154. The Tea with Bri and Vic J

[00:00:02] Speaker A: Tea with Br I'm trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right these people won't let me go I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right these people won't let me go Let me grow, let me go, let me grow, let me go they should know, they should know they should know, they should know I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right if you won't let me go. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Welcome to the Tea With Bri. I'm your host, Bri. Thanks for listening. The Tea with Bri podcast is focused on deep, honest and vulnerable conversation. Each week I sit down with a different guest in order to have those conversations. Every week I'd my guest's bio, an intro to how we know each other and then we'll go into a deep dive conversation about whatever topic they brought to me that week. This week I am joined by my guest, Vic James. Vic, he uses he him pronouns. Is an Emmy nominated sports journalist based in Austin, Texas who is currently working with Of Color, an arts alliance dedicated to helping creatives of color showcase their talents, grow professionally and find community. Victor is currently handling their social media. Victor is also my least favorite person according to him because he won't go on Love is blind. Hello. And you were absolutely correct. You know we have beef. [00:01:39] Speaker C: Hello everybody. Yeah, I was going to start with the top saying like yeah, we, we are on semi bad terms because we are beefing. We are straight up, you, you and all of my other friends that for some reason think that I should be on reality TV ever in my life. Because this is not. It's also, I don't think I gave you context to that. Also like this is not the first time that somebody or friends have suggested me to audition for a dating type of reality television show. Married Friends a couple years ago would they sent me like a couple like different casting calls for like married at first sight and like a couple things like that. And I was just. [00:02:25] Speaker B: You cannot do. I will not. [00:02:26] Speaker C: I was just like what? Like what is it about me specifically that leads people to think that reality television dating is with any sense in the realm of possibility. [00:02:41] Speaker B: If I may I please chime in. If I may, I think one, you are very charming and personable and funny and smart and like all the things, you're very cute. Everyone's like, oh my God, Victor, oh my God, I Get it? Yes, we're aware. Richter's attractive number. That's like number seven on the list. Aside from being a fantastic person, you're one of the. [00:03:06] Speaker C: We turn into you making. [00:03:10] Speaker B: I have the floor. Thank you. I think also, like, us being friends for so long, also the people are going to wonder. Victor and I met like 4ish. [00:03:20] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Roughly because Ned was still with Austin. [00:03:24] Speaker B: FC at the time, so we met through mutual friend four years ago, hit it off. Here we are, back to Victor being great. We have a great communication style, so I. I know how you can communicate when you feel, like, safe and seen and, like, held and respected. Also, just in general, you're really great communicator. I think also you would know like this, you would go for the right intentions of, like, truly going to find romance, not to, like, make it your whole, like, life and personality. I think it would just bring it back to the pureness and purpose of the show. Because dating in Austin, treacherous, as we both know. So I just think you'd be a great candidate. And obviously I'm not the only one who thinks so. So that's. That's my pitch as to why you should do it. And you're from la, so I feel like it's also very LA of anybody to be on tv. So. [00:04:10] Speaker C: So to be on television at one point in my life. But. But I, you know, I. I was and. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Or am. [00:04:16] Speaker C: So that's the. That's the LA part of my. And you also know us being as close as we are, that that even is still a step. So that's why I'm like, do y' all really know me for real? Like, to think that I would, like. [00:04:34] Speaker B: We'Re supposed to, as your friends, push you out of your comfort zone. [00:04:37] Speaker C: I was literally about to say as my friends. And the reason why I have the friends that I is because they constantly push me to my boundary while respecting it and then also pushing me past it if it is capable, if I have the capacity to do so. So I do appreciate it. I'd still hate you. I can do that and you still hate me, so it's fine and we could just move on. [00:05:02] Speaker B: No. Okay, but hear me out. But if you went. If you went and you truly met the love of your life, you'd be so grateful. You would forget that you hated us all. [00:05:13] Speaker C: I don't. You know me. I don't. I don't think that's true. [00:05:17] Speaker B: You would still hold a grudge. I would. [00:05:20] Speaker C: I would. I would be more understanding and even still, as. As we. As we're talking about it now, I've actually moved further off of that boundary since we last talked. So it's a possibility that I might actually go to that casting. I'm not gonna lie, because, like, a bunch of my friends have been like, just go for the experience. Like, you know, And I was just like, it could be just fun. It could just be fun. I'm not. I'm not doing anything for real right now, so why not listen, as a. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Person who auditioned for the Voice twice and made it to the second round once, it's just a great story to. I don't know about you because it's not a thing I share. It's just. It's just a fun little fact that sometimes I'll drop in. Exactly. So I think it'd be, like, a fun little fun fact to have. [00:06:03] Speaker C: And you got on me for not knowing my government last name, which I feel like I definitely told you about. [00:06:08] Speaker B: Nope. No lies. [00:06:13] Speaker C: If it was one time, I'd be like, all right. But you audition for the Voice, and I didn't know that. I feel like. I feel equally betrayed. [00:06:19] Speaker B: That's different than me not knowing your government name. We've been friends for four years. [00:06:23] Speaker C: I don't think so. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Okay. For the audience, Victor's last name is actually not James. It's just. This is his professional moniker, and we were, you know. No, I'm not. No. Nope, That's. That's it. They have to learn, like, I had to learn in the. In the. In the. The blindsidedest way I was. We were hanging out last time I was in Austin back in May, and Victor had a flask that said vgm. And I was like, vj, I'm sorry. I was like, who is this? Like, it's mine. I was like, what's the M? You're like, my last name. And I was like, no, that's not. So me learning that your last name is actually not James was quite. Quite shocking. [00:07:07] Speaker C: I'm still homies. Recently was, like, the same. It had the same experience. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Yeah. So don't sit here and say you tell everyone two of your friends don't know. [00:07:17] Speaker C: So to be fair, me and him have only been. We haven't been friends as long as me and him. As me and you are. But it was still funny. I'm like, you didn't know that? Because I feel like I do talk about it pretty often. I'm not, like, shy about it. It's just. I don't know. And I also felt like, you see, like you've actually seen my identification. I don't know why, like, so looking. [00:07:36] Speaker B: At your license, we hang out. I'm not here. [00:07:41] Speaker C: My face, like, I. I held it up and I was like, hey, Brie, this is me. This is who I. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Shut up. People are going to believe that actually happened. It did not. I'm still not. I'm still not. I don't even know who you are. A stranger. [00:07:52] Speaker C: I can carry a bit pretty well. So we're getting off the row. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Sorry. No, no, it's mine. It's my plays. It's my show. There's no real estate. No. I just need people to know that I was blindsided. [00:08:04] Speaker C: You were. You were aghast. Take me aback. [00:08:08] Speaker B: Three months, I'm like, who? [00:08:11] Speaker C: Yeah, it was a running joke for a while. She was constantly texting me with my initials. [00:08:16] Speaker B: Author. [00:08:17] Speaker C: Only stopped because I was like. My mom used to, like, write that on my lunch pail. [00:08:22] Speaker B: And then I felt guilty. I was like, fine, we won't. [00:08:26] Speaker C: It wasn't like that. It was more of a. Like. That's just kind of weird. Like, it's just like. Because I never. I never really thought about it since then. Like, I was like. She used to really, like. I used to write it on my basketballs, like when I would take it to the park and stuff. And. Yeah, that's just funny. [00:08:39] Speaker B: Back when you had a real last name and people knew you though. People. Because I am a stranger, apparently so. [00:08:46] Speaker C: My father hates it. Can't. Can't stand it. That I use. Yeah, that's his. It's his last name. [00:08:54] Speaker B: Oh, so you don't use his last name and he's upset. [00:08:56] Speaker C: No, but it's. It's. He's not serious. It's funny though, that Pops. [00:09:01] Speaker B: Not. Not the man, the myth. [00:09:03] Speaker C: Pops. Pops. [00:09:05] Speaker B: How could you? That's sweet. Sweet man. [00:09:07] Speaker C: That's my guy. [00:09:09] Speaker B: So much. How dare you? [00:09:10] Speaker C: He's got. He's. He's got it in him. Don't. Don't trip. He's all right. He's from South Central. He'll be okay. [00:09:16] Speaker B: Devastated. That sweet man I got. I'll call him. I'll tell him. It's not just him. [00:09:20] Speaker C: He's such a good hearted soul. At the end of the day, I will give him that. [00:09:23] Speaker B: He's my fave. Speaking of, I think of him when I think of him. I think of our topic today as his love for New York, the New York liberty. But only for that one season. [00:09:35] Speaker C: So the sun. It was the sun. He he loved. [00:09:40] Speaker B: He. [00:09:40] Speaker C: He loved the sun last season