. Like, I have nothing but good things. Like, every time I. Every time I'm back, I go to Lester. Like, I'm like, we're going. Like, it's on the list of places I have to go. And it's Always funny, because now that I moved away and I come back and the people still work there, they go, oh, look who's back in town. Like, you think I was gonna pop in. [00:05:27] Speaker A: Well, so good. They're like, we'll cover this. Thank you. Cover the whole bill, baby. I'll give you $20 for tip, for everything. Free. 99. I love y'. [00:05:37] Speaker B: All. [00:05:37] Speaker A: Love you all day. [00:05:38] Speaker B: No one stands Lester Pro like I do. [00:05:40] Speaker A: You don't get it. It's a real vibe. [00:05:43] Speaker B: It's like if you know, you know, you know. And as a girl who doesn't have a dog, but again, my friends who do have dogs, this is like the perfect thing the dogs could be. [00:05:51] Speaker A: Chill. [00:05:52] Speaker B: You have friends. [00:05:53] Speaker A: You. You are the auntie of so many dogs. [00:05:58] Speaker B: That is true. I don't have my own dog, is what I should say. [00:06:01] Speaker A: You've got plenty you can borrow. Hey, Jackson already misses you. Don't make me get him, okay? I know that sweet dog. [00:06:10] Speaker B: He's misunderstood. Y' all don't understand my name. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Oh, God, he's so anxious. [00:06:15] Speaker B: Mistreated that dog. Anyway, so, yeah, I was also, like, we've been friends probably for like 10 years now. [00:06:24] Speaker A: I moved to Texas in 2016, so, yes, it is the same. [00:06:29] Speaker B: Yeah. And we met that first year. So this is our ten year anniversary. [00:06:32] Speaker A: Ten years. Ten years, friend. [00:06:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Cheers so much. Look, look, cheers. Because look, I remember you hosting Thanksgiving in that tiny apartment. [00:06:44] Speaker B: Tiny ass apartment. [00:06:45] Speaker A: It was like almost a hundred of us. And we made. [00:06:48] Speaker B: It was like 30. [00:06:50] Speaker A: No, it was more than 30 people, Bri. You need to be real. [00:06:52] Speaker B: 30. I am. It was maybe 40. [00:06:55] Speaker A: It was 50 people. Okay. We were in the living room. The. We were in. We were in your room. We were sitting in the hallway of your closet. Like it was. [00:07:05] Speaker B: You did. Like, I had that porch out front too. [00:07:09] Speaker A: People rotating in and out of your place. That was like one of the best Thanksgivings that I've been to. Like, so much fun. So much. [00:07:17] Speaker B: I. That's probably one of my favorite memories, actually. Cuz people still talk about it like. Like you. Like people like you hosted, like a real friends giving. And I was like, you all have to get along. Like, we're in close quarters. Like, you got to talk to strangers. [00:07:31] Speaker A: It was like, if you're vegan, you're good. If you're vegetarian, you're good. If you're pescatarian, you're good. If you love a good meat in a brisket, we've got everything for you. And all of us were like, Respectable enough to be like, okay, we're bringing soda, sparkling water, and we're bringing liquor, and we're bringing wine. Like, the. It was endless. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Literally, it was. And I cooked for 50 people all the time. I knew it. Like, that's my vibe. I can't host for 12. And yeah, like, as a person who worked in catering, who's, like, very big, I worked at a preschool, so, like, allergies are important to me when I host food diet, like, dietary restrictions, I'm like, what do you need? When don't like. And I do not. There's no cross contamination in this house. Like, I am a stickler. Everything is labeled, like, yes. [00:08:14] Speaker A: With what nut is in it. What nut is not in it. If it's gluten free. If there's gluten. When I tell you, like, oh, my God, yes. Yo. I remember that night. I was just like, everyone is here. Everyone who I need to know or I didn't know I needed to know. People I already know are all in this one place and it's no drama and we're having, like, the best time ever. It was amazing. [00:08:41] Speaker B: And I always laugh because, like, I tell people now, like, if and when I meet the person I'm gonna end up with, I've always been like, I don't need to have a wedding. And everyone's like, why? I'm like, well, as an event planner, it already drives me crazy. I have a very large family. I' so many friends. Like, the thought of, like, trying to plan a wedding. But you'll have to understand, I host all the time. Like, it could be a Tuesday night. I'm like, you want to have dinner and look like 20 people? Like, that's my vibe. So I was like, you guys, I really don't need it. [00:09:06] Speaker A: But no, we'll just have a get together at Lester Pearl and do all the things right there. [00:09:12] Speaker B: That's what we say. I'll elope and then we'll just. I'll rent out LPE and call it a day. It'll be. That's like, actually my dream. That's my dream. Like, I have, like, a destination wedding. I'm like, no, A destination reception is how I feel. Like, I'm just going to go party in Austin for like, two days. [00:09:25] Speaker A: The whole parking lot all the way down to the Mexican restaurant would be filled, and it would be the best time ever. Wouldn't even be mad at it. [00:09:33] Speaker B: Wouldn't be mad nothing. And it's so funny, like, when I. I was just actually looking at Pictures from that the other day. I don't know why it popped up. I was looking at pictures from there, and I was like, oh, no. Like. Like, you're saying everyone was there. And I'm like, because I started. That's when I was dating kb. That's when, you know, Shelby was, like, newly single. And, like, it was just like, my friend Johnny and Caitlin came, and they weren't engaged yet, but I wanted Johnny to meet Roger because they're both from New York. [00:09:59] Speaker A: Like, it was just like, it was everybody. It was like, if you were part of Austin Black Pride, you were there. If you're part of what it used to be called boss babes, you were there. Like, if you were in any room of working at Google, if you worked. [00:10:14] Speaker B: At out youth with me. [00:10:15] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:18] Speaker B: Like, from when I was on the board of nlc, some people from that were on it. Like, we're at dinner. So just, like, friends would. Yeah. I just. I also just want all my friends to know each other just because I'm like, it's just so much easier. [00:10:28] Speaker A: You are the connector for everybody. Like, let's just call it a spade. Like, literally, it's like, it's my gift. Yeah, I know. Do you know? Actually, I do know. And you're just like, oh, okay. [00:10:44] Speaker B: That the joke in Austin when I lived there, like, the three degrees of breathe. Like, if, like, it is. [00:10:50] Speaker A: It is. It is. It really is. And it's just like, you can't even be mad at it. You're just like, all right. I. I know brief from this. And they're like, oh, were you at this event? Actually, I was. Oh, I seen you. I met you. [00:11:04] Speaker B: Like, I knew you looked familiar. Yeah. [00:11:06] Speaker A: I remember one time I took you to drinks, and you knew, like, half the people in the bar. Drinks. And I was like, how do you even know people here? Nobody comes here with me. You're like, oh, I Brie from this and Breeze hosted this. And the bartender's like, oh, yeah, I know Brie too. I just want to eat chicken wings and get my East Sider. And it was like, oh, we all love brie. And I was like, you've never been here? You're like, nope. And I'm like, I think someone's like. [00:11:31] Speaker B: I. I love talking to a stranger. What do you want from me? Like, I like that whole, like, the saying of, like, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met. Yeah. I'm like, I just love people and stories and connecting and it's. I've been like, that My whole life. Like, when my. I think, you know my friend Kara, when we used to go grocery shopping, like, pre pandemic, we would just like, go grocery shopping together. And she's like, I feel like I'm with my mother, who's like, we're gonna run in for a couple of things. And then you see 20 people get a stop. I was like, I have to. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Be honest. I miss Heb so much. [00:12:02] Speaker B: Poor one out for the heb. [00:12:05] Speaker A: Okay, yo, yo. People don't understand. Like, okay, I have. What do I have here? I have the Audis of Trader Joe's. I Wegmans. There's nothing like H E B. And I. [00:12:18] Speaker B: Literally, no one's doing it. Like, the Heb. [00:12:22] Speaker A: I bought seasoning and tortillas. I packed so much in my suitcase. They opened it and the lady at the counter was like, I'm not even mad at you. She's like, I understand. And just zip my bag up. And I was over like ten pounds. And she was like, I understand. And I was like, ma', am, sir, ma', am, I need all of this in my bag. There's nothing like it. [00:12:45] Speaker B: No one's doing. No one's showing up. No one's doing the things. And I always laugh because, like, well, obviously being back home in Connecticut almost for two years now, I am getting the. Where they want to move now. Next itch. I just went to Chicago in October and loved Chicago. [00:13:03] Speaker A: But really, that's. That's the new move. [00:13:07] Speaker B: Say it again. [00:13:08] Speaker A: That's the new move. [00:13:09] Speaker B: We don't know it's either Chicago or New York. I haven't really decided yet. [00:13:13] Speaker A: We're going to say Chicago, cuz. Ma', am. Miss. Ma'. Am. [00:13:16] Speaker B: I loved it. I loved it. But it's 8° here right now. I can't live without windchill on that lake. When I went, it was in October, like beginning of October. [00:13:25] Speaker A: We drove to Montreal. Three weeks ago, the storm hit here. My battery is dead. My Honda literally said no. And the Subaru is the only vehicle getting around this realm. It's to the point where they declared it a state of emergency with the governor because we have kids still not able to go to school because there's so much snow on the road, on the sidewalks there. There's no sidewalk accessibility. There are people in my neighborhood who ride in wheelchairs who have not been able to streets. The school buses haven't been able to go through the neighborhood. The kids can't walk and I can't get my car out. And I'm just like, oh, Delaware, this is what we do. And they're like, we aspired to make sure that. [00:14:12] Speaker B: No, no, I mean, it snowed really bad here last. Not this week. The week before. [00:14:18] Speaker A: That was us. [00:14:20] Speaker B: There's still people whose car, like, I drive to work, and they're still, like, packed. I'm like, you don't need to go anywhere. Like, you're just. [00:14:26] Speaker A: That's my car. That's my car. It won't start it. There's no reason for me to do anything else because it won't start. You know, the snow's there, and I feel about my neighbor, his car. They literally took a bite out of his car from cleaning the street. The little Tonker part in front of the truck literally slid under the back of his car. And it looks like a shark took a bite out of his car. And he was like, oh, I'm not the first person I drove by. And I was like, oh, these salt trucks are really hitting any and everything. Hitting any and everything. No, no, no. [00:15:00] Speaker B: Nothing. [00:15:01] Speaker A: It's like. It is what it is. Wow. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Chaotic. Okay. [00:15:09] Speaker A: Yo, your hair is so long. Can I tell you, like, the last time I saw you, your hair was not. Yo, Miss, ma'. [00:15:16] Speaker B: Am. [00:15:17] Speaker A: Miss, ma'. [00:15:17] Speaker B: Am. Not an ad, but I've been taking hers vitamins for hair growth because I chopped my hair last. Last April, went through a breakup, cut my hair, and then went to a gay dinner. Okay. Like, fundraising dinner for the center in New York City. [00:15:30] Speaker A: Literally. [00:15:31] Speaker B: My friends, like, you want to come to dinner with me? I was like, yeah. Went to the Dominicans do my hair. And the girl's like, your hair's really gonna even, like, just cut it. She's like, what? I was like, it's just Erica. Like, she cut a very short, almost like pixie level chop. [00:15:44] Speaker A: Ponytail for years. You are. The curl is gone. The male pattern baldness from. I haven't done. I haven't. Listen, I haven't done a tee shot in a year. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Okay, let's discuss what. [00:15:59] Speaker A: Personally, just for me. Can't speak for anyone else. I am at a place to where I'm comfortable, I'm fulfilled, and I'm very open to having things for others who are not in my space to give to them. Because I've had my hysterectomy. I've had all the things that I need. I. I feel very secure them. My barber cut, like, three inches off my beard because he said I needed to look better. Basically said I was roguish, and he was right. But I am In a place to where I'm comfortable, where I am, and I don't aspire to be anyone else or anything else. So most of the things that I do have in stock, I send to people who don't have access and health care, because I'm. I'm good. And I'm. I'm actually happy in all of this. So for me, it's like, I could keep taking it, but for what? I mean, I don't have a uterus. It's not stopping or blocking anything. I haven't had a period in years. So why not give this to other people who need access to resources? So for me, I've been done, and I'm okay with it. I'm so. Okay. Okay. [00:17:22] Speaker B: I think that is a perfect segue into the topic we have today. Talking about, like, you being in education, specifically the work you do with your students of, like, affirming them and being a resource for them and what that has looked like, especially during the second iteration of the Trump administration. Because, I mean, if I see one more thing about trans athletes and drag queens and sanctity of marriage and all this stuff that I'm like, this is all hot air to distract from the actual shit that's happening. [00:17:55] Speaker A: Not even because 90% of them are in Grindr. Like, the fact that we've had conventions for Democrats and Republicans and the whole website, the whole app has gone down. Yeah, because, like, look, you may tell your constituents that you don't like people like me and you don't respect people like me, but you always want to be with me. So for me, it's just like, oh, baby, you're hiding. You don't have the strength. You have to discredit me because you can't be your true self. Like, it's not me feeling sorry for you, but I'm like, oh, you can't even be your true, sad existence. Yeah, you are literally living a lie. And you want me to be insecure because you wish you could be free like me, but you can't. And I'm free. And you want me to feel bad or disdain or disgusted because I holistically live in my truth. And you can only live in your truth between the hours of 2:00am and six, like, I'm clock. Okay. And I'm sorry that the life that you've chosen because it is a choice that you've chosen to hide who you are and who you show up as, and tricking people who think you love them when you really don't, to make sure that you can present yourself around a whole bunch of men who are just as queer as you and pagan as hell. And you want me to. To sit here and coward in to make you feel better? [00:19:36] Speaker B: No. And then hide behind religion and have religion be the reason why you can't do X, Y, and Z, pick and choose all the time. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Like, but then you're not fully, holistically religious, because we know Christmas is a pagan holiday, and those people were fucking each other in the ass. If you want to go, like, word for word, book for book, bible for Bible, y' all were literally celebrating in the most holistic, bestiality ways. But you quote what you want to make things feel better for you, and I get it. You know, people have escapism, and, you know, you. You don't want to honor who you really are until who you really are comes out. And that's been happening to a lot of y', all, unfortunately. But, you know, I'm not gonna sit here and be in a prejudice to feel insecure, to be minimalized, or be docile because you don't accept who you are in your mat. Because I accept who I am. Choose a side. Choose a side. Or don't. But either way, like, baby, we, we see. You, we, we see. Even when you think you're hiding, you're not. Baby, it's cute. It's cute. But it's not. It's not. [00:20:57] Speaker B: I just think, you know, I. I think of. I came out when I was 26, so we're coming out on, like, 10 years of being out and proud and queer and authentic as a person who grew up very, very religious, living right now. My family, my godfather, who's basically my godparents, are basically my parents. My godfather's a pastor. And, you know, we were taught to question everything. Like, if this is your belief, be able to, like, defend it, have questions, like, God is big enough for your questions. And so my little hippie ass heart took that and ran. And I have, like, done such deep dives into other types of religion. Judaism, Buddhism, gone to different types of churches. Not evangelical. What's the, like. What's the chill one? [00:21:46] Speaker A: Episcopal. [00:21:47] Speaker B: Episcopal, yes. [00:21:51] Speaker A: Of every human being, baby. [00:21:52] Speaker B: Yeah. And, like. And I mean. And it wasn't really until I moved to Austin, which is so funny, that I really started questioning my religion because of one coming out, and two, like, even when it came out, I was still going to a church and volunteering and being on the greeting committee, welcoming committee. And the church I was going to had, again, three branches because north, south, and a downtown location. And I went to the South Church and I found out that, like, the north pastor was preaching against queer people when the South Church had a lot of queer people. And seeing that, like, the other two branches didn't really denounce him. And I was like, so it's okay for us to come here and welcome your people in and give you our tithes and. Yeah, and give you all these free hours, but y' all don't want to say the thing. And, you know, talking to my godfather now, and he's always like, I want our church to be welcoming. And growing up like that too. Like, there was no, none of that, like, talking behind people's back like, well, Susan has three kids out of wedlock or she's a bad Christian, because I saw her out party. And like, that's between you and your. And your maker. And like, we are here to be in community together. And then what you do with your religion is your business, right? [00:23:00] Speaker A: And so nice community, cuz, Lord, this Baptist life, baby. [00:23:05] Speaker B: That's true. Missionary Baptist Church, like, that's. That's the. But we're not like fire and brimstone down South Baptist. We are Northeast liberal Baptist is what I like to call it. And, you know, my family is very accepting of my queerness. I was dating someone who. She was really religious, and she has some things to navigate because we were raised very differently religiously and. But, like, watching my family with her and seeing how, like, I think that helped her on her journey because I was the first woman she's ever dated and, like, the conversations we would have. And so we recently ended things because just, like, she's still struggling, and I'm like, we were both like, we love each other, but it's not working. And I was like, you got to just, like, figure it out. Like, I can't make this okay for you. I go, but I have done this. I've been in therapy. I was 16. Like, I have done the work to, like, figure out my own shit. And I've. I always tell people, like, if I. When I die and I get to the other side, which I believe in a lot of different things. I don't believe in, like, heaven and how the word's taught. I do believe in reincarnation. I'm like, again, a hippie. I'm a little bit psychic. I could read tarot. Like, this is also a whole thing. We can digress another time. But I was like, if I die and Jesus and God are up there and they look me in the Face like, hey, you were a good person. Like, you did good things, you helped people. You were a connector, you gave back, but really can't forgive, like, that whole queer thing. I'm like, well, if you say you knew me in my mother's room and you made me, like, my lawyer brain's like, I can. I'm, like, the most like. But also, like, if that. If I grew up believing this and this is the. The belief system I've had and then we don't align, I'm like, I can live with this life that I love led on this earth feeling like I did good things. And I know it's, like, not about, like, paying your way into heaven, right? But I just think. I think of religion as, like, the. The quote rules. We should have to be a good person. And so I look at people now who claim to be Christian. I'm like, I don't know what book you're reading, bruh, but that ain't it. And there's a woman I follow named. Named Monty who was raised in, like, very deep religion. She's doing deconstruction work right now for herself. I'll link her in the show notes. But she, like, knows the Bible, so to, like, look at her Instagram and follow her stuff and just, like, see how, like, she studied religion. Like, she has. [00:25:21] Speaker A: Like. [00:25:23] Speaker B: She knows. And so, like, to watch, like, her Q&As and all this stuff she talks about, like, because people like, well, what does it say about queerness and being gay? That's actually not what the text says. Everything's been translated. I'm like, we can't take it as black and white. Like, I look at the Bible of, like, oh, a piece of literature, piece of work where we are taught to do good things, where these different stories talk about, like, things people had to overcome. I'm like, I don't take it as, like, black and white. This is what it says. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Not the Holy Grail, like, but I. [00:25:55] Speaker B: Also think a religion. Religion can be so controlling. I'm like. And I look at, like, hippie Jesus, like, in my brain, like, Jesus is brown. [00:26:03] Speaker A: And I mean, careful hair wool. [00:26:09] Speaker B: Not this white was. And all I think about, like, y' all want, like, white, docile Jesus. Jesus was literally killed by religious people for speaking out and doing all that. Like, Jesus was an activist who was with the queers. And the people who were, like, cast out has two dads. Let's not forget whose mom had him out of wedlock. But that's neither here nor there. Like, y' all pick and choose so many things, like what the Bible actually says about abortion. Like, but to see how it's been used for control for so long, I'm like, you guys, I can't subscribe to that. Like, my job in life is to disappoint everybody else before I disappoint myself, as Glennon Doyle has taught me. And I'm like, I get one if I get one. Life reincarnation aside, if I get one. And I'm gonna risk or be controlled or be too afraid to like, pursue actual wholehearted love because of what books tell me, because of what other people tell me. I'm like, I don't want it. Like, if you're asking me in this moment to choose between like, me living happy and authentically or being controlled by strangers who told me that this book tells me a thing, I can't do that. [00:27:13] Speaker A: I think the biggest qualm for me is like, there are literally stories in the Old Testament of same sex love. And if you tell people, I'm not even going to deep it. Just Google King David, Google Jonathan and the Prince of the song of the first king of Israel named Saul, and you decipher what that looks like for you. I, we are all made in his image and he don't make no mistakes. And people have been around. You called him hermaphrodites back in the day. Queer people have been around like, none of this is new. People like to pick and choose what they want to read. But like I said, go to King David. Y' all can dispute me, go to King David. I told you, Jonathan, the prince. And you will understand that all of this has been true to this. Nothing is new to this. It's new to you because you pick and choose what you decipher, what is to be a good Christian and what is something that you should judge. But if you are living in Christ, like you have no notion to judge. Because everything, love, everything is love. And regardless of how you internally feel about someone in their actions, we are supposed to give and get love and hold people in the same eyes of Christ with no judgment. So like I said, queer people been around, baby, this, this trans life, all this, it ain't new. I got books for you to go back during slavery, post savory, before slavery. Y' all want to lie about Africa? Africa. Look, if you know anything about South Africa, the women in South Africa date each other. The women's are queens and kings. They have whole spaces where there are no men allowed and vice versa. So when you really want to pick and choose on like, oh, this is new. No baby, read up on your history, get a book, stop doing Google, actually go to a library while it's still free and read while it's illegal, read legal and learn that none of this is affecting anybody. Anyone living in their truth is not hurting you. If anything is making you question your own existence. Because so many people want to have this notion that, that I want to fit in and I want to do what everyone is doing. And you understand beliefs are the police of the mind. And when you're actualizing and challenging yourself to think beyond what you've been taught and what you think is real, there's so much on the other side. There's so much on the other side that can hold you so close and so tight. Instead of being so blindsided and small minded. Don't be dumb. Use your head. Don't be dumb. Seriously, use your head. Don't be dumb. [00:30:01] Speaker B: And I just think about two things. One, how people are like, well being queer is unnatural. I'm like, literally male lions, literally seahorses carry babies. Literally, there are queer animals and like. [00:30:13] Speaker A: That'S literally anomalies that can change their own sex for their own pleasure. [00:30:19] Speaker B: And then I, I then I think about too how everything is so whitewashed. I'm like, what about the Native American? And like South Asian believes like two spirit and like all these different gender identities. I'm like, this ain't new, but it's just been whitewashed and erased. [00:30:33] Speaker A: South Asia has six different genders, okay? Like six different genders. Your notion can be a little bit of feminine, hella masculine, hella masculine, a little bit of feminine. You can be a conjurer of all. Like, yo, like I swear that I, I love and hate being an American because we are so, so boastful of things. We think that it's the way to be. And there are so many people who haven't left America, who've never left the States, not even Canada. Like, baby, get out of your own way and realize that what you think is real is really not. And you've been conditioned. And when you really, really, really get outside of your comfort zone, you don't realize most of the things you've been taught here in America do not matter to the rest of the world. That's why the rest of the world thinks that we're dumb as like, keep it a blow. It, it's so like I was in Canada, they're like American. I was like, no, no, not at all. [00:31:36] Speaker B: No, no sir, not the accent. [00:31:38] Speaker A: No, not at all. I was in Montreal. You know, they're like, you're like, oh, you want to do everything to assimilate and be like, don't. Don't treat me like no American. Like, oh, you dumb American. No, far from dumb. I am from America. [00:31:52] Speaker B: From dumb. I'm like, can I seek asylum? Is it. Have we gotten to that level yet? [00:31:55] Speaker A: You know, they're paying Americans and queer Americans and people who are in the fields that are lackluster in Canada to move there. They're literally offering asylum, and they're literally offering jobs and spaces for us to get out of America, especially queer people, because they're like, well, life sucks for you. Come to Canada. Like, dude, you have nothing going on over there. Come here. [00:32:23] Speaker B: A dream. I love Canada. I do. It is cold, but I'd rather be cold in Canada. And the freaking stoned here, which I feel like is where we're heading to next. [00:32:34] Speaker A: I feel like you look. I. I feel like all of this is going to. So I don't know if you saw, like, there's a politician that was in Minnesota, but she went down, I think to Texas, and they told her she couldn't run. This woman looks Indian as hell, and she's literally trying to navigate and have a. A position against Muslim people. And the white Republicans basically told her, like, oh, you can't even be in our party because, girl, you a person of color. And she felt so appalled. And. And. And the fact that, like, low key, like, when I went back and I was working in Houston and I had students whose family were being picked up from ICE and kids from the. And like, hey, my parents are gone, my uncle's gone. And a lot of them who are white adjacent and thought that they would be free from all of this. And then the reality hit and they were like, oh, they treating us like black people, baby. They treating everybody like black people now. Everybody's like, this is what you're used to. Yeah. Catch the wave. Catch the wave. Yeah. We getting pulled over? Yep. People searching your car? Yep. You. You getting hemmed up outside. You don't like that, huh? You. You thought he was immune to that, huh? [00:33:41] Speaker B: The thing that's getting me the most about all of this, too, is that, like, now, like, we'll just carry on your papers and comply. I'm so sorry. Y' all didn't want to wear a mask of the grocery store six years ago. [00:33:53] Speaker A: Look, we got other viruses going on around, and nobody's talking to us about it. [00:33:57] Speaker B: We over here Meals and mumps are coming back because y' all don't want to get vaccinated. [00:34:02] Speaker A: Merchants in Canada talking about one in six kids will have measles. What you tell. And look, I. I love Canada because they're like, you can do what you want to do, but we're advising you that you should do different. The commercial is like, one in six kids are getting measles here in Canada. Make sure your child is vaccinated. Either way. Do what feels right for your family. I was like, this commercial is lit as hell. They said, look, this is what's going on. You can choose to do what you want to do. [00:34:30] Speaker B: Most. Like, we're listening to people who are not doctors. Yo, not a doctor, Trump, not a doctor. [00:34:38] Speaker A: This administration has taught me anything. But apply for any and every job. Do not think that you are not good enough. [00:34:44] Speaker B: Make it till you make it. Ho. There was no such thing. Imposter syndrome, over. We're done. [00:34:50] Speaker A: This hard. I'm like, yo, I could be a radiologist. You got. You got any school with. Nah, but I know how to use that. I'm good. [00:34:58] Speaker B: Like, yo, the thing that kills me the most, I'm like, you guys know he only ran for office against that. He wouldn't go to jail. [00:35:04] Speaker A: Look, and now all these files are coming out. Everyone's like, oh, I'm so upon. I'm like, y' all thought everyone was a conspiracy theorist. And we said, yo, this is what it is. The biggest thing. [00:35:12] Speaker B: They were friends. We knew they were friends. [00:35:14] Speaker A: Let me tell you this. So they. His whole life, we're doing tax returns right now, they have let go over, I would say, 5,000 people who used to work for the IRS. The people who they have working the IRS right now, they will tell you they don't know anything about this job. And they're saying that the people who hired them, they're going to be down to one person running that department. So the. The. The. The conspiracy theorists are saying, this is our last tax return in America. But mind you, every other country, they file the taxes for their citizens for free. They don't have to go through this rigor. Monroe. But they're literally saying that this is 2026 for taxes. 