[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, before we hop into this week's episode, I wanted to give a trigger warning and remind you to just check the show notes because we may be discussing sensitive topics.
If this episode's too heavy for you, we'll catch you next time. But if it's okay and you want to tune in, I look forward to sharing the space with you.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right These people won't let me go I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right These people won't let me go Let me grow, let me go, let me grow, let me go. They should know, they should know they should know, they should know I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right? You won't let me go.
[00:01:12] Speaker A: Welcome to the Tea with Bri. I'm your host, Bri. Thanks for listening. The Tea with Bree podcast is focused on deep, honest and vulnerable conversation. Each week I sit down with a different guest in order to have those conversations. Every week we'll start my guest bio, an intern to how we know each other, and then we'll go into a deep dive conversation about whatever topic they brought to me that week. This week I am joined by my guest, Sarah Bonds. Sarah Bonds is a queer Jewish social justice worker and activist committed to balancing the scales of access and equity through joy and justice in equal parts. Her community organizing background range is dynamic and diverse, having been involved in public health actions in over 20 countries and impacting the lives of over 5 million women and children. She is the founder of a leading feminist global aid organization, Circle of Health International, and two social impact companies, Walking Giants and Better Union. She produces two podcasts, Jewish and Shalom Y'all, and shares her writing through a substack newsletter. We belong to each other. She recently served as interim executive director at Congregation Beth Israel. She lives in Austin, Texas with her two adventurous teenage sons and her adventurous husband, where they can be found creating their wild and wonderful lives together. Hello, friend.
[00:02:25] Speaker C: Hey, you.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: I'm so excited to chat with you. It's been. I feel like it's been a long time coming. We. We get together, we talk about all the things in life off the air. And I was like, we have to capture this in a one hour podcast.
[00:02:41] Speaker C: What is time?
[00:02:42] Speaker A: A construct and a lie and fleeting.
[00:02:45] Speaker C: And all the things on time. Girl, we are right on time.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: I know time is time is a time.
It was Funny before, sort of recorder, trying to think of when we first met and we're both like. We just kind of, like, became friends, like you said. We just ended up in each other's orbit. What I feel like is a very good testament to what kind of people we both are. Just like, this makes sense.
[00:03:07] Speaker C: And I feel like it was during, like, the quarantine part of the pandemic, where we, like, I would just call you every Friday. You were on my, like, Friday call.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:03:19] Speaker C: And I don't know, I feel like I had a lot of friendships that became more robust during that time of the pandemic, and they've not all sustained that quality as we move back into the world.
But I am just so proud to be a part of your orbit. So lucky team.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: I feel the same. I know we ran into each other last week. It was truly the best surprise.
[00:03:46] Speaker C: That's a hug.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: That was the best. I was not expecting it, and it was everything I needed and more. I was like, ah, what a joyous, joyous time.
I need everyone to check out all the things that you write and do and are a part of, because it has also been like, you're one of the people who, whenever I'm having, like, a big existential life question about whatever's happening in the world, I feel like you're a person I can go and, like, bounce that conversation off of, too, from everything from what we did during, like, the Black Lives Matter movement. We did some partnership stuff to now with everything going on in Palestine and Israel. And just, like, being able to talk to you has been such a joy. So I just need everyone else to, like, absorb some of your wisdom in whatever way feels good to them. So again, we mentioned your two podcasts, your sub stack. My people you want to hear from Sarah Bonds is all I'm saying.
[00:04:37] Speaker C: That's generous. Thank you.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: It's. It's generous and it's true. So I'm really excited to talk to you about today's topic that you picked around the good life and us defining that for ourselves. I think a great place to start is when you. We got on and you said you're having a luxurious day, and I'm like, what does that. What does that look like for you? Because I think everyone's form of luxury is very different. So let's start. Let's start there.
[00:05:03] Speaker C: Well, honestly, today my life feels luxurious because I. Over the span of the last, like, week, I've had two very tense conversations with people in my life who owed me Money and that I have worked with. And like, I do a lot of freelance and consulting, writing and fundraising. And for some reason, people are very delayed, often in paying their invoices.
And it's just a struggle, my little team of people. Right. So I don't have, like, legal department to chase you down.
So what I'm feeling luxurious about is that I asked for real time with these people. I got it. I came prepared with facts and with an open heart and generosity. Like, if this is hard for you, let's talk about that. But don't just, like, pretend you're not getting my invoices.
And they were both paid yesterday.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: That is luxurious.