for everybody. My. My pops is a huge advocate for the wnba. Out of literally nowhere, I just, like, not the last person, because he just loves ball. He just, he's one of those guys, like, he's, he's the. The straightest black dude, like, above 60 that you can imagine. Like I said, from South Central California, like, born and raised. [00:10:08] Speaker B: And. [00:10:10] Speaker C: It'S just like, I've loved it because it just proves to me the. How if you really just love sports, it doesn't matter, like, what rapping it comes in. And for him to, like, love Dejana Bonner and love Alyssa Thomas and me and him. Like, the other day, like, I posted on my Instagram, like, on my Instagram story, like, I hit him up after the. We beat, you know, the storm at home because that was like, a big win for us to try to make the playoffs. The Sparks, I should say. And I say we because that's how sports fans communicate. [00:10:46] Speaker B: It's your team. It was a collective effort. [00:10:47] Speaker C: Yes, it was a collective effort. I was here jujuing. I had the incense and the palo santo going, you know what I'm saying? So it was one of those types of things. And I was literally just like, big win for the Sparks. And he goes off on this whole, like, rant that he'd been waiting to get off about the Sparks and the WNBA as a whole. And it was this whole, like, little cute moment between father and son and all that good stuff. But I just thought it was like, I think it's funny. Like, I just think it's. I think it's. It's heartwarming to see him, like, now start to coach, like, JV girls basketball. And, like, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, so during that time, like, he was. He's been inspired through, like, this recent boom over the last, like, three and a half, four years of women's basketball at the professional level to, like, he was like, I want to coach a WNBA player. Like, one day. I want to say, like, you know, I, you know, he's an assistant coach, but, like, he joined the team with the hopes of, like, you know, developing kids. And that's what he's, you know, that's what he's about as a, as a person. Like, he really is, like, he, he's retired, you know, and he just has decided to devote his time to coaching. So I love him for that. But I do love the fact that me and him can talk about the WNBA or women's Sports in general without it being, like, a big deal. For real. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I'll have to drop your podcast episode with him. So Victor has a podcast as well. Everybody has a podcast is what it's called. [00:12:18] Speaker C: Everybody got a podcast. [00:12:20] Speaker B: So sorry. Got it. [00:12:21] Speaker C: Gotta put the ave on there. [00:12:23] Speaker B: So sorry. And your dad was your first guest, if I remember correctly. [00:12:26] Speaker C: He was. It was my first guest. Well, he technically was my first guest. B.S. [00:12:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And that. That I could listen to you two talk all day. I told you, that's the. That's the sports podcast I want. As a person who loves sports but doesn't follow them enough. And then us joking, because I'm from Connecticut, and I actually went to a son's game last week, and they got beat by the. [00:12:45] Speaker C: They're terrible like that. They've. They've lost the plot. [00:12:50] Speaker B: They got beat by my liberty, which people are like, you're from Connecticut. I'm like, yeah, but I'm a liberty, Dan. Okay, Ellie, please. How will. Please. [00:12:58] Speaker C: I say that happens all the time. Sports anyway, too. Like, sports is regional, but it's not like always. Like, where you grew up is where your team is kind of. [00:13:06] Speaker B: Listen, talk to me about my time in high school, growing up, being a Dallas fan in New England. Dallas Cowboys fan. [00:13:15] Speaker C: That was crazy, though. Like, New England is very, very regional. That's the one place where I'm. [00:13:19] Speaker B: We had New York. We had, like, all of. And everyone's like, you're a what? Fan? I'm like, I know. Everybody, please. My father. My father is a Dallas fan, and my grandfather. My mom's dad was a 49ers fan. I was like, absolutely not. And then my high school colors were green and yellow. I was like, oh, Packers. My dad goes, you will never be a Packers fan. And that sounds like, oh, well, I guess so aggressive. We're going to Dallas. [00:13:43] Speaker C: Well, it's like. Because you have, like, new. Like, the New England area in particular, but, like, that pocket of the Northeast is so interesting to me as a person that grew up in, like, adjacent to Los Angeles, where, like, there's so many teams to root for. And something that my dad had told me during our episode, but he's talked about it all the time. Like, sports were so national when he was growing up. You had a lot of people, like, that only saw, like, four teams from each sport. So, like, you would have, you know, the national games would be, like, the cow. For football would be like, the Cowboys, the Steelers, the packers, you know? Yeah. Like, it'd be those three teams more like, you know, maybe the jets, maybe the Giants, because they were New York. But then for the, like, NBA, it was like the Sixers, the Lakers, the Celtics, you know, baby. Well, yeah, in the 90s, for sure. Yeah. Like, not a. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Not a Bulls fan. [00:14:46] Speaker C: In the 80s, they were doing too much cocaine. But, you know, in the, in the, you know, in the 70s, when everybody only had 13 channels, you know, there's only a few. There's. There's only a few amount of teams that were on television because they. Teams like, you know, sports weren't live back then either. So it was just. It was tape delayed. So, like, you only had a few teams to root for. So that's why you have so many people from, like, different areas that have, like, fandoms that don't necessarily make regional sense. So, like, that's why it's always. That's why it's always so. Yes. Where I was. I was getting there. I was gonna. [00:15:14] Speaker B: No, no. Good. You're good. My teams, like, when people ask me like, this makes no sense. [00:15:20] Speaker C: That's why. That's your. Yeah, I was like, your. Your dad and your grandfather probably were watching ABC in the 760s and 70s and those like that. The Cowboys were marketed as America's team, so that's ridiculous. But, you know, that's what it was. [00:15:40] Speaker B: Wow. [00:15:41] Speaker C: I'm. I'm one of them, you know, I'm a Raiders fan, by the way, for everybody that doesn't know, you also are terrible. But we know it. We know we're terrible. [00:15:49] Speaker B: Listen, see, the thing is, I'm not one of those, like, those Dallas fans. Like, I understand we are an awful team. Jerry Jones is like an abomination. [00:15:57] Speaker C: By and large. By and large. There's a collective dulu with the Cowboys. Can you. Can we agree or disagree on that? [00:16:04] Speaker B: Say that again. [00:16:06] Speaker C: I said there is a collective delulu with Cowboys fans. We agree or disagree with that. [00:16:12] Speaker B: We can wholeheartedly agree. That's. [00:16:14] Speaker C: That's the point. [00:16:16] Speaker B: The thing I always tell people is, like, I'm not like, a talking sports fan because I'm like, I'm not making any money. And what's the point of me yelling at you to raise my blood pressure? I'm not like, who cares? Like, unless I marry Sidney Coulson, which. Sydney, I am available. My DMs are wide open. I'll also drop my actual phone number in the show. That's for you, Sydney. I'm not moving to Indiana, though. Sydney Coulson, I love you deeply, but we got to talk about next year. [00:16:38] Speaker C: You know, professional athletes don't live where they play more. More times than not. [00:16:42] Speaker B: Oh, great, Sydney. Then we can talk again. But, like, I'm just like. I'm like, I don't. Yeah, we'll talk about. I also think she has a full ass girlfriend, which is fine, but who's also like. [00:16:51] Speaker C: Yeah, she's like a wife. Actually, they're not married. [00:16:54] Speaker B: Yeah, don't do that to me. [00:16:56] Speaker C: I think she got a fifi. I think she got a little fiance. [00:16:58] Speaker B: No, this I learned here that they are engaged and I have to go cry in a hole. [00:17:03] Speaker C: I could be wrong. But are you, like, are you doing. Are you doing this live? [00:17:08] Speaker B: Oh, yes. She's in a relationship. They keep their relationship private. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Who cares? [00:17:17] Speaker C: Are engaged, they're gonna pop up married. [00:17:20] Speaker B: I mean, lesbians. [00:17:22] Speaker C: So I would say, I think that's just kind of the new trend that professional athletes do. They just like, pop up. [00:17:29] Speaker B: Well, great. Also my vibe, I couldn't find it. But have we not talked about. This is not our topic. Everybody. Have we not talked about this? About how, like, I am a deeply private person, even though I share a lot online, but, like, romantically, unless you're on my close friends, you don't know what's popping off in my relationship situations? [00:17:47] Speaker C: Yeah, we've definitely talked about it. Because I'm similar. [00:17:50] Speaker B: Very. Yeah, very aloof. So I tell people, like, you will never know that I am. Like, you'll get like a back of a head photo. If you're lucky, you'll get like an engagement ring picture. One day you may get a black and white of just like us walking down the aisle. Back of heads only. Like, you will never know. [00:18:05] Speaker C: I know we've talked about it more. We've talked about it a little bit. But, like, is that because, right. You know, it's always journalism. Right. And you're, you're, you're in, you know, psychology. So, like therapy, all those things. Unpacking that a little bit further. Is it because of, like, what dating looks like now? Or is it because, like, is it because, you know, just simp. Like, is it simply surface social media stuff? Like, what, what is that? Why does that look like that for you? I know why it does. Like, it's like that for me. But why is it like that? [00:18:38] Speaker B: Go first. Want me to go first? [00:18:40] Speaker C: It's your show. [00:18:42] Speaker B: You can go first then. [00:18:44] Speaker C: Oh, all