2020. This is our last American tax return because there are no people to do it. If you have let all the people who know how to file taxes go and you hire people that tell you, I don't know how to do this job, but I'll take it, what do you think is about to happen right now, and America missed the due date for people to be forced to pay for the student loans. So now people can write off their student loans. Do you not understand, like, what we. The precipice of what we are in right now, it is the epitome of around and find out and get what you need to get. Because this, this is it. Like, this is it. This is it. [00:36:44] Speaker B: It's so fun being American right now. [00:36:47] Speaker A: Yo, if anyone told me, like, hey, yo, being born in 85, you're gonna deal with the Cold War. You're gonna deal with 9 11, you're gonna like, yo, like, we have been calling. No, the fact that we have been conditioned for Columbine, that first shooting and Columbine, when I was in high school, I was like, oh, somebody coming to school, shooting up. Now I'm like, oh, well, for no more, no. And even 9 11, I was like, yo, we're in school real time on a big box, TVs watching people jump out of buildings. And you remember, in the hopes of. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Survival, to avoid a plane. [00:37:23] Speaker A: Well, remember, it took less than 10 minutes to get on the flight before 9 11. And now you gotta pay for TSA PreCheck. To actually be treated like a real American citizen is wow. And it's all capitalism. The fact that they're saying you have to pay $40 if you don't have a real ID to get on a flight, if nobody else, if that's the smallest amount of capitalism for you to realize that everything in America is priced. Your life is priced. And then when you go overseas and you're like, oh, I'm a person. Oh, wait, what are you telling me? Your rent's only 250? What? What are you telling me? That I can go to school for less than a thousand dollars for a whole semester? And then you come back over here, you're like, man, I. I gotta go. I gotta go in that visa process. You're like, we don't even want you Americans no more. How many countries have literally said, nah, we don't want y' all Americans no more. Y' all can deal with that. [00:38:24] Speaker B: I'm interested in seeing how the Olympics go, because they're supposed to host in four years. And I'm like, I hope everyone boycotts us. And no, because people aren't traveling here. I. I had a podcast episode with a woman who lives in the uk, and she was like, her friend lives everywhere. It's like, well, the baby's gonna be. We're gonna do her christening Sheik where she Was like, oh, Brazil. She was. I'll go. She's. I will not go to America for anything. She was not going. [00:38:47] Speaker A: Dude. The. The fact that this is the first year where I have not heard any hoopla about. And it's sad because I can remember no one cares about football. Nobody cares about the game happening this weekend. No one cares about the super bowl because America is so. And the. The reality is, why are you charging people $70,000 for two tickets for a game outside that literally you're not giving no food, no drinks, no comps, no nothing. You literally have people with so much money that they will spend a quarter of a million dollars, a half of a million dollars to go see a game that's already rigged. We already know who's winning. And y' all just feel like so dumbfounded when people like, I don't give a about this. Americans have stopped giving a about this because, look, why am I paying $20 for one steak? Why am I paying $8 for cheese? Like, why am I paying an exorbitant amount for non hormonal milk that's good for me. Why do I have to pay $8 for oat milk? Because I don't want the cow. I don't want the cow. I don't want oatmeal, $8. I want egg whites, $7. I want grass fed steak that I actually know is real steak. [00:40:13] Speaker B: The thing that gets me the most about the state we're in, two things. This White House renovation that we just had. I'm like that. You're renting that house. So I'm confused how you're just gonna do a whole demo. You don't own that building, baby. [00:40:28] Speaker A: Being from DC we were just home two weeks ago. DC Is no longer dc. I don't. The fact that Kenny's. The Kennedy center is shut down. [00:40:39] Speaker B: We see you through a renovation for $2 million, but we can't afford health care, universal health care, child education, nothing child care, nothing college. But we have money for a renovation for him to give a plane to. [00:40:52] Speaker A: Who? [00:40:52] Speaker B: The Christy Gnome? [00:40:55] Speaker A: Real. DC people know that the governor we have now 8ish. The only governor we will ever acknowledge is Marion Barry. Marion Barry was the only person who made jobs for low income people. He gave money to make sure senior citizens had quality health care and quality homes. And if you ask anyone in the city who's been working in the government for over 20 years, they will tell you they got a job in high school from Marionberry. There are no other people who have created systems to make sure that, hey, we see that we have lower income people who don't have opportunities, let's give them jobs, let's give them skills, let's make sure we make affordable housing. Let's make sure our senior citizens don't have to eat cat food because they can't afford the regular food from the grocery store. There's been no other mayor like him. I'm not going to say her name, but she pricing out DC to the highest bidder. And I'm sorry, I used to live in. I call it Trinidad. I'm not calling it Noma. By G debt. My rent for my apartment across from the church in the yard of the dead was only 1200. I had someone break in my house and the police didn't come. They broke in while I was at home. The police didn't come for five hours. That same apartment with no washer and dryer, that's a part of a duplex, is $2,500 in the sight out of your window is a graveyard. But now that it's caught, no, instead of Trinidad, it is one of the most highest places for people to live because you're close to 8th street and you're close to Union Station to get on the Amtrak and the train to go wherever you need to. This is the DCLF in 2016. That is, that is the continuum. People being bought out of their homes, people who own their homes, who can't pay for the taxes. Grandma, Auntie who's had a five bedroom, three story house, corner lot in D.C. uptown by Howard University, can't pay the taxes. So grandma's being pushed out and there are people coming in making that same house worth $2.5 million. For who? Because I know uptown and I know I'm not paying $2.5 million for uptown, baby. I mean, I love a good carry out, I love ever, I love good vegan soul food, I love all the things in the neighborhood. But it's not worth 2.5 million. I promise you. I promise you. [00:43:37] Speaker B: So I'm moving out of the country is what you're telling me. [00:43:40] Speaker A: I'm moving out of the country. Look, my uncle, my uncle has been in the Philippines now for almost two months. My aunt passed away last year. Mind you, my uncle, he was in the good old air force and he was stationed in the Philippines. Came back in 92. Month passed, he went over there, you know, cheap living, good guns, good food. Hasn't came back. Still has his house in Florida. Yo, when I was younger, my uncle used to tell me, oh, we send $10 back to the village every two weeks and that covers the phone bill, food, and my aunt's brother to go to college. It was only $4 a semester for him to go to school. 4 US to go to school back then. And even now he's out there. Rents like less than 200. Food is cheap as hell. Like, they love, they love us because people forget that the Philippines. Philippines, Loki. Ain't nothing but black people who, Whose boats got shifted because they're. They look like us, they talk like us, they love the culture, they love the other way. And the wind blew the other way and it was like, oh, here we are. Like, yo, like Filipino people, us. Like, let's keep it a book. I don't know what people believe it is, but it's us. So he's out there living his best Life. Less than $400 a month. And he's like, you know, I'll come back when I come back. And I'm like, that's the life I want, yo. That, like, I went to Nice this past summer, yo, I did not want to come back to America. There were families and people outside till 4 o' clock in the morning watching performances, good coffee, cheap food. The beach, yeah, they have a rope. Like when I tell you it's not a regular beach because it's big rocks at the bottom, ocean. And you trying to pull yourself out of the ocean is different than any other beach in America. But when I tell you the water is pristinely blue, the seafood is amazing. The cost of living is nothing. We, we went to my. We went to Monte Carlo on a train. Two dollars, two dollar train to Monte Carlo for ten minutes. And we were right in Monte Carlo. Saw the racetrack, F1, Formula One, all the things on the water. There's a pool right by the boats. Like any and everything you could see right there. Metro cheap. Took it right back to Nice. Everything was amazing. So affordable. We had the best African food there. We had a language barrier, but we made it work. When I tell you we have the best lamb and the best fish, I think we spent less than $30 for like four plates of food. It's the best time ever. So when I tell y', all, get. [00:46:30] Speaker B: Out of America, get your passport, get. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Your, get your passport before they say you can't have one. And to my trans people, don't worry about that gender marker. When I had my other passport, we would go in and out of Puerto Rico and they would open, oh, female. And I'm like, baby, you know what it is? Hahaha. Stamp, no questions. Everybody, they don't. They ain't clocking your tea. They say, hey, is this you? However you look, is this you, baby? Go out here, get that passport, live your best life before you stuck here like low key. Experience the world, man. Seriously. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Stuck here before. They don't allow us to read anymore. [00:47:09] Speaker A: Because do you know how many countries are not letting us come? [00:47:13] Speaker B: No, I won't. I can't, Sam. It's like truly upsetting. I'm like, I'm not. I didn't vote for this. I didn't vote for this. [00:47:21] Speaker A: I love that people are literally saying around to find out. I love that other countries like, nah. Like, it is literally the give me a test. [00:47:31] Speaker B: I promise I'm not like them. I'm the good American. [00:47:35] Speaker A: Maybe like, no, you go up there, they're like, I'm sorry. They see your password. I'm so sorry for you. They already know. [00:47:45] Speaker B: Come back. [00:47:46] Speaker A: Hey, hey. They already know. They're already like, I'm so sorry. Sweet. They just like, oh, Americano. No, no, I want my gelato. Don't. Don't worry about me being Americano. Let me, let me get this gelato and chill. But it, it's like, yo, one of. [00:48:03] Speaker B: My co workers have been laughing at me because I'm on my like 500 and something day streak for duolingo, so I speak Spanish a lot. I work now and there's a girl who's fluent and like, why are you practicing? I may need to move. Like, I gotta be. I gotta have a backup plan. So. [00:48:17] Speaker A: Hey, Mexico City. Mexico City, y'. All don't sleep on it for the black people. Weird people. Mexico City. Go. Dominica, yo. Go and get where? Go. Get where you need to go. And you can literally live there for six months without having to get the visa and come back to America and then go back and you can have two bank accounts. Baby, do what you need to do. Do what you need to do. Stop sitting here. Yes, because you, you, you need that money to come in US Dollars in your Mexican bank account. And you need that money to come over here to America Bank. Man, stop thinking y' all can't do it, because you can't. You can't. [00:48:55] Speaker B: You got options. [00:48:56] Speaker A: They make you think you don't have options. But once you go and you figure out there's so many of us over there, they want to tell you, when lived in Portland. There's so many people from Portland who are Mexican and black who live in Mexico City. It's out. But I love it. Like, do what you need to do. [00:49:15] Speaker B: I just want people to remember we have options, y'. All. If you take nothing away from this episode. Get your passport. [00:49:22] Speaker A: Yeah, get the passport. If. If you still want to be connected to the US for some reason, go to Canada, go to Mexico. But I'm telling you, hey, Puerto Rico. [00:49:31] Speaker B: Is a vibe and is a US Territory. Which people, as they yell about Bad Bunny being Sunday's performer. I'm like, that man is a U.S. citizen. [00:49:42] Speaker A: But this tells you that the bar is in hell. And it lets you know that you read. Public school education is in the toilet. And charter schools. I'm not working there anymore, so I can't get in trouble. Horrible. [00:49:57] Speaker B: I work at 1. I work at 1. [00:49:59] Speaker A: Their school's different. Listen, listen, listen. When they tell you. [00:50:03] Speaker B: Also, if we're going to talk about charter schools, we got to talk about, like, the funding, because we don't get the same funding as public schools, even though we're a public charter. We get like $6,000 less per student per year. [00:50:14] Speaker A: Not here, because listen, certain states and counties have sold the public schools to charter schools, and they still get public school funding because it's taking over the demographic of the schools they could not control when they were public. And listen to this. They only want kids to learn to the test. Don't you dare make kids be inquisitive, want to learn for fun, or find any reason to ask you questions of why. Because they will tell you to stick to the script and don't give them any more or any less that is in the book or slide deck that you were prescribed. [00:51:05] Speaker B: That's not happening right here. We teach our kids to take ownership of that. They take ownership of your education. Yeah. We are an environmental high school education. Like high school. It's like our kids are outside most of the time. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Like, doing it because you have people who care. Now let's talk about Philadelphia. You can just look at the graduation rate. I ain't gotta say much. You can just look at the school to prison pipeline. I ain't gotta say. But let me just tell you, it's not a coincidence. Nothing. It is out of the spectrum of. This was designated, this was curated. This was already planned before the kids walked into the. The walls, before those kids were born. [00:51:50] Speaker B: This was. [00:51:50] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Yo, I have never been in a place that tells me you're. You're letting the kids ask too many questions. You're. You're giving too Much. [00:52:04] Speaker B: Literally, education. [00:52:06] Speaker A: I'm giving too much because I don't want kids to not know what a volcano is. I don't want them to know what a tsunami is. I don't want them to know what a simile is. [00:52:17] Speaker B: Not my nephew. What. What did Martin Luther King do? Negro, what you grow? We're in a predominantly black city where he goes to school. They go to magnet school. I was like, what are y' all learning about? Because. [00:52:31] Speaker A: What do you mean? [00:52:32] Speaker B: What did Martin Luther king do? You're 10. [00:52:35] Speaker A: I had kids who couldn't spell Monday or know the difference of there, there, and there, but yet they can post pandemic. No, we gotta. [00:52:44] Speaker B: We gotta acknowledge. No. [00:52:46] Speaker A: Ain't no admitting. And every morning they want to come my classroom and fight. And I got kids telling other fourth graders that your pussy stink. You can't even spell it. But you're talking to other kids in my classroom about their body and tell, your mama's a. Your mama's a hoe. Spell it. Can't spell it, but you want to fight in my classroom before breakfast. [00:53:09] Speaker B: We need to talk about how the kids can't read. [00:53:11] Speaker A: Yo. Illiteracy rate is so high. Listen, it's. It's. It's literally. It's what they want. Think about. Think about in the 1920s. Think about the Great Depression. Think about the people who were in the war and think about how women were working and children were working because education was not at the precipice. We are literally in the moment of where they want minions to work for factories for low monetary value. To. Yo, yo, the fact that ice. [00:53:47] Speaker B: If you. You saying that. I think of ice and people who sign for the military. [00:53:52] Speaker A: I think of Florida. I think of Florida. [00:53:54] Speaker B: When he. [00:53:55] Speaker A: He said, yo, the kids can work if. If they can walk and go to school, they. They can work for their. Their free lunch. [00:54:03] Speaker B: Well, also, 45. Trump just said that he. He loves dumb people. And I'm like, this is why they don't want you educated. They're all educated. Every person who says, don't go to college, don't get education is. Has gone to college and got an education. [00:54:16] Speaker A: Yo. It is. [00:54:18] Speaker B: You have critical thinking skills. [00:54:19] Speaker A: Don't have them. You. You can't. You literally have to act dumb around certain groups of people, because when you actually show that you have common sense. [00:54:29] Speaker B: Yeah, you're a problem. [00:54:31] Speaker A: They gonna kill you. [00:54:33] Speaker B: Y. [00:54:33] Speaker A: It's beyond the problem. Like, yo, like, the fact that you can comprehend, like, this doesn't make logical sense. [00:54:41] Speaker B: How you can think for Yourself, a woman can think for herself. That's. That's the. I'll never understand is watching women who cape for this. [00:54:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:54:51] Speaker B: This is not for you specifically white women. You're being used as a fucking pawn. [00:54:57] Speaker A: You can think for yourself. You don't believe in abortion, but you've gotten paid to have an abortion for white men who vote against your safety. Help me understand, like, they don't want. [00:55:07] Speaker B: Us to own big accounts anymore. They don't want us to vote anymore. [00:55:10] Speaker A: Like, the seventies. The biggest thing for me is, like, how can you say that you support a political party that literally tells you that abortion is wrong, but under the Trumps, they pay for the most abortions. They tell you that homosexuality is wrong, but they are the biggest people on Grindr and all these other applications trying to each other when at any conventions, like, you tell me all these things, I'm like, miss, Ma'. [00:55:37] Speaker B: Am. [00:55:38] Speaker A: Amanda, come here. Come here. Amanda, come here. Your husband likes boys. Your husband likes men. Your husband doesn't like you. You are just something that's safe. Please step off that pedestal that you think is your soapbox, because it's not. It's really not. And I really need you to understand that. Hey, have you tapped into what you want? What? What? [00:56:03] Speaker B: Say it again. [00:56:04] Speaker A: What do you want? [00:56:06] Speaker B: Like, Noah in the Notebook asked, what do you want? Yeah, that no one has told you is what you should have. And I think that's a question everyone has to ask themselves. What do you want? [00:56:16] Speaker A: And it'd be so suburban to be like, I love my man. He takes care of me in the film. [00:56:23] Speaker B: You're something who doesn't like you. [00:56:25] Speaker A: Your man. Little boys, your man. [00:56:30] Speaker B: I was just watching a clip of Melinda Gates on a podcast. I'll have to find it and put in the show notes. But the podcaster asked her, like, how are you feeling now that your ex husband is coming out? And, like, asked her some really hard questions like, melinda's name ain't in that. Like, why is it always women who have to pay for what men do? Like, Melinda Gates was not there. She was not culpable like that. She is. She's been divorced from that man for years. [00:56:54] Speaker A: Hey, Jeff Bezos ex is the real one. She said, I'm this money into black education in black schools. [00:57:00] Speaker B: You know why? You know who her mentor was, right? [00:57:03] Speaker A: Who was the mentor? [00:57:04] Speaker B: Tony Morrison. [00:57:05] Speaker A: Oh, she look. She said heavy. [00:57:08] Speaker B: She said, tony was my girl. [00:57:10] Speaker A: She said, heavy on the swivel. I'm not gonna have no guilt in my heart. Y' all want $2 million. I'll make it four. Yo, yo, I love yo. [00:57:19] Speaker B: Kenzie Scott writing checks. Okay? [00:57:21] Speaker A: Every time she writes a check, I'm like, she's stepping on balls. She's stepping on. [00:57:25] Speaker B: Say something else, Jeff. Say what you. Jeff. [00:57:28] Speaker A: I'll give him 10. Yo. I be like, the. And it's like, wow, why are so many people afraid? I'm just like, yeah, they might kill you. They might hunt you down. They might try to like, take over your. Like, yo, I'm so old school. Like, I'm trying to get a BlackBerry. I have an old 2010 car because I don't want my car to be controlled by computers. I'm really about to get an old school BlackBerry or this new phone that looks like a BlackBerry to be off the grid. Like, when I tell you there's so. [00:58:00] Speaker B: Much people don't realize that I'm like, no, they track your car. [00:58:03] Speaker A: They're. They're tracking this conversation. They can turn your car off. Do you know how many people have been killed in Teslas involuntarily because they knew too much? You better get you an old ass car 2010 or below. To where when everything goes off the grid, you can still go steal some gas and get to where you need to go. Like, stop. You're like, oh, I got this new 2026. And if you say something they don't like, they turn that off. Where you gonna go? Same thing with your phone. Get you an old flip look. Think like the drug dealers. Get a flip phone. Ho. Get a SIM card in and out. [00:58:37] Speaker B: Let me get a Sidekick. Take me back. I want a Sidekick so. Or a razor so badly. If I could give me a landline. Give me dial up Internet. [00:58:48] Speaker A: I want that old school where we wrote in a journal. I want us to be in a room where there's no TVs, no phones. I don't want anyone accepting any conversation. I want to go to a diner in a weird ass town that doesn't have Internet and have a conversation without no one having a trace of what the. I said I want a chat book. I want to fold papers up again and put it in squares and put it in my caboodle, Okay? I want that level of privacy. Okay? [00:59:18] Speaker B: Not caboodle, y'. [00:59:20] Speaker A: All. Y' all had caboodles. You know about folding the letters up? [00:59:24] Speaker B: Sure. [00:59:25] Speaker A: I want to have a conversation and chat book with no technology. [00:59:29] Speaker B: But that's my thing too. Like, I, I think about. It's probably our generation because we were the ones right before The Internet buzz. Yes. But, like, now I watch. I'm like, do y' all even talk to each other? Like, working out of high school. [00:59:41] Speaker A: I'm like, so weird. They'll text and sit next antisocial. I'm like, hello, the headphones you have. Like, I love those headphones more than any AirPod or Google. I was like, that's when was secure. [00:59:55] Speaker B: When iPhones still gave us the charger and the headphones back when they left us. [00:59:59] Speaker A: Charger, headphones, and power cord. Okay. That iPhone 5, that champagne rose with the square back, baby. [01:00:08] Speaker B: Oh, sorry. And the chart, like, in the block. They gave us the block, too. [01:00:12] Speaker A: Look, when the sidekick gave you everything and you could download your own ringtones and don't get me on next tail. We could, boo boo. You could trip somebody. [01:00:22] Speaker B: Except the guys at my. One of the guys at my office, one of the maintenance facility guys. They're the both. They're both from Jamaica. And so one of them has a Nextel and it goes off all day, and I'm like, oh, the nostalgia. [01:00:34] Speaker A: I love it. Like, let me get a next tail with headphones. Because I hated y' all who had next tails and didn't have headphones. Y' all would do some ignorant. And I love y', all, but that ignorant out. Yo, I don't need to. Hey, ma', am, we are at the clinic. You don't need to be chirping your results, man. No one needs to hear this, okay? I'm serious. Look, look. Do you know when I was working at school and how many kids were afraid to go get tested and didn't even have a my chart? And I would be like, yo, like, your safety is like, your wellness. And they're like, nah, I'd rather not. You'd rather not? No. Do you know the statistics? And then now we see the revolution of, like, you get two shots a year prevent you 98 of being HIV. And I'm just like, do you know how many heterosexual people don't know about PEP? They don't know that in 72 hours you can take a pill to alleviate syphilis, chlamydia. [01:01:38] Speaker B: Knock it all out, yo. [01:01:39] Speaker A: I've had conversations with colleagues who are younger than me, and they're like, what's that? And I'm like, oh, Lord, your world is up. And I'm just like, yo, like, you could take this pill and alleviate having all the symptoms. And I'm like, you could also be on prep. And I've talked to so many black and Latino women, Like, I Thought prep was only for men. No, baby, baby, that one pill a day can save you a conversation that you don't want to have. [01:02:08] Speaker B: I just, I. Whenever I go get tested, I get tested at Planned Parenthood and. Which every time. Let me write this up in this. At this podcast, we believe in safe, consensual sex between two consenting adults. Or as many as you would like. That's your business. [01:02:25] Speaker A: Hey, hey. [01:02:26] Speaker B: We don't. We don't slut shame. We don't kink shame on this podcast. [01:02:30] Speaker A: Be safe. Thank you. [01:02:31] Speaker B: Be safe. And I was reading something while sitting in the waiting room, and they were like, do you know most men don't get tested? They only learned about their status because their female partner does get tested. And I'm like, you're telling me all these. These people are out here just slanging slong and not getting tested? [01:02:51] Speaker A: Yes. Do you know, when we were back in Austin, when I was volunteering at the clinic, we would literally have to. It wasn't begging. It was a conundrum. You could get admitted into the club for free with the free drink if you got tested. I had more people getting tested than we had at the regular clinic because people were like, I don't incentivize them. I don't know what I don't know and I don't want to know. And I'm just like, yo, some of the shit you walking around carrying with could be cleared out with a shot of pill, whatever. And then some of the things that you are walking around with, you are willingly harming other people because you won't take care of yourself. HIV is not a death sentence. But if you are not doing the proper things to make you equals you, you are harming people in the community. And that's up. It's like, there are so many free clinics every city, every state, for now. Because he. You saw what happened in Atlanta, in Georgia, they literally roll back the money for people who were on prep. So if you didn't have insurance, you were on prep. They are literally, thank goodness to Evita and all these other clinics and providers trying to find ways to provide people with the same sustainable medication because their insurance from the state has been taken away for any AIDS or HIV plus things. And it's not just there. There's so many states that have had money pulled from them. They're trying to find other ways to provide people with care. [01:04:28] Speaker B: And this is why I tell people all the time, like, it's not just about abortions, Planned Parenthood. They do like, what 2 to 10% of abortions is like their thing gender affirming. But I'm saying like people are so butthurt about that. I'm like Planned Parenthood is most low income folks doctors. Why are they breast cancer stain? Breast cancer screenings, your annual if your like cervix and all that for your annual exam like pregnancy. [01:04:55] Speaker A: Like all these things learned about abortion. Because white women are the highest rated number of people getting abortion. And they want to make think that it is black and brown people, but it is white women. And if you think about the Time article that came out this week, white women are the least amount of people giving birth. And if you are a white man with money or power and you're realizing that black, brown, queer, Latino people are the highest amount of people giving birth in America, you are fearful because you feel like your existence as a white person is being diminished. And it is. And I'm not mad about it. But at the same time, for them to transmute that notion of hey, white women are having abortions at very high levels. And for me it was like a white woman are realizing that you ain't and they don't want to deal with being a baby mama or a side with y' all say doing the same thing that you put in black communities for black women and brown women to get rid of them. And now you feel mad because institutions actually open up in our neighborhoods and that were convenient for you when it was. Was convenient is now a problem because you didn't care when black women and brown women were having abortions. You didn't care in hospitals where they were sterilizing black and brown women without their consent. But the moment that white women are saying this white ain't and I don't want to have a kid with him. Oh, everything is is a dumpster fire. We've got to control it all. No, Sarah knows you ain't. And Sarah said she don't want 18 years of the and why you mad at Sarah for doing what she need to do for herself? Because Sarah know, hey, you got a wife. Sarah know you gay and you don't want to tell nobody. Sarah know that she can do better than you. And she said pause. I'm good. And you mad like, like say also. [01:07:04] Speaker B: Because like think of the control of like when you get a used to be when you got a woman pregnant, you had her locked in like she where is she going? Like, I don't got to be. I'm not having a baby. I don't got to stay with you. We're not married. Like, yeah. So it's. It's. It all is a cycle. It all works together. I'm just like. [01:07:19] Speaker A: Everybody refers to our grandparents and men love to say, well, my grandfather was married to my grandma for 40. Grandma couldn't have a checking account. [01:07:29] Speaker B: Grandma walked in, she served a bed, okay? [01:07:33] Speaker A: She couldn't get a job. She couldn't buy a house. Your grandma might have been the candy lady or the liquor lady. Your grandma had a side hustle, but still had to deal with your ass granddad. Because she couldn't get access to the things she wanted. Your grandma slept in a whole different bedroom than your granddaddy. And you thought that was normalized? No, she said, him, I got my own room. He got his own room. The grandkids come over and we gonna make it work. Like, no one wants to have those conversations of Galilee. They want to go, oh, back in the day. No, Your grandmother was forced to be in a up in predicament because she could not have access to. So stop thinking that. Becca, Brandy, and anybody's gonna sit here and deal with your. When you have nothing to offer, the dick ain't great. And it's really not for free when it comes with all the extras of STIs and all the anomalies of you not being able to see you sleeping. [01:08:35] Speaker B: Around, you hitting her, you listen, you. [01:08:39] Speaker A: Can be poly, but if you're gonna be probably be honest. And if you not gonna be honest, move around, move around, move around. Let her find somebody who could treat her well, okay? And that's even for today, if you can't be real for what it is, move around, let her be happy. Stop trying to block the blessings and go ahead, spin the block. Spend the block on yourself and focus on you and figure out what you need to do to make yourself better. [01:09:05] Speaker B: I just read something recently or watched a video that was like, the only person in your family you get to pick is your spouse. So choose wisely, because why am I picking my biggest op? You're with this person who doesn't want you to do well, who hates you, who doesn't support you, who is jealous of you, who diminishes everything, who talks down to you. I would be out of my mind. [01:09:25] Speaker A: And bacon coochie ain't really for free because you suffering, you are willing. [01:09:30] Speaker B: I see so many people who are still so afraid of ending up alone. I'm like, you guys, I'm about to be 36. If you think I'm about to settle now, you Got me up. [01:09:39] Speaker A: Mitch. Love being by your support. Take yourself out to dinner. Take. [01:09:43] Speaker