[00:06:00] Speaker C: It is.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: Because I don't. I think everyone thinks consulting is just like, you make your own schedule and you get to decide who you want to work with. I'm like, no, you are everything. You're hr, you are finance, you are billing, you are all the things. And you have people who, like, I do consulting. It's just me. But you do consulting and you have people who are responsible for. I'm like, pay the invoices. I did my work. Pay my invoice.
[00:06:26] Speaker C: Yeah.
And as a, as a fellow rainmaker fundraiser, I just take it so seriously. The asking, like, the moving of the money that I asked for people. I ask people for money all day long for other stuff. Right, Right.
Right now I'm raising money for Palestinian led organizations in Gaza. I'm raising money for a queer and trans focused summer camp in Texas. I'm raising money for this incredible black funded or founded and run Doula Collective in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Like, this stuff matters to me. These people make a big difference in the world.
It's easy to ask for money for other stuff. Right? So I feel just like, so seen and heard and validated when I'm like, hey, I did this really awesome work for you. The exchange was you pay me money so I can, I don't know, get my dental work done and like, I don't know, go out to lunch tomorrow.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: Feed your family, you know, wild, wild expectations.
[00:07:35] Speaker C: But, like, going back to, like, what does luxury feel like to me? Like, I'm 50 years old, turned 50 this year, which feels fabulous, by the way. Those of you who aren't there yet, you're gonna love it. It's great.
A midlife is a luxury that a lot of people are not afforded. And so I feel. So it just feels luxurious to arrive at this place in my life where, like, I know who I'm married to. I've been married to this person for 17 years. We're not, like, finding out about each other anymore. This is it, right? So we are.
[00:08:07] Speaker A: We're in it.
[00:08:08] Speaker C: We're in it. And we are doing a good job today. Right now. Check in in, like, a couple weeks may have changed, but, like, today's a good day in the marriage. The kids are safe and loved and thriving. All of our parents are safe and okay. Our siblings seem to be doing all right. I mean, that's luxury. You know, just safety. In my. In my circle, so many people don't have it, and we. We seem to think it's something. I mean, we should all have it. We should be entitled to it, but that's not so. So many people's lived experiences. So on a day that, like, I got paid, I got heard, I am safe, I am loved. That is luxury.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: I also want to note that your teenage children are very cool people as well. I know it's not important, but to me it is, because I feel like I've known them for long enough now. I'm like, they're actual, like, people people. And I'm like, oh, my God. But they're also like, the two of the coolest dudes ever.
[00:09:08] Speaker C: So cool. I cannot even handle it.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: The fact that the rowing thing really sent me last week. Of course. Of course your children do rowing because it's. For those of you who don't know Sarah's kids, it is. They have always been like. I feel like they've always been similar, but also have their own trajectories at the same time. So for both of them to do rowing is. I think that's why it's cracking me up, because they're just so different. But for both of them to love rowing, I'm like, sure.
[00:09:35] Speaker C: Of course, I'm not sure. The younger loves it, but he doesn't fight us, so we'll take.
[00:09:40] Speaker A: Is he good at it?
[00:09:41] Speaker C: Yeah, they're both great.
We were. We were talking yesterday about, like, what they inherited. So actually, I'll. We'll talk about my children for three minutes. Give me three minutes, and then we'll stop. So I was driving him home from practice last night, and the older one's like, when I get married to whoever I get married to and we decide to have kids, I'm going to make sure that the person I partner with is an athlete. They've got to be an athlete. This is a kid who two years ago was not an athlete, by the way. Not an athlete.
Such an athlete.
And the other kid also was like, yeah, that's really important. And I was like, guys, maybe you want to partner with somebody who's different than you, because, like, then, you know, there's other things to do.
They bring new things into your life. No, no. Athletics. It's all about athletics. And we started talking about which side of the family they got the athletics from, which is my part. My. All of my cousins and uncles all went to college on athletic scholarships. I did as well. And, like, sports, like, being physical is really fun. And then part of our, like, our DNA, I guess. So we were just talking about that yesterday, and I was like, it's finally happened, like, with every iteration of parenthood. In summary, I see a piece of myself in them that I am continually surprised and just, like, so thrilled to see.
And it's just. That is one of my favorite parts of parenting. Who knew I would have readers? Who knew I would have athletes? Who knew I would have kids who love to travel? Who knew I would have kids who, like, organize? They organize.
I love watching them just come up with these strategies to bring their people together. It's a blast, guys. Adolescents gets a bad rap, but I'm here to tell you, it's fun.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: When you were telling me that they were watching the debate for their debate class, and I was like, of course they were. That's on brand.