right. Well, there you go. I should have just said, I'll go first. I knew that was gonna happen. Yeah, but you don't know me. [00:18:51] Speaker B: Now I'm like, wait, do I go first just to be. No, no, no, go first. [00:18:55] Speaker C: No, I. For me, it's, it's more. Because it's not necessarily like societal dating, like what the practices are, like, what it looks like. I think for me it's always been about, like, I am more insecure about if this is gonna last. And I have to continually introduce and deintroduce people to my feedback. And as somebody who is a very vulnerable person online with a lot of aspects of my life, that's something I have not been as vulnerable about. And if I was to again introduce a partner or somebody that I'm dating, first of all, like, for everybody out there, I've been in like long situationships, but I've never been in an actual full fledged boyfriend, girlfriend, partner relationship. That's just. For everybody out there might be a red flag. Sorry. But it's the truth. But go ahead, we'll unpack that later. But it's those things that like, it's. It's hard for me to think about that if I feel like it's. Things haven't necessarily worked out. So I'm like, do I do this? Do I not? You know, it's. It's neither here nor there. So I've always kind of carried that part of my social presence with caution. [00:20:21] Speaker B: I have a number of reasons why this is, I think as a, as a, as a woman online in general, but then like a woman in the world, so much of our value is always tied to our partner. Like there's like this, like, you aren't a woman to. You're like in partnership. Like, you know what the I do with my life every day. You. The least interesting thing about me is who I happen to be dating or sleeping or whatever with. And so I was dating this person back when I was 29 and we. I was young then, you know, the Internet. I also didn't have the following I have now. So you. This is also like a different, I think pool of investment at the time. But anyway, I posted him on my Instagram and you would have thought I like won a Pulitzer. Like it was like the most interaction. I was like this like perfectly love a human being, but I'm like, this is what gets y' all hyped, that I just happen to be in a partnership with this person. And then it was Brittany Packnet Yeti, who I love. I'll link her in the show notes. She wrote an actual like freaking book and she then went on her show her podcast, she's like, you would. She goes, as a person who like, has my own show and has my own business and wrote a book, she goes that like, the interactions in those posts about my business and my book still saw substantially less interaction than when I posted the fact that I got engaged or that I got married. Like it was. And so she talked about it at length about like this. There's still this thing of like the, the quote, greatest thing a woman can do is be partnership. And so that I'm like, also, no. Secondly, I will never have anybody embarrassing me online specifically, if I ever happen to date a man again. [00:22:08] Speaker C: A man let a man embarrass you. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Online in like, absolutely not. [00:22:14] Speaker C: I will never get over this. And I know I'm not. Look, I, I love black relationships. I love black couples. Like, damn, like, I, I'm one of them. But. And I hate even bringing this, this back up because it, it happened like two years ago. But when Jonathan Owens was talking about how he didn't know who Simone B. Was before they were. Before they met or like they matched on social, like, what dating app they matched on whatever. I was like, bruh, shut up. [00:22:44] Speaker B: Shut up. The great, one of the greatest athletes. [00:22:47] Speaker C: Even if that's the case, which I could say it, I could believe that. I could believe that that happened because. Not because of, not because of anything that Simone has done or what she's accomplished. More because speaking as a straight, we be in our own world. Like we, like we sometimes I remember one time you, like you said, like, victor, you're such a boy. Because you forget sometimes. Like, and I such a boy. [00:23:18] Speaker B: I love you so much. Such a boy. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Such a boy. Like, and I be trying to, like, I have all the entrapments and entrappings of somebody who's not just a boy. [00:23:28] Speaker B: Like one of the most attentive, aware men I know, but still just a boy. Sometimes just a boy. [00:23:35] Speaker C: I can't help it. [00:23:36] Speaker B: So there's that. Do not embarrass like, like you're saying, how did you not. How did you not know Simone biles? [00:23:43] Speaker C: Look, I'm 1,000% with you. I'm not giving him a way out of the back door. I'm just saying, like, if you're a professional athlete who has to like, only focus on. We are so one track minded that I could understand that that's not even in your purview. And a lot of men unfortunately don't like women's sports. They don't pay attention to it. So I Could see why that is. It's all stupid. Doesn't make it less stupid. I'm just saying, even if that is true, do not say that. It's like, don't go and say with your whole chest on somebody else's like, major platform and be like, you don't know your wife. Because that doesn't make sense. Even as I, like you're aghast right now. Because even me saying it and rationalizing it in, in a way that is rational, it still doesn't make sense. Because it's Simone Biles. It's like somebody dating Serena Williams. I don't know. Serena Williams is. [00:24:40] Speaker B: Her husband would never. [00:24:41] Speaker C: Well, the opposite. We can go the other way. Michael Jordan, he's like, oh, who's Michael Jordan? [00:24:49] Speaker B: You know what? Wait, I will say that helps me put that in perspective because like, I could go out and like meet a celebrity basketball player and have no idea and just like. Or like a, like a person on who's like in the NBA would have no idea. Like, oh, okay. [00:25:05] Speaker C: Yeah, but that's that somebody just in a professional sports league and you're talking, you're talking like cultural weight outside of what they do. Like, and also it's not like the reason why I say Michael Jordan is because like, it's somebody that has Shaq household name. You see him on, you see him on billboards, you see him in television programming outside of what they do. And then also they win. Like, they, they win. Like, they win things like when, if you're, even if you're straight, like, you watch SportsCenter. Simone Biles, like, she's not like the clicker, the ticker. [00:25:46] Speaker B: Sorry, what do you mean? Like, same thing. Thank you. So sorry, I forgot who I'm talking to. Sports professional. Yeah. No, so there's that like, do not embarrass me. And I also think I'm not a Love island person, but obviously it's been like everywhere. It's like the things that are happening there. Like this one couple, they just found out, like this guy, I think he was a white, a Hispanic guy. Latino guy was with this black girl. Like, it's always like hated black women. It's like all that's coming out now and like how he's been like talking about her and like group chats the way I would set fire to this earth. If you ever. [00:26:17] Speaker C: Oh, he's talking about the one again. Don't have not watched this season but like pictures with this like the, the dark skinned cutie. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Yeah, go give it a Google when you hang up because my friends I'm. [00:26:31] Speaker C: Not, I don't need, I don't need any more information than I got right now. [00:26:35] Speaker B: That's all, that's all I can offer you. [00:26:36] Speaker C: I'm infuriated. [00:26:38] Speaker B: Correct. I'm just like do not embarrass me. So there's that. Also I think the, the whole thing about like para relationships like people just get so invested and I think about a friend of mine who has a very large following. She dated this person, he had a large following and then they broke up. And you would have thought like Meghan and Harry ended their relationship. Like you are all way too invested in like strangers lives. Now don't get me wrong. Do I sit here and scroll sometime because I'm very not partnered and like looking at cute people's pictures online. Sure we call that exposure therapy. So I can cry and think about my life choices but I'm not like deeply invested in strangers lives. My other together cute move along. Like I'm not trying to sit here and go down and but then I think of other people who I know who are in relationships and shit ain't sweet. And you know me as a person who tries to post as honestly as possible online. I'm like there's going to be days where I don't like this person and I don't want to have to tell you that I don't like this person because then you're going to be like well take theirs now. I don't want anybody's outside opinion more than the people I need outside opinions about. So there's just a lot there. Also again a man embarrassing me online, I would simply spontaneously combust. [00:27:51] Speaker C: I would say you burn. You burn all this shit to the ground. [00:27:55] Speaker B: Yeah, no I am. Yeah, no I am. What is it? Dark Phoenix. When in X Men. I am. That's me. I am coming for everybody because what are you doing? [00:28:09] Speaker C: I remember when again just pop culture shit. I remember when Kiki Palmer's ex husband. [00:28:18] Speaker B: Which allegedly they're back together and having another baby. [00:28:21] Speaker C: I mean that's toxic relationship 101. [00:28:24] Speaker B: Like that's not stupid and I love Kiki Palmer down stupid. [00:28:27] Speaker C: Nah. But like I mean good, good people make bad decisions. She also thought R. Kelly was like the goat even after all all the came out. I I, we, we being honest or we are. [00:28:38] Speaker B: That that was for me trying to delete that from my brain. I was like I'm sorry, I apologize. Thank you. [00:28:43] Speaker C: I love ke. I love KE Barmer too. Like she put me On a Jammy Eggs. Like, I love Jammy Eggs now. Love Jamie eggs. [00:28:52] Speaker B: Love that point. But, yeah, no, her. Her partner. First of all, we have to do a quick sidebar. You've met me. I am a very aware human. I have made choices. I am a grownup. For that man to try to control Kiki