B: Well, people don't like themselves, Sam. You're. You're really. [01:09:46] Speaker A: And they don't. And they don't do the work themselves because they haven't been faced with having to deal with themselves in a very direct notion. Let's be real. None of us, let's be real. A lot of us have never been forced or chose to acknowledge and deal with all the things that come with us. You might be the, you might be the problem. You might be the passive aggressive, you might be narcissistic. The moment you can own who you truly are is going to be the only time that you can actually interact with other beings outside of your circumference. Because if you don't understand who you are, how the are you going to love somebody? How the are you going to show up for anybody else? Because you were only focused on you. And as much as you want to say I love her, but I see her, but. And I've been that person. I have literally been that person who's like, I really want to be in this relationship. I really want to do this. And I never around and figured out who the I was or healed myself from my own trauma. And imagine you and all your trying to intertwine with somebody else who's loving, caring, supportive, actually wanting to build with you. And you're the person. And you can't even admit that you're the person. So you're literally hurting and harming people. You're creating tropes, you're creating situations that people don't want to be in, but they're doing it because they love you and like you. And you don't even like yourself. When you realize that you don't even like yourself. Yo, you will change how you show up in every single space, every notion, because in the back of your head you'll say it's everybody else. But when you it's you, maybe it's you and it's okay that it's you. The moment when you acknowledge that you're the problem and you actualize how to be a part of fixing the problem. Yo, people will with you more when you can honestly say, hey, I'm up. Hey, I got this going on. He's like, everything's fine, I'm great, it's wonderful. No, you hurting people, you traumatizing people. You're traumatizing yourself in the name of wanting to look good. What does looking good do when you are a up ass person and there's no disrespect because we have all been in those places. But the moment when you, and I mean you, you are own who you are. Look, biggest thing, own your. A lot of people would with you more when you own your. Instead of trying to hide behind a facade, people want you to be what you think people need you to be. [01:12:32] Speaker B: What's the biggest thing? [01:12:33] Speaker A: When you get on the flight, when you sit in the window seat, will you put your safety vest on first before you save everyone else. [01:12:44] Speaker B: First? [01:12:44] Speaker A: If you can't do that, fall the back. And it's okay to fall back. [01:12:50] Speaker B: And I think about that too is like, I talk to a lot of friends right now who are in my age group and they're trying to date and like dating to find someone. I'm like, well, not for nothing, you guys, everyone in our age group is going through their first divorce right now except for me. So there's gonna be some new people hitting the block because a lot of us got married before 30 thinking we knew ourselves and our partner. And I like you guys. You don't. I'm. I don't think anyone should get married before 30. Like you don't know yourself. [01:13:14] Speaker A: I'm like, even at 30, I've been engaged multiple times that I've never been married. [01:13:20] Speaker B: And I'm what down that aisle? [01:13:22] Speaker A: I, I mean, I am. Look, look, I'm going to walk down the aisle with the person who really with me and who I really love. But I've been very honest with myself. Be like, oh, I may really like this person. I really rock with them. I ain't ready for it. And I'm not gonna lie just because it feels right, sounds right, looks right. It is better for you to exit and save that person the moment of heartbreak or expectations of you that you can't. [01:13:49] Speaker B: You guys, it's cheaper to break up. [01:13:51] Speaker A: Than it is to get divorced, yo. [01:13:53] Speaker B: Way less and way less paperwork, yo, yo. So I'm just saying, and I think about it too of like, and you know me, I'm a very self aware person. Been in therapy a long time, ask myself the questions, am I the problem? What am I doing? How can I change? Am I the common denominator? I look, I'm a Pisces. I look at things from 20 different angles, right? Like, I overanalyze. And so like when I do date people or think about dating people and I come to them like, you guys, I know who I am and what I have to offer. I have also given up people pleasing A long time ago. I also don't talk to my own father. So you think you're gonna hurt my feelings? You're not. My mom died when I was 16. Like, I have been through shit. So you not liking me. I promise you, I will be fucking fine. [01:14:34] Speaker A: You have a multitude of options, but what I will say is people who you've dated or been with tend to settle and then want to spin the block. And I'm like, how did you choose where you were? And how does the person that you chose and understand that they weren't really chosen, but they don't move different? That's like the disappointing part for me. And I'm just like, if you knew better, you do better. But you know better, but you choose to not do better. And you think she's going to respond in the way that you accept when you haven't. [01:15:07] Speaker B: And I also tell I'm not the person I was when you. You don't know me anymore. We haven't talked in years. You don't know me. [01:15:13] Speaker A: Yo, can we talk about that? The fact people have a narrative of notion of holding you to the same expectations of a person that you no longer see for yourself. But. But for some reason, I no longer am of putting you in that place. I went back home to D.C. and we went to a party, and it was a few people who were mean mugging and thought I would say something to me. You know me, I'm petty as hell. I see you, but I'm not going to talk to you. And I'm just like, yo, the. The narrative of people having the. The gumption and gauze to feel like you owe a conversation or owe some type of acknowledgment. And I'm like, I need you in a place where I no longer am. So a conversation for us is just off the table. And you see me if you see me and if you don't see me, or if you see me and I don't see you, we keeping it the same way it was when the last time I saw you. It's a buck. So for. For me, it's just like being from D.C. everyone knows it's literally like the black L word. Everybody knows it's one degree of separation, not even three. It's one degree of separation. [01:16:24] Speaker B: And. [01:16:25] Speaker A: And. And for me, it's like, yeah, everyone. All the fun. Sam promoted. Get everybody. I'm not that person. I come into the club, I get my champagne, I get my chicken wings and French fries. I sit at the table, I'm So black, not my chicken mama sauce and all. And I might hear like, and, and then I'm ready to go. Like, when I tell you, like, bounce. There are so many people who still have this perceived notion of the 25 year old me, and I'm 40 and, and it's a lack of respect, of care, concern, and I'm not with the drama. I don't have to talk because I don't want to talk to you. I talk to the people I want to talk to in this event because I. [01:17:16] Speaker B: The freedom in that. Yo, I told. I, I again, you know me. We talked about the at the beginning of the episode. I love people. I love my people. I love my people knowing each other. The text, like, I said people like, hey, I'm coming back to town. Like, that list went from like a Facebook event of like 50 to like, I text like 10 people like, hey, I'm back in town. We'd love to see you if you have the time. Like, I can't. Like, it is. And I have also noticed, like, it was always me putting in effort with people and I was like, you guys, I'm tired, man. Like, I am a good friend. I show up. I'm like, being my friend is a privilege and I'm gonna start treating him like that. And I have. And people like, yo, you've changed. Yes. Because you should when you get older. You should have the self respect. [01:18:01] Speaker A: Like, I don't like, no, I don't. [01:18:03] Speaker B: Care about your life. I don't really like your husband. He's been weird for forever, so I'm not hanging out with him. You've. You've been sus since you got with this man. [01:18:11] Speaker A: Hey, but he call it a book. Y' all don't know. Look, I left Portland and moved back to Houston for a job a few years ago. Literally, the week I moved back, there was a chaotic storm. Brie was the only person that I could reach out to, and Bray was like, stay in my place. I stayed at her place like two. When I tell you the storm in Houston, literally, I was in a private school. The gate would not open. The moment that gate opened, I had a whole bag in my trunk in a full tank of gas, and I drove to Austin. And she was the only person who was like, hey, come here. Figure it out. Do what you need. [01:18:48] Speaker B: I wasn't even home. I had yes. [01:18:53] Speaker A: And it's like, if you don't have people like that in your life, when really gets real, like, you need to reconsider. Like, yo, why am I doing the most for people who won't show up for me. And. And at this. [01:19:04] Speaker B: And you knew, even. Even if I had already moved, I would have found you someplace to go. I got five people. I'll call them right now. [01:19:11] Speaker A: Like, yo, I was set up. Good, healthy, fed, living my best. [01:19:18] Speaker B: Eat whatever you want, water the plants. [01:19:21] Speaker A: Yeah, mainly there was instructions. I had to order the plants. I was doing everything. [01:19:27] Speaker B: The plants are gonna die. [01:19:28] Speaker A: But it's like, if you don't have people in your life to where you can do these things with and have these conversations, you really need to reevaluate who you fuck with because your life gets real. And we're at this big age to where we're not doing surface level friendships. Yo, hello, Bri. [01:19:45] Speaker B: Hit me. [01:19:46] Speaker A: Whatever you need, I got it. [01:19:47] Speaker B: Same thing. One of my really good friends, Dante, we have, like, a weekly monthly check in of just, like, an update. And so we have like a. It's like a three hour we. I was like, I'm going to go grocery shopping. Like, I have a whole day to just talk to her. And so she just recently called me, like, a whole update on her, on, like, everything happening and, like, the conversations we were having about, like, our friendship. Because she's like, you. She goes, it could be anything. She says, you have never made me feel like any of the things I want to do is outlandish. She goes. She goes, I could tell you tomorrow I want to, like, do X, Y, and Z. And you're like, okay, let's strategy. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I. I don't have people in my life, and I don't want to be the people I don't want to be. Kind of person who in your life who's like, no, like, stay small. Like, do this little. Nah. If you can't ride with me, don't be my friend. I guess it's like, if, like, like you said, hit the fan, I know the people I can call. And it's funny. Like, my family. Like, you know someone in, like, every state, I go. Because you never know when shit's gonna pop off. And, like, I love my people. I'm like. And I stay in touch with my people. [01:20:45] Speaker A: You got to be open. [01:20:46] Speaker B: Because anything. Like, I think about when AJ was here, aj, who did embrace, he was in Connecticut for something, and he's like, hey, I know you're. I wasn't even back home. He's like, hey, I know you lived here. Like, I. Some, like, my housing fell through, and one of my Best friends had just bought a house. Like, well, let me call her. And so I called her. I was like, hey, this is one of my really good friends. This is what happened. She's like, absolutely. Like, she wasn't even thought. She was. He can come this day. I'll give him a cop, like, introduce them. And they like, he stayed there for, like, maybe, like, three, four. Three to four days, had a great little time. She's like, he was great. Like, but it's like, that sort of stuff of, like, as a, like, you know, community organizer, connector, like, that kind of person. Like, especially with everything happening right now in the country, I'm like, you have to know someone. You have to be a real friend. I'm like. And people don't talk about that. And I think specifically in Austin, where a lot of relationships seemed transactional with people and, like, I think about all the people who have, like, you know, revolved out of my life, and no shade, no harm, no fallout. There's just some people you just fall off with. [01:21:46] Speaker A: They were meant to be. [01:21:49] Speaker B: I think about the people who I have genuinely stopped talking to, and I'm like, that was necessary. [01:21:57] Speaker A: You have been a friend to people who didn't even deserve a handshake from you. And you give people a multitude of chances. And I never say anything because I. Hey, you like it. I love it. I won't yuck you. Yum. But there's remotes. I was like, that's not a good person for br. I'm not gonna say nothing because she like it. She'll figure it out. But I'll be over there. Like, you. Like, I want to introduce you, and I'm like, I'm good. [01:22:24] Speaker B: You. [01:22:24] Speaker A: Like, you're antisocial. No, I'm anti. But I'll be that. But it's like, for me, it's like, if it's not you, if it's not Natalie, if it. It's not like, oh, my. My favorite. You are my favorite. You know who my favorite is? Jeremy. Jeremy has been the best. I love Jeremy down. And I think about people like you and him who build community and allow people to connect and build friendships and foster connections outside of being with you. Like, y' all really, really give A lot of people who don't deserve chances, Chances. But I love that about you, because that optimism, just wanting people to crow it. It. It's very courageous. And you know me, I'm very optimistic. Like, I don't like that. I don't. With them. And you like, Sam, you know, the Energy feels off. I'm good. [01:23:20] Speaker B: Like, the third. I never realized, like, there's some friends who I. I'll meet their friends. I'm like, no. They're like, what? Like, no, I. I have. I have been the Sam. And like, nah, there's something there. And like, wait, Bri. I'm like, you. You be their friend. I'm just letting you know when pop off and you tell me about it in six years. And I'm like, it may not happen tomorrow, but it's gonna happen eventually. I told you, remember that I clocked it and you told me I was being a little. Okay. [01:23:47] Speaker A: Hey, I just feel like I'm gonna be cordial and not be. [01:23:54] Speaker B: I know. [01:23:55] Speaker A: You know, sometimes I'll be like. [01:23:58] Speaker B: Well, I think the biggest thing is that I. I just want to tell the people to take care of each other, build community, hunker down, have a backup plan. Stay educated. Stay. [01:24:11] Speaker A: Remove your ego. Remove your ego. [01:24:14] Speaker B: Know your rights. [01:24:15] Speaker A: Oh, yes, please. [01:24:16] Speaker B: You'll have to. You have. You have to come back. We don't have. [01:24:18] Speaker A: We. [01:24:18] Speaker B: It's an hour and a half. We got it. [01:24:20] Speaker A: Do you know how many people don't know the rights? [01:24:22] Speaker B: Oh, yes, Sam, I do. As a person who helps people register to vote. I really do. As a person who wants to go to law school, someone wants to pay for it. Yes, I do. [01:24:32] Speaker A: As an educator, like, I literally feel like I'm probably leaving education very soon because the bar is in hell. And I refuse to do the bare minimum to keep children, young adults, informed in how to exist in this world. Like, I literally tell people, like, you need to watch the movie Idiocracy. It is not a film. It's a documentary. And the moment you watch Idiocracy and you realize the lines that are actually coherent into where we are existing right now, you will realize that none of this is random. All of this was planned and predictive. Television is real. [01:25:21] Speaker B: Look at the Simpsons. [01:25:23] Speaker A: Look between the Simpsons. Scary. I love it. I love the Simpsons. I love it. Then you watch a little bit American dad, who tries to break it down in a docile way, but it gives you the reality. I love it. [01:25:38] Speaker B: And then you go to Steven Universe to escape and be with the game. [01:25:42] Speaker A: Oh, my. [01:25:42] Speaker B: I'm like, I need to do a Steven Universe re watch. [01:25:45] Speaker A: Yo. Steven Universe is all the queer kids. [01:25:48] Speaker B: That had me laughing, had me crying. That show broke me. [01:25:52] Speaker A: That show showed you how free you could be if you. [01:25:56] Speaker B: It also showed you family is chosen. I like Rebecca, baby. [01:26:02] Speaker A: My family. [01:26:05] Speaker B: Rebecca, girl, you did it re sugar. Shout out to you girly pop. [01:26:09] Speaker A: I think a lot of us are finally, like, coming to the precipice of realizing that things that we think are false are actually reflections. And we've been conditioned to think that it's just comedy or it's just satire or it's fictional, but it's really the reality that we don't know how to cope with. So they prescribe it to us in small doses. But this is where we are. We. We are the kids of the 80s. We. In the early 90s, we were in a precipice where technology matter. We. We had no Kias. We had Snake games on the phone. There was no laptop or any iPad that could deteriorate us from watching cartoons or all that, or who's afraid of the dark? We. We were forced to be in community. [01:26:58] Speaker B: We went outside, I think, and not to bring all the way back, because I know we're trying to rap. All I think about is, I think the reason why I'm such a community organizer is like, yes, my family and like, me being into politics since I was 10, but the neighborhood I grew up in, all the kids were my age. We were outside for hours every day of our lives. We're still close now. I'm 30, almost 36. I grew. I. I moved into that neighborhood when I was five. I'm still friends with all the kids. [01:27:26] Speaker A: We are all the Jonathan Taylor Thomases off the Home Depot. [01:27:30] Speaker B: I was Topanga. [01:27:31] Speaker A: We know the culture sack. You were Topanga. Look, we all knew that was actually moesh. Hey, Mo to the. [01:27:38] Speaker B: Mo to the. [01:27:39] Speaker A: We all knew the importance of community, friendship, collectiveness, and what it meant to not go by yourself and go together. This generation doesn't understand it. They're. They're very secular. They're very singular. They don't even know how to talk to each other outside of a text message. And it's very trouble behind the screen. Yo, how are you texting someone you're sitting right next to? We do that as adults when we talking. But how are you literally. Look, hello. I'll text you like, you see that over there? [01:28:11] Speaker B: Like, you, not me. [01:28:12] Speaker A: You ready to go? [01:28:13] Speaker B: Because we can leave whenever you already know. [01:28:16] Speaker A: I give you one side eye. I'm done. We. We out. [01:28:19] Speaker B: Shelby got me a keychain that says this because I would. I go to things where I'm like, I'm ready to go when you are. Like, we can't. [01:28:26] Speaker A: But we didn't even just say that. [01:28:27] Speaker B: Not big age. [01:28:28] Speaker A: I look at you. And she's like, you about to go. Thank you so much, people. [01:28:34] Speaker B: So good to see you. [01:28:35] Speaker A: They don't know. They. They can't read cues. They can't even read cards. They can't even read sentences. They can't read. Okay. It's just. Lord, the bar is in hell. And I'm really trying to tell parents, be like your parents, read your kid to sleep. Have them pronounced words. [01:28:53] Speaker B: Sam, we got. That's a whole different conversation. As two people who don't have children but are in children's lives, the way I have seen people raise their kids. And if I decide to have children, I'm like, nah, we ain't doing that. [01:29:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:29:05] Speaker B: I'm like, do you. Do you spend time with your children? [01:29:08] Speaker A: No, they're just. [01:29:09] Speaker B: No. And not behind a screen. I mean, reading, cooking, going for a walk, playing a sport. [01:29:14] Speaker A: Like, they are just a legacy to keep the family name on. [01:29:19] Speaker B: Come back anytime. We'll talk about anything ever again. Come back next week, like, anytime you want. At the end of every episode, you know, I ask a sort of palate cleanser question. And the question, as you know, is, what is the best advice you've ever been given? Or what's a piece of advice you'd give to your younger self? [01:29:35] Speaker A: Best advice I've ever been given was in undergrad. It's nothing personal. It's just business. Show up, do what you need to do. Stop putting your emotions into everything. Keep them from yourself. Keep them for yourself. Hold yourself tight. It's nothing personal. It's just business. Don't let your 9 to 5 be your whole life, baby. [01:30:02] Speaker B: That's it for this week's episode of the Tea with Bri. Be sure to follow the podcast on Instagram at the Tea with Bri. Send me an email at the tea with bri gmail.com or visit the website the Tea with Bri podcast.com youm can find me your host, Brianna Jenkins on Instagram at Brianna Jenkins. Don't forget to rate, review and follow on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. A special thanks to Mama Duke for our theme music and I will catch you next time. Bye.