[00:11:40] Speaker C: Well, we've always watched, I mean, since we took our first launch. So we're also road trip warriors in our family. That is something that definitely feels luxurious, that we have the time and the space to travel by car, which is my preferred. I mean, I would swim everywhere if I could second take a car.
But we take really long road trips in the summer, the kids and I. My husband, their dad, is a special needs pediatrician, so he often has to be in a clinic, but when he can get away, he comes with us. But I have designed my life, which is another luxury, to be able to be with them a lot in the summer. So we take these epic, epic road trips. And the first one we took, I think they were 5 and 6, and we drove from Texas to Quebec, and it was. There were just these moments of pure bliss. I mean, obviously there were hard moments, too. It's a road trip with small children. But there are just a lot of choices that we've made along the way as parents that, like, we want to enjoy these. Hanging out with these people who are the kind of people we enjoy hanging out with. Let's offer this up to them and see if they're game. And a lot of the time they are. Which is just freaking great.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: Yeah. I also want to just, like, tell people if you can drive places, I think people truly forget how large the United States is so big. And as a person who has done a bunch of solo road trips multiple times, like, I've done the Connecticut to Texas trip three or four times now, both back, like, back and forth, like, round trip wise. I did the Texas to Colorado trip one, one, like, one round trip myself once. And obviously growing up in New England, my whole life of going up and down the east coast, like, was really important. So whenever anyone's like, how do you just drive for, like, hours on end? I'm like, oh, I get some of my best thinking done. I listen to some of the best books when I'm in the car.
[00:13:34] Speaker C: I'm like, so this is another way in which I know I'm living the good life is also, I have a new driver, so our oldest is. No, I know, I know. Sorry to break your heart further with the reality of how big and old they are. But. So the older one, this, this summer's road trip, he and I drove home from New England alone and he did all the driving. He drove for five days.
And girl, I'm here to tell you, it was harrowing. It was harrowing. There was much screaming on my end and much of him being like, mom. Having a. Having a freaked out, stressed out passenger is very bad for the driver.
Yeah, I know. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying.
[00:14:18] Speaker A: Good for him for naming that too. I love you, but you're stressing me.
[00:14:22] Speaker C: Well, we have this. We have this real lovely moment. So we drive an electric vehicle. So also, that is a different cadence to a road trip.
[00:14:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:29] Speaker C: Like, you can only go so far. You have to stop, and then you have to be there for a while. Also a great way to experience the country because you're not just like pulling off at a gas station for 10 minutes in Tennessee and that's all you see. Right. Like, I am in rural Tennessee at a Walmart for an hour and a half while my car charges and I'm just wandering around talking to the people.
So in one. And Walmart has really tapped into the EV market. Like, that's where the fast chargers are, as in Super Walmart parking lot. Yeah.
[00:14:59] Speaker A: Who knew?
[00:15:00] Speaker C: I don't know. They also are the highest seller and distributor of organic produce in the country. So like Walmart.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: Oh, not to be a nerd, but this is, this is why those two grocery stores are trying to merge, to compete with Walmart.
[00:15:13] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:15:13] Speaker A: But that's a different tender for a different day.
[00:15:15] Speaker C: So I'm, like, wandering around a Walmart. I think I was in Kentucky, actually, and we've just had, like, a very harrowing almost run in with a Ford 150.
We made it. Everybody was fine. But it. There was a moment where I was not okay. So Naz, my older kid, is, like, hanging out, having a picnic, like, tailgate picnic. And I'm wandering the Walmart, like, calming down, and I noticed this sale, like, sale, sale, sale, sale, sale rack, like, back in the backpack. And there's a Care Bear on it. Do you remember Care Bears?
[00:15:50] Speaker A: Of course.
[00:15:51] Speaker C: Okay, so there's a Care bear for, like, $3. And I was like, I'm buying this Care Bear. Obviously, I need this Care Bear right now in my life very badly. So I walk out to the car and as is, like, we're still, like, working through our feelings about each other about the last stretch of the drive, and I come back to the car and I like, show him the Care Bear, and he's like, okay, why? And I was like, this is our new passenger, and he is here so that I don't scream at you. I will scream at the Care Bear. The Care Bear can handle it. When I need to grab something, I will grab the Care Bear. And he is just going to be. He, she, it. They. They're going to be the. The container of all of the emotion pumping through this car. So Naz named the Care Bear, sir, loves a lot.