Palmer's life. And I'm not saying, like, she was just like, don't I. There is partnership where you're respectful of your partner. Yes. But I'm like, this is like having a birthday with. It's Usher. [00:29:17] Speaker C: It's Usher. And it's like, I remember. I don't think you ever met Jordan, but one of my best friends, Jordan Hicks, was also a reporter over at Spectrum News at the same time that I was, and I forgot who it was. But, like, one of our other, like, mutual friends asked us one time we were out right after that happened, was like, oh, so you would let your girl get serenaded by Usher and take a cherry out of his hand? Yes. That's why she goes to the. That's why she went to the show. She paid for this. She paid. If you in them seats where you can get a cherry put in your mouth, like, that's. Cause you know what? Guess what? If I go to a. Who's the equivalent to Usher on the others? Not because Beyonce's way too big. That's way too big. I'm just. I'm trying to think of, like. Like, a Meg the Stallion, Mega Stallions. [00:30:05] Speaker B: Would Janet back in the day, like. [00:30:08] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, because she used to have on the thing. Yeah. Do it. I'm not even into bdsm. I'm not even into bdsm. Do it. Put me up here, please. [00:30:21] Speaker B: That's what you paid for. [00:30:23] Speaker C: That. That's. And that's. That's. If you are having those open conversations with your partner. That's. That's neither here nor there. As we talked about, just with, like, presenting ourselves in relationships. Right. Whatever somebody got going on in. In their space and how they communicate, what is it for us to tell them? Like, oh, I. Well, I would be cool with that. All right. That's. You. Hopefully you're with somebody that doesn't want that, because if you're shutting them off from that experience, guess what? They're gonna do it anyway. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. You know, it's the online, like, fodder and feedback. Like, I don't need you telling me what to do in my relationship that. Me and my. Me and my partner. [00:31:01] Speaker C: Yeah, absol. [00:31:02] Speaker B: See, also, speaking of pop Culture, which a friend of mine the other day had to remind me that they. I still have beef with Jay Z. Che cheating on Beyonce. It's my own thing I'm working through. Yes. It's been years, and I'm not over it yet. So I have not. I have not listened to 444. I have not listened to the Carters. Like, I have stopped consuming all Jay Z media. [00:31:21] Speaker C: Here's the thing. I was never a big Jay Z person. I remember getting a lot of flack from my homeboys and even my family, like, my actual, like, blood family about, like, not being the biggest Jay Z fan. So I understand that. I remember being like, when Solange did that thing, and everybody, like, was like, I can't believe that. I'm like, I mean, I don't care. Yeah. I don't care. She might have a reason. [00:31:46] Speaker B: She had a reason. [00:31:48] Speaker C: I was like, salon was on Disney Channel. I don't like. And she don't have no. Like, any person that survives Disney and, like, still, like, carries a, like, fruitful life. [00:31:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:57] Speaker C: You know what I mean? Like, I'm like. And I've never seen her spaz out like, that over anything. And, like, the way that Beyonce just got out the way and let her do it, I was like, she probably had a reason to do it. Again, not condoning violence. Mine is the Jermaine Dupri, Janet Jackson thing. That's probably my biggest. Like, I've never looked at. I've never looked at somebody the same way. Because as music, as musically talented, as much of a musical genius as Jermaine Dupree is, and was at that, specifically at that time. How dare you. Janet Jackson. [00:32:31] Speaker B: Like, Janet Jackson. [00:32:34] Speaker C: Janet Jackson. Like, what are we doing? What are we talking about that in the. I mean, because that was, like, one. That was a person I actually, like, had an affinity for that I had to really, like, even at, like, whatever that was. Third. I was like, 13, 14 years old. Whatever I was. I was like. I really had to, like, look and myself be like, do I? Do I With Jermaine Dupre anymore? Because I was equally as much. Not more of a fan. Always have been. Maybe a single mom thing. I don't know. Janet Jackson's always been like, I got. I got a vinyl. I got multiple vinyls of her at the house right now. So, yeah, that was mine. [00:33:07] Speaker B: Anyway, we have to speak about an actual topic today because we've gotten distracted in the west the best way possible, which I feel like is very on brand for our friendship. I. You have decided that today's topic is talking about women's sports and how it's grown and the support, it seems, and all the shift we've had in women's sports in the last couple years. So I would love to know why you picked this topic. I would love to know what got you here to be such a fan of women's sports. And before we begin, when you pick this topic, all I can think about is the shirt. I've been trying to find that everybody watches women's sports shirts. I need one, and I can't. I cannot find one in a color that I like. I'm trying to find this very specific color anyway, so that's. That's. I. [00:33:54] Speaker C: What color are you looking for? Maybe I could help facilitate this search. [00:33:57] Speaker B: I love. I want the Liberty colorway, honestly, like, their color. [00:34:00] Speaker C: Okay, so you want like a. Like a. Like a teal blue, black lettering. [00:34:06] Speaker B: Yeah. I also. My favorite color is like, a forest green. Olive green. So always looking for that. [00:34:11] Speaker C: Okay, so you would just do like a. Like a neutral tone. [00:34:15] Speaker B: This beige shirt I have on right now will love it in that. Like, just something I can always wear, like, with any bottom. Because then also you can wear it to any women's sports, which is the point. But yes. So why'd you pick this topic? Go ahead. Because I have many things to say. [00:34:30] Speaker C: No. Yeah, like the. I. I really wanted to talk about mainly the. The growth and the shift in how women's sports is being presented and how it's not necessarily being as straightforward as it was when we were kids, because it was all about. And don't get me wrong, like, you know, as a. As a. As an identified straight, I still watch women's sports and be like, oh, she fine as hell. Like, I'm. I'm like, I'm not ashamed to say that at all. I'll be like, you know, I try to keep it within age appropriate, like, for sure, but, like, I definitely would be watching some of these games. I'd be like, even. Even somebody who wouldn't want me, which is Sydney coast. I'd be like, she kind of fine. Like, if she be wearing some of them outfits. [00:35:16] Speaker B: I'm like, my girl dresses down. Okay, sorry, go ahead. [00:35:21] Speaker C: I thought she was, like, more studly. And then, like, she comes out with some of these fits when she goes out. Some of these. I'm like. I'm like, who rich auntie is? You know what I'm saying? So, like, I. [00:35:34] Speaker B: She's only 36. Calm down. [00:35:38] Speaker C: I know, but, like, you, you're a rich auntie. [00:35:41] Speaker B: That's. Thank you very much. You're absolutely correct. [00:35:46] Speaker C: We are, we are auntie and uncle A's. We gotta, as, as people in their mid-30s, we gotta get over that. [00:35:51] Speaker B: No, I actually, this person who's an actual aunt, you're absolutely correct. I'm like, oh no, me too. [00:35:56] Speaker C: As an actual uncle with two, two lovely babies that I love and even though one of them is not so much a baby anymore, he's about to start high school. Love you. Love you, Xavier. Love you, Jay. But yeah, just like how when I was growing up it was like so important for the NBA to present the WNBA as these, you know, cookie cutter girls next door, you know, sexy. You know what I'm saying? And like some of them women had that. But like, you want me to believe, you know, somebody like Diana Taurasi or Cynthia Cooper or, you know, I mean like women that are not necessarily like in that box, like, even if you are straight, like having to present a certain type of image. And like, again, I try to give like perspective on the time that the WNBA started and all these things because you know, gay marriage wasn't legal in every state. Like now. It wasn't federally legal at the time. There was a very close minded mindset as far as the marketing and there's a lot of people in those rooms that were more or less white men. So all of those things have to be taken into consideration. But at the same time, it's like seeing the all star game recently, seeing the, the, the, the Olympics over, you know, last summer and seeing a lot of these, like seeing a lot of these women, I forget her name off the top of my head right now. I feel bad. But the, the women's rugby, rugby player that Alona, I feel like it's with a, it starts with an L, but I'm tripping right now. But she got a lot of, she got a lot of hate online because like during the Olympics because of her body, because she's more muscular and things like that. [00:37:52] Speaker B: Alona. [00:37:52] Speaker C: Yeah, gotcha. And she was, you know, taken to social media to say like, you know, even as somebody who identifies as not, you know, maybe queer or straight, you know, this is who I am is, I'm still feminine, I'm still a, A, every bit of a woman despite the fact that I built this way, you know what I'm saying? And then like the All Star break during the W where like the stud buds are like in all of the WNBA marketing, you see Natasha Cloud, like on their TikTok and social media and all these things. Like, whereas as early as I feel like five years ago, that was not the case. Like you did not see a lot of, you know, queer or gay presenting women out. You know, Natasha Cloud kissed Isabella Harrison after she won the skills competition. That shit would have never happened five to 10 years ago. So for me, it's like as somebody that's really never given a fuck, like, I just want to see people, I just want to see people like play sports and be safe and have a good time. Because that's what I always felt when I was playing sports. Like, it's just beautiful for me to see it happen in real time. Like we're in a moment that, with, with all the things that are happening in the country with, with rights being taken away and all of those things, you see these women, these people get a chance to express themselves and not feel like they're going to lose dollars. They're not gonna, you know, lose branding, they're not gonna lose their contracts. And now hopefully that means that these bigger brands, you know, the Nikes, the, the Adidas, the, you know, the Russell, all these different brands can now start to create advertising around that because it's, it's clear that people, the numbers do it. Like the, the numbers are there. So that's, that's the main reason why and the main reason why I got here. [00:40:04] Speaker B: So many things to circle back on. Number one, Alona is not queer. So it's definitely something long winded. [00:40:08] Speaker C: I apologize. [00:40:08] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no, no, please. Alone is not queer. So it's somebody else you're thinking about. So it may be another I said. [00:40:14] Speaker C: I said or I feel like I put aura in there, but like I thought it was, I thought it might have been her. [00:40:20] Speaker B: But everything you, you said. And I just think about like the work that not only women in sports have done, but I think about like all the queer women in sports who did about all the work around equal pay for athletes. Like we look at like the women's soccer and what they. [00:40:36] Speaker C: Yeah, sure. [00:40:36] Speaker B: Megan Rapinoe, who's engaged slash married to Sue Bird, another female athlete, which love them down very into that partnership. [00:40:45] Speaker C: It's a white couple. I'll stand for facts. [00:40:48] Speaker B: So I think about them, I think about, you know, I think watching so many of the soccer, queer soccer women during like the last couple of like World Cups, like the work and conversations they were having and using their platform as both women and queer folks and the ones who had both identities right of like, the work that they did. But then, like, the whole thing about, like, everyone watches women's sports, I cannot tell you today. The last time I watched a dude played sports is just, like, fine. But I will. If there's a women's game on, I would be. Nobody talk to me. I don't care what it is. It could be, like, bocce. It could be freaking, like, polo matches. Like, oh, I want, like. And, like, you see. Like, you say you see the numbers. Like, when I went to the Liberty back in July, they packed. That bit was packed. Okay. [00:41:42] Speaker C: Like, for the nets. Because the nets suck. [00:41:46] Speaker B: I was like, oh, like, to see that. Like, I think in almost every. Every game they have that. You watch it on TV packed. Like the Connecticut Suns packed. And I'm like, no shade to the Suns. But that's because people are here to see the Liberty. Like, just to see. Like, I'm gonna. As a Liberty fan, I can say that. But just watching that, like, the. The true connection and dedication that people have to women's sports. And then also, like, you're saying with rugby, like, rugby was so big in these last Olympics, specifically because this is the first time the US has ever placed. We got third, but, you know, we'll take it. And then, like, watching the women who did rugby come out and talk about representation in sports and what that, like, will mean for younger girls. Like, you can have any sort of body in play in sports. Sports. You were going to say something. [00:42:30] Speaker C: I think it was, like, the first time in 100 years. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Well, I wasn't alive, so it's the first time in my lifetime. So it's the first time. [00:42:38] Speaker C: Sorry. For me. Mansplaining. [00:42:39] Speaker B: That's the corrections. We get it. You follow sports, not a man. Correcting me. On my own. [00:42:45] Speaker C: On your. On your platform. [00:42:47] Speaker B: So nice. We're gonna wrap up. [00:42:48] Speaker C: We just talked about embarrassing. [00:42:54] Speaker B: On my own. [00:42:56] Speaker C: This is why I don't have a girlfriend, everybody. [00:42:58] Speaker B: It's not why you don't have a girlfriend. No. Because dating is the worst. Is why you don't have a girlfriend. Everyone's terrible. No one wants to really do the work, but that's a whole different conversation for a whole different. [00:43:09] Speaker C: Whole different. [00:43:10] Speaker B: We don't have the. We. We do have the time. [00:43:12] Speaker C: That's part two. [00:43:13] Speaker B: That's hard to do. But, yeah. I just. I think of when you bought this up, especially around queer representation in sports as a very queer person. Again, Sydney Coulson, you. I know you have a partner, but I'm still very much available. Listen you got to shoot your shot sometimes. Okay. I'm just. [00:43:33] Speaker C: I didn't say a word. I was just. Because I think it's cute you laugh. [00:43:37] Speaker B: I down, like, top of the crush list. [00:43:41] Speaker C: The way. [00:43:42] Speaker B: The way you. [00:43:42] Speaker C: Yeah, the way you shoot your shot, like. All right, that's. That's great. I'm already. I'm already here. Like, let's do it. [00:43:54] Speaker B: Listen, people break up every day. Not saying that I want them to, but people break up every single day. [00:43:59] Speaker C: Sounds like you want to. [00:44:01] Speaker B: I don't know. Because her also. Her girlfriend. Fiance person is also fine and so talented. [00:44:06] Speaker C: Oh, I know. [00:44:08] Speaker B: I support that relationship. But on the off chance y' all don't work. [00:44:16] Speaker C: Let'S keep it a band. The. The girls don't know how to have a non baddie on their arm. [00:44:22] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. We're not. Again, we're not about to be embarrassed. It's so funny. Speaking of. Because I'm. I am not a perfect person, everybody. I am human being. Yeah. But speaking of baddies, I think that's also why I don't want to post anybody online. Because for a long time before I got in my hot aunt era, my biggest fear was always, like, if someone saw me with a partner and be like, oh, you're with Bri. The way I would disintegrate if someone was ever, like, if I. If you. If I know. It's, like a thing in my head. And, like, all my friends, like, just date someone who's medium ugly. I'm like, you guys, I could never. I can't. My ego could never. I'm so sorry. Shout out to the people who could. Everyone deserves love lit for every pot, but. Okay. I simply cannot. And so talking about baddies, having baddies. Mike. Yes. No, I am. Yes. [00:45:29] Speaker C: Women keep a baddie. [00:45:31] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:45:32] Speaker C: Y' all take all the baddies. Y' all take all the baddies from us. [00:45:35] Speaker B: Y' all should be acting right. [00:45:38] Speaker C: Yeah, I. I don't disagree. I'm just telling you what the facts of the situation are. We can talk about the context another time. [00:45:44] Speaker B: But listen, we're as an equal opportunity dater around these parts. [00:45:50] Speaker C: Sure. [00:45:51] Speaker B: I just. There's just. I. What I want to tell the people. You gotta think about that. [00:45:57] Speaker C: As you just said, you don't want to be too vulnerable about this stuff. See what happens when we talk? This is. This is unfortunate. [00:46:05] Speaker B: This is what happens. Oh, I. I'm gonna. I'm not. I'm not gonna. [00:46:13] Speaker C: You're gonna table that one. All right. [00:46:15] Speaker B: For a second. Yeah. As A. As a person who is all. Obviously I care about the person who they are, but then also, yeah, absolutely. Looks are. Looks are important. But if I got on the Internet is just a place that I'm just like, I could never. Although, you know who. You know, a couple I am really interested in. Sidebar. Really? Jordan woods and the man she's with who plays basketball. He was. He's on. He's on the Nets. I mean, he's on the Knicks. [00:46:47] Speaker C: Okay. [00:46:48] Speaker B: Tall black guy. [00:46:50] Speaker C: Is he. Is he Dominican? [00:46:52] Speaker B: Carl? [00:46:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:54] Speaker B: They're together. They've been friends for a long time. They're together. This isn't about him. They've been together for a minute. Yes. They've been friends for a long time. They've been dating for maybe, like, three years. Yeah. Give it a go. [00:47:06] Speaker C: Now. Now, as a. As. Again, as a resident straight. Who is Jordan woods again? I know she is. I just don't. I just don't. Like, I can't place it right now in my head. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Jordyn woods grew up with, like, Willow and. [00:47:20] Speaker C: Okay. [00:47:21] Speaker B: Smith. Her dad worked on Fresh Prince. That's how they met Will and Jada. She went on Red Table Talk. She used to be Kylie Jenner's friend. Like, all that drama happened. [00:47:32] Speaker C: Is that how I know? Unfortunately. Okay. That's unfortunate. [00:47:34] Speaker B: Yeah. But Jordan, a baddie, if you've. [00:47:38] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. She. Why is she hanging out with these girls? Because my. My. [00:47:42] Speaker B: My sister Jada introduced. Introduce them. Because she grew up with Jaden. Jade. [00:47:47] Speaker C: I mean, they all grew up in that same area, so that makes sense. But, like, I remember my sister used to watch. I'm like, who's that? And, like, she. She finer. All of them. Like, why she hanging out with them? [00:47:55] Speaker B: She's fine. [00:47:57] Speaker C: But she was like. Was she, like, Kim's assistant, too or something like that? Did I make that up? [00:48:01] Speaker B: She. No. She worked for Kylie for a little while. Like, they had been friends for a long time. [00:48:05] Speaker C: I got you. [00:48:06] Speaker B: She ended up working for Kylie, I think, for like, a year maybe. And I could also still be wrong. Anyway, every. All her outfits for when the Knicks were in the playoffs and in the finals, I was like, this better fucking go off. She looked so good. And that's all I ever think about. Like, I just want to be a great, supportive partner also. But to walk in with a fit and be like, oh. [00:48:33] Speaker C: I think that's the best way you could show for your partner is like, don't embarrass me. Well, it's also. Don't. I think this goes well, well, beyond that. But. But yeah, Bas Baseline Foundation. Don't embarrass me. But, like, the way you could show for me is showing that, like, even if you don't give a fuck about what I'm doing, like, not saying that Jordan doesn't. I'm sure she's a sports girly, too. I'm not discriminating over here, but if you don't, like, pull up, like, pull. [00:49:01] Speaker B: Up and pull out all the stops. [00:49:03] Speaker C: Because you know what I mean? Like, because how else do you show. [00:49:06] Speaker B: Coming with a look? Well, it's funny because when we just got on, you, like, you look cute. Like, oh, I curl my hair every morning now. My makeup been done for, like, an hour. [00:49:12] Speaker C: Like, I. I just like the whole. I like all of it. I like the curl. I like the glass. I love the glasses. You know, I'm a glasses guy. And then I like to shoot because you usually always. You're not like, you know, you like to dress up. So I usually don't get to see you, like, in a. Just a T shirt. [00:49:30] Speaker B: And. [00:49:30] Speaker C: Yeah. So I like the earrings, too. [00:49:33] Speaker B: Thank you. Yeah, speaking of glasses, I like your glasses that you wouldn't let me have that I then had to go buy for myself. [00:49:38] Speaker C: I sent you the link. I sent you the exact. Yeah, don't, don't. Don't start out. [00:49:44] Speaker B: And then there were 30 options, and I didn't get the right color. But I got two other colors. [00:49:48] Speaker C: One that you could have asked which ones. [00:49:51] Speaker B: I look like the guy from the Matrix. And, you know, because I bought them, I'm not gonna not wear things I purchased. [00:50:01] Speaker C: You said you liked them. [00:50:03] Speaker B: I like the one pair. So it was. I got two pairs. So one was like the clearer glasses, and then one was like a darker, like, navy blue, almost like lens. And those are like Morpheus from the Matrix, but that's a different conversation for a different day. Anyway, they do also not an ad, but these glasses are from Warby Parker, and they're gold frames. And I just feel like they're very. [00:50:24] Speaker C: They do sponsor it. [00:50:27] Speaker B: They could be Warby Parker. I'm looking at you aviator style. So I was like, are they giving Jeffrey Dahmer? So I get a little subconscious about them sometimes. [00:50:36] Speaker C: He ruined aviator glasses. And I'm not. I don't support that. I don't support that at all. [00:50:41] Speaker B: I'm like. I'm trying to reclaim them, actually. I'm like, no, they're now going to be a Briana Jenkins. [00:50:45] Speaker C: I support that, too. I support that. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Listen, I was in the store. I kept going between the gold ones and the silver one. The lady's like, just get the gold that goes better with your. Your complexion. Like, thank you, girl. But I still may go back and get this silver. So anyway, but yes, so sorry, this is what happens. We just go on a tangent. [00:51:02] Speaker C: But no, like, are like, do you, as somebody who is, you know, identifies as queer, like, like when, like the recent, you know, optics of women's sports, is that something for you that, like, makes you feel good about supporting women's sports in general? [00:51:18] Speaker B: Like, 199 of the time I'm going to support women. There's still that 1%. When I'm like, you're out of pocket. It's like the woman who's trying to get rid of gay marriage right now, who's been married four times and thinks of that thing to do with marriage. That's a different conversation for a different podcast as well. Yes, I am very much into this. I also think, like, as a person who's not like a PDA person per se, like, that's just not my vibe. Love a handhold, love a quick kiss. That's like my stature. But I love that, like, the queer women are like, no, like, the straight men get to like, kiss their partners after games. And like, the straight girl is good because their partners after games. So why can't we. And I still think about it too, like, eventually what this will do for, like, queer men in sports. Like, will that open the door for them of, like, we've what, had like six out gay men in football ever? I believe if that. I think even that's me being overzealous. [00:52:14] Speaker C: So I think there have been six recorded. I think there's been one open. [00:52:18] Speaker B: Okay, but just thinking about that, like, what it does for everyone if we get to just like, exist also, this is a different conversation for a different day. Maybe the, the pay discrimination in the WNBA to the NBA drives me insane. Like, the highest paid woman in NBA thing makes like a quarter mil right now. I'm like, those are pennies. Pennies in clearing out Barclays is insane to me. [00:52:46] Speaker C: Well, that's. I, I wouldn't even say for a different day. I think for me though, the, that in that part is always so interesting because you have a lot of men that'll say, well, like, you can't pay. You know, Brianna Stewart the same as you pay. Or Asia Wilson as you pay LeBron James. And I, I would, I would agree with that. But the thing is, women aren't asking for the same pay, the same thing with. Because it's, it's, it was the same thing with, with women's soccer, with the national team. They're not asking for you to pay them the same exact money or the same exact rate. They're asking for similar ad dollars and revenue sharing. And that's the part that's always so frustrating when you're having those conversations because you have people who couldn't pass, you know, sophomore year geometry or senior year statistics trying to tell you, like, well, you know, the math doesn't add up. I'm like, bro, they're investing millions of dollars in this league. Of course there's money to be had. They're cutting new. They're cutting new TV deals. There's money to be had. They just want a bigger piece of the pie. They don't want to get paid $100 million over X amount of years. And every time you have a woman having to supplement her income by going overseas to play a sport, it doesn't make sense. And the reason why, it also doesn't make sense because you have track athletes that can make money. You have gymnastics athletes that it, the, the money's there and it exists. So don't try to tell me that just because these women bounce a ball or they kick a soccer ball doesn't mean that's my rant. [00:54:21] Speaker B: Doesn't mean it makes me think about the conversation we had when there were student athletes and the students couldn't get paid, but we were making money off, like, their jerseys and everything else. I was like, for these kids who invest their whole lives and are making you bajillions of dollars, don't get a cut of that. [00:54:39] Speaker C: Yeah, it's, it's very similar. Like, and even still, I'm having arguments with these, you know, boomers and bars about, like, well, you know, the, the. They get, you know, they, they've taken the sport away from the regional, you know, fandoms and now the conferences and alignments and, you know, a lot of the kids got to get. Because, bro, they made, they're making money off of this. This. Somebody is seeing the money. And once you have kids start to see that that, that can of worms was open because, like, it was at Obana and shout out to ucla. Everybody doesn't know I'm from the west coast, born and raised. Are you about my attire? If you just couldn't tell by how I. I'm dressing right now. [00:55:22] Speaker B: Did you hear me? It's the first time you've mentioned on this podcast Ever. [00:55:25] Speaker C: I didn't mention that. I think my, I said my dad. My dad. I think I said, does. All right. [00:55:29] Speaker B: No, we talked about it. I'm being. [00:55:30] Speaker C: I don't care. I'm from the West Coast. [00:55:32] Speaker B: I'm from proud West Coast. We got it. [00:55:37] Speaker C: But. Big UCLA fan and Ed o', Bannon, who was a. On the national championships game in 1995, was the person that initiated the. The COGS to turn on nil and name image and likeness, because he literally saw himself in a. In a video game. He saw himself like. He saw himself like as a, as a character in a video game his son was playing or something like that. And so he was like, I didn't get any money from this. And this is about. He was done playing professional sports. And I think he was like, you know, a manager at a car dealership or something like that, or he owned a car dealership at the time or something. And his son was playing and he was like, what the hell? So then he just started contacting his lawyer and that's how that engine start. Started churning. So I just think that, you know, with women, it's the same thing. They, They've noticed over the last 10 years, 10, 15 years, that, hey, we're the draw, especially the women's national team for soccer because, like, the men's national team sucks. So, so, like, the fact that they were winning all those, you know, World Cups and Olympics and all those things, and people from around the world are like, you know, watching them play on television and, and things like that, they're like, what the hell's going on? So, yeah, I know that was a tangent you didn't necessarily want to get on. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Well, because now I just think you're talking about the representation and what it means. All I can think about is when Rapinoe, her goal, she got during one of the World Cups and she stands in the corner with her arms outstretched and be like, she's over celebrating. Go. We see literal men do backflips in the end zone every Sunday. [00:57:09] Speaker C: I was talking about even keeping it within the sport. Soccer men take their shirt off, run around. You know, they run around and cry all the time. They on the ground, every time they get. They get side tackled and stuff. [00:57:22] Speaker B: Like, this is. This is my biggest thing. Thing with soccer. I'm like, the way men fall all over themselves playing. Like, if you don't get up and run, we have a girl with a broken leg slot. They're trying to play the next freaking. Be serious. [00:57:35] Speaker C: So, Yeah, I, I 1000% agree with that, too. And again, like Megan Rapinoe, you know, being with Sue Bird at a lot of these things and, you know, and they're not necessarily. I think it's probably still a product of, you know, the time that they've grown into that they're not super affectionate or. And they don't show. [00:57:56] Speaker B: They've also both retired right now, so. Well, now Sue's not still playing. I know. Megan. [00:58:03] Speaker C: I'm even saying, just like, when she was still playing and sue was still playing, you didn't see a lot of outward affection from them after the post game. Like you said, you see with a lot of straight athletes where they're kissing their spouses or, or especially somebody that people that are partnered and, you know, married, you know, because they're. They're together together. So I think that's a part of that, too. But, like, again, like, you just see, you know, more of that, at least from a standpoint of somebody who is, like, you're not necessarily checking for that. But, like, I just. Something I noticed, I was just like, wow. It's like I remember seeing online, like, a lot of, like, people who are queer or, you know, identify as lgbtqia and, like, they are like, this is crazy. Like, is. This is not a thing. And I, I recently watched the, you know, Subir documentary a few years ago or a couple, you know, early that came out a few years ago that watched this year. And then I haven't caught Diana Tarasi's you know, docu series on. On Prom, I think it is. But a lot of the language they were using was like, you know, when they came out of college, it was, you know, you had to have your hair a certain way. You had to wear, like, more skimpier blouses and outfits and things like that going to the draft process. But now you got, you know, Si Rivers, who I love, who plays for the sun, you know, she went to the. The draft this past, this past spring in, like, a tux, you know what I'm saying? Like, and you're you. I think that's always been kind of, like, around, but now you see more. It's more prevalent. Like, you. People are talking about, like, Saniya is talking about how her suit got styled by X person, and, like, she's not shy to talk about how she's dressing comfortably for herself. And I think that's something that I wasn't at least, even if I wasn't privy to it or I didn't notice it. I'm starting to Notice it now. And I feel like it's because it's becoming more prevalent. More women are being. Are comfortable. More even more men are comfortable dressing how they want to. And it's not to, like, it's not because it's feminine or masculine. It's because this is how I feel safe. This is how I feel comfortable in my own skin. And I think that's beautiful. Like, I just. Because, like, again, I grew up playing. I've been playing sports since I was 4 or 5 years old. And I, you know, outside of my skin color, sometimes, like, I never felt truly unsafe playing sports. I always felt like this was a space for me to be in, to develop in. And I feel like a lot of people who identify as LGBTQ plus don't feel like that all the time. Like, they just don't. They just don't feel like there's a space for them to be comfortable. That's why, like, when people talk about, I forgot the young man, he's a defensive lineman for the Saints. He had like a LGBTQ plus football camp this past spring and people were like, online, not, you know, there's a lot of support too, but there's still a little pocket of bigot, you know, bigotry, where it's like, well, why do we have to do all that? Because these kids did not feel safe. If you were a trans kid or a gay kid or non binary or queer or whatever you identify as, like, you did not feel space to go to a football space, the quote unquote, most masculine space you could be in, you did not feel the same. That's why when Carl Nas, you know, Raiders, you know, go Raiders. When he first came out for us, when he was playing for us, it was like, I was like, that's good that he felt safe to do that in that locker room. Like, because that was not always. [01:01:22] Speaker B: Those who don't know, what did he do? [01:01:24] Speaker C: So Carl NASA, he was a defensive lineman for the Raiders. He was. He's the first openly gay football player to play in the NFL. Michael Sam was the first openly gay person to get drafted, but he never actually made it onto a 53 man NFL roster. Carl Nass was already. He had already been in the league for, I want to say at least 10 years. Really good player. I think he was all pro once or twice. But he openly. He came out like his last couple years in the NFL and it was obviously a huge deal because it's never happened before, and that's how the news cycle goes. But he had said like, for years he had had told at least a couple of his teammates and they were cool with it, but he just didn't feel like it was the right time or place because the NFL is such a boys club. And it's so much about, like, not being a distraction and all those pseudonyms they use for othering people that stand on business in other ways that he didn't feel comfortable. And then he finally felt comfortable enough to do that. And I can't remember if he has like a partner he's open with necessarily on social media, but I know for a fact that he's like, you know, the first openly gay man to play in the NFL, so. And I just think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that women have, you know, queer women, gay women, you know, LGBTQ plus women, have set the tone over the last 10 years of being more open with that and being more open with how their leagues are represented. And I think that's super important. I just, I think it's beautiful. Like I said, I really just think it's like, you know, I love that Natasha Cloud, like I said, I'm loving Natasha Cloud can kiss Isabella Harrison. And I feel a way about it, like, because that just wasn't a thing. Just straight up, especially during All Star Weekend. Like, you know, like, you know, that's just my two cents, I think, too. [01:03:20] Speaker B: Like the representation of everything, specifically when you talked about the person who hosted the. The football camp for queer youth. Because then that's also, as you know, it makes me want to go down the tangent about the conversation about trans folks in sports, which we don't have time for today. That's a. That's a. That's a part three episode. Because for those of you who don't know, I have a personal beef with Pete Buttigieg, the mayor who ran for office many moons ago, who's gearing up for the presidential run, which met his husband Chastain, we followed on Instagram. Adore. Love, Chasten. Sorry, Justin, that you have to listen to this part. If you do listen to the podcast. I've always had my own beef with Pete. I actually call him Mayor Mayo because I hate Mannies as much as I hate him. And so, yes, I'm stealing that I hate him. I hate mayonnaise and I hate him. Mayor Mayo, about you that I hate mayonnaise. Disgusting. Yes. I didn't realize that was a black thing until like a couple years ago. I was like, oh, no, I hate. [01:04:20] Speaker C: That is. That's like, I Feel like that's in our DNA for some reason, because I'm like. [01:04:24] Speaker B: I'm talking, like, all iterations of it. Like, I don't. [01:04:26] Speaker C: Oh, you don't even. Like, you don't even like the spread. [01:04:29] Speaker B: No. Like, what do we do? Miracle Whip. That's nasty. [01:04:34] Speaker C: I'll do. I think I'll do Miracle Whip as, like, a slight. Like, mixed with butter as a slight toast for whenever I make you burgers or grill out, I will remember that you don't. Do not want that. [01:04:47] Speaker B: If I don't know. If I don't know it's there, I'm fine. It's the minute, like, I know and. [01:04:51] Speaker C: See it that's even funnier. [01:04:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, like, I'm not, like, putting mayo on a sandwich. Disgusting. [01:04:57] Speaker C: I also like hummus on sandwiches. [01:05:00] Speaker B: Delicious. I also, like, have to suspend reality sometimes when I eat, like, a potato salad, because I love potato salad. Hate mayo. Oh, I know. I have to, like, be like, it's not so. I have to, like, suspend reality and be like. I'm like. I was like, you know those men. Yes. I am aware that that word is. [01:05:19] Speaker C: You can't make the potato salad. [01:05:21] Speaker B: I don't. But it's funny because, like, if I make tuna, I'll use it, but I have to. I only ever have the squeeze bottle of it. I know it makes no sense. I just hate it. [01:05:30] Speaker C: But I'm learning. [01:05:33] Speaker B: In something. I feel better about it. It's just. [01:05:36] Speaker C: That's. That's a fair thing. But, like, yeah, that makes sense, but it's just. It's just funny. [01:05:42] Speaker B: When I make tuna, there's also mustard and dill relish. And, like, it cuts right? [01:05:45] Speaker C: There's. There's. It's. There's. It's a component. It's not. Yeah, I get that. [01:05:49] Speaker B: Also, sometimes I'll use. I'll use Greek yogurt instead, which might be the whitest thing about me, because it adds more protein. [01:05:55] Speaker C: That's pretty white. Hipster review for sure. Yeah. It's like, Portland white. [01:06:00] Speaker B: I lived in Austin for a while, so, you know, there's that. [01:06:03] Speaker C: Austin is Southern Portland, so that makes sense. White. White Atlanta. [01:06:08] Speaker B: What? Shut up. So the reason mayo came up is because I hate Pete. I was like, how'd we get here? And right now he's been going on, like, a lot of, like, oh, yeah, yeah. MAGA air quotes podcast, which I'm, like, racist and homophobic, trying to go across. [01:06:22] Speaker C: The aisle, as they say, which I'm. [01:06:24] Speaker B: Like, stop extending the hand. They hate us. Like, Stop. Stop with this. Everyone kick rocks and roll over and go to bed. Like, shut up. And he's just been so problematic. And as a queer person and knowing the history of, like, the, like, you know, sports. I know queer history. Right. And so for such a long time, how queer men and sometimes the lesbians would erase trans folks and like, be like, well, you know, that's like their problem. [01:06:50] Speaker C: Or who Specifically white. Specifically. [01:06:54] Speaker B: Black and brown people. It's the, as we know, the other side of the hand. [01:06:59] Speaker C: I know about the Stonewall, you know, resistance a little bit. [01:07:02] Speaker B: Stonewall riots. Yep. And yeah. And so I'm gonna mansplain gay history to you now. But no, it's okay. So for. For him to be going as a person who is white and cisgender and in a position of power and like, just the way he's been talking about, like, trans kids, I'm like, stop speaking. Because then they're going to take it and run and you're an idiot. And it drives me crazy. And I'm like, I know people would have a problem we talking about him. I don't care. I think he needs to be held accountable for the trauma he is causing. Almost like, why are you going to have a CIS person talking about trans issues who's not. [01:07:39] Speaker C: When you have a trans lawmaker, like, you have a trans lawmaker in office, I'm like. [01:07:44] Speaker B: And he's not for me, in my experience, I don't see him as a true ally to trans folks. So I'm like, what is he doing? Taking up space. And anyway, so that's all I think about too. Like, this constant conversation about, like, queer people in sports, queer and trans people in sports and what that does. And I think that brings me back to, like, the rugby conversation. Well, first of all, rugby, like, the. The policing of bodies, that's what made me think about Alona. Like, she's had a lot of online conversation. Like, you don't get to tell a body or any person if they're an athlete or not. And then also looking to specifically in track, black women in track, and how we just have high level of testosterone. And like, you know, it was never a problem when Michael Phelps made more lactic acid, but the minute a woman makes more, you know, makes more testosterone, it's an issue. So I'm just always like, I love seeing women, specifically queer women in sports, you know, you know, women whose bodies may, like, be like the quintessential air quote, ideal sports body, having these conversations because the door is going to open. I'M just like, everybody just let people. Like you said, let people live. What. What does it. What harm does it cause you? [01:08:50] Speaker C: It doesn't cost you anything. It is. That is free. Like, that's. I think that's the, the reason I've always gotten frustrated with, you know, acquaintances or anybody. I remember when I was in, When I was at Benedictine, shout out to Jaylen Mr. Smith. He was, you know, as far as I remember it, he was the first openly gay college athlete that I could remember while he was playing. Or he's like one of the, you know, one of the few that ever been openly gay. He was a, you know, basketball player for us at the, at the school. And he got into a situation with the, with the, with the administration because he had a. A pride flag hanging out of his. His row house in college, and the administration made him take it down because we went to a Catholic school and it was like a whole. It was a whole thing. But, like, I remember even being on the paper at the time. I didn't do the story, but I remember we were having the conversations within the editorial space, and I was like, we have, like, cutouts of Ronald Reagan in windows here. Like, we have political, like, we have political, like, fodder on campus. So, like. Cause the reasoning they. [01:10:02] Speaker B: That's a freedom of speech hindrance. [01:10:03] Speaker C: Well, like, you know, it's private institution. It's not public, so it's a, you know, it's. It was a private Catholic school, so, like, they make their own rules American, but. But right. But also, it wasn't like the. I think the reasoning they used for him, them like, asking him to take it down and like, you know, or consequently, you know, the fear of consequences or whatever was like, it was political. It was, it was innately political. Right? And I remember in the, in the, like, editorial, like, when we were talking about it, I was like, we have all types of political shit around the campus. Like, that was like the first thing I said because my first, My first memory of Benedictine was walking up to the. The. Our football facility. Facility. And there is in plain sight, straight ahead, like, in my view, in somebody's window, there was a Ronald Reagan cut out. And I was like, oh, I'm unsafe here. That was my first. That was my first thought, like, when I got to campus, like, there's no way they're going to. A lot of these people are going to see me as human, if that's okay, because they have a different idea. It's a separate America. Like, it's not. It's not the America that I. I know and what Ronald Reagan means to me, you know what I'm saying? So once you started seeing stuff like that and how they played out and, like, seeing him, like, literally be a pillar in that community outside of the fact that he was gay, because he wasn't just an athlete. Like, he was involved in, like, campus societies, and he was very much a popular kid amongst, like, everyone. Like, it was not like, a big deal. None of us was like, oh, like, you're like, he's gay, but it wasn't, like, a thing that was a constant topic of conversation. And again, like, I went to a separate school than the general population did because I only hung out with athletes for the most part. I didn't really hang out with the general populace of the school outside of, like, school projects and things like that, because, like, it was a lot of. A lot of kids that, like, just didn't see the world the same as I did. And most of the kids that were black and brown were athletes. So just, like, speaking to that representation, it's like, hopefully that person that's coming up doesn't have to live in the same world as Jalen does, where they could go to school at a private institution. And because you see more representation with, you know, in women's sports and in sport, like, you know, start seeping over into the men's games now as well, where you don't. Like, I just found out recently that, like, there was, you know, we had our first openly gay male figure skater. And not to put, like, my own prism on that, but I was like, I would have thought that would have been more universally accepted. And if there were male gay figure status, that would have been more of a thing, I guess. Like, not to say that, you know, you got to be gay to figure skate, but I was like, that's kind of interesting that this is, like, recently was the first person to be openly gay and a man in that space. So hopefully, like, with, you know, now more women can come up and come into these spaces. Like you said, we see the numbers of, hey, this works, like, just from a pure, hey, you guys are greedy capitalists. Like, y' all can still make money and highlight these very different perspectives that are beautiful like this. And it's no. It's literally no different. Like, it's. It's. I think that's the part that us as sports fans have to get out of that mindset that, like, hopefully, in 10 years, five years, when another woman lifts up and kisses her partner after A game. It's not a. It's not a point of conversation. It's just something that happened because like you said when Savannah and LeBron James embrace each other and kiss each other after a game. Yes. You know, it might be a TikTok. It might be a real. It might be something that happened, like, oh, that's cute. But it's not, like, a big deal. It's not as, you know. And that's, you know, we don't have to again for another topic, but another time. But, like, that's why all the things with, you know, parents, these conservative people, like, getting all up in arms with Disney movies, having, you know, gay representation or things like that. You know, when I remember when spongebob, I got an argument with a professional athlete on Twitter over spongebob being asexual, I'm like, sponges are asexual in the wild, you dumbass. Like, what are you talking about, bro? Like, I don't get. Like, for people to have that level of, like, cognitive disconnect is, like, just alarming to me. You know what I'm saying? So, like, hopefully we get to a space where these things continue to stack up and people allow, like, people who identify as LGBTQ plus to just exist, and then we don't have to continually have these conversations. [01:14:49] Speaker B: Thank you so much for coming on today's show. I'll link everything in the show notes, everything we talked about, how people can find you at the end of every episode. I asked my guests a final sort of palate cleanser question to help leave us on a high note, and the question is, what is the best advice you've ever been given? Or what's a piece of advice you would give to your younger self? [01:15:10] Speaker C: I'm going to such a. Such a boy. I'm gonna take it a different way and just let everybody know. Not necessarily the best advice, but the best. I would say the best things. That one of the best things that's happened to me in my life is my friendship with Bri. And recently she's been an anchor in my life, and she's been somebody who I've leaned on a lot. And she hates when I say sorry, but I've been very apologetic for that because I don't want to dump things on her in Mass. But she's. She's. She's been there a lot. I won't get too far into it, but I just want to give her her flowers because she deserves them all the time, and she inspires me all the time. A lot of the structure of my podcast is based on this structure. I've stolen her website ideas. I've recently started getting back into shape as I entered my mid-30s, and a lot of it is due to the content that she has produced. And I'm trying not to cry, but she's been such a. A big, you know, presence in my life, especially of late. And I just want to tell her thank you because it's meant a lot and I'm a better person for knowing her and I'm a better man for knowing her. So I just wanted to do that. Not necessarily the best advice. She has given me plenty of great advice in that time, but I won't share that because it's very personal. And, um, yeah, I just want to say thank you. [01:17:00] Speaker B: You're welcome. I was not expecting that. So now I'm also crying. I love you so much and I love that you trust me and that we have this friendship. And thank you. That's it for this week's episode of the Tea with Bri. Be sure to follow the podcast on Instagram at the Tea with Bri. Send me an email at the tea with Bri gmail.com or visit the website the2withbre podcast.com. you can find me, your host, Brianna Jenkins on Instagram at Brianna Jenkins. Don't forget to rate, review and follow on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. A special thanks to Mama Duke for our theme music and I will catch you next time. Bye. It.