And the Care Bear lives in the car still because Naz is still. You know, he's got a couple more hours on the driving, and then we'll pass it over to Bodhi, the next kid that we teach to drive in a year.
But, yeah, I've got this kid that I'm also hopefully instilling this love of. Of road tripping. And because it is just such an amazing way to, like, work through stuff in your own head and feel the distance between you and a situation.
Nature in this country, like, the. What makes me feel patriotic about being an American is, are the national parks is the nature. It's just, I mean, you know, we took it, but here we are, and we get to enjoy it and hopefully can be good stewards of it.
Yeah, the beauty. You get to see seasons and weather. I love a road trip, guys. I'm here for it. That feels like the good life. A road trip.
[00:17:41] Speaker A: Yeah. I did the. I forgot my friend was moving from Seattle back to Florida, so I flew to Seattle, and so we did Seattle, like, Idaho, which I need everyone to understand how beautiful Idaho is. And no one talks about it. And I'm like, it is gorgeous Idaho.
[00:17:59] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:59] Speaker A: And then we came down through, like, Utah and New Mexico. We stopped at Zion. We stopped a horseshoe bend. Like, just.
I was like, I need more people to just, like, get outside.
[00:18:09] Speaker C: I write just go outside. Go outside. Especially now that we're in. We're almost in the season. I mean, maybe other people listening to this podcast will be in a different season. We're still in hot season. The pits, AKA summer, will be cooler. And get out there and see it. Go for a walk in a place you've never been.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: Mm.
[00:18:33] Speaker C: I love new places.
[00:18:35] Speaker A: Yeah. But, yeah, like, that. That is the good life. And like, I like to talk about, like, the road trips. Like, I have learned. I had. I have therapy every other Wednesday with my therapist, Brittany, and we were recently talking about my growth in the last year, specifically, and how she's like, I've really watched you really blossom into your secure attachment style, which I felt like I, like, won a gold medal yesterday in therapy.
[00:19:01] Speaker C: Yeah, you did.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: Thank you.
But, you know, I was reflecting of, like, how the work I've done to get here. And, you know, I got a new job, so I'll be moving back to Connecticut, which is really exciting, which. Which feels like the good life for me, which I'll talk about in a second.
But I think I'm going to drive my car back with one of my best friends. He's going to fly in, and we're going to drive together.
But the. The road trips I've taken with other people and with myself, like, getting comfortable with silence, getting comfortable, like, listening to new things I have now. I was always, like, a solo processor, but it's mostly in my head. But if I'm alone in the car, I now say it out loud and I'm an external processor that way.
And like you're saying, like, the independence, the self trust that you figured things out. Like, I have. I feel like taking road trips taught me so much about myself, and it was. It's for sure a luxury to be able to do, because whenever I would road trip from either Texas to Connecticut or Connecticut to Texas, I would always stay with friends along the way. So I have a friend in Nashville and I have friends in Philly. Yeah, Those would be my stops, right?
[00:20:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:16] Speaker A: And, you know, being able to get to those parts, you know, get to different places than, you know, you typically live, and they get to explore for a little while because I would stay for the night with them or maybe a day or two and get back on the road. But getting very aware of, like, your surroundings and what you do and, you know, naming that, like, as a black woman in America, driving through the south was, you know, a little bit of a thing I had to get over, if you will.
But it was interesting because it's like the amount of people who would show up for me in those moments, either staying with friends or people I met along the drive or people who would be like, well, call me in this hour. We could talk for this hour. So, you know, I can check in with you. And my family has my location. So it is this really beautiful experience, too, of, like, just being in this little tube of metal and just getting to, like, be aware because you're. You can't look at your phone because you're driving. You know, you can't be reading unless you're listening to, you know, things. But, yeah, like, I listen to this day. Like, I will re. Listen to old podcasts I love. So I'm not alone. It was just. I just want more people to like me to do that because there's just so much that I think we miss when we're. And I love flying. I will get on a plane anywhere. But the moments I get to, like, be on a train or drive in a car, I just feel like that's my, like, peak luxury as well. Like just being aware of my surroundings in a way I don't get to. On the day to day when I'm, like, in a rush. Yeah.
[00:21:42] Speaker C: I think part of what the good life feels for me right now, which is maybe sort of counter to what I would have thought when I was like, 20, is that slowness feel.
[00:21:53] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
[00:21:54] Speaker C: You know, I just feel like I've actually got apparently some sort of, like, astrological thing happening right now. That kicked off for me in 2008, which is when I had my first kid. And the first couple times I heard that in my ear from the. Some of the astrology that I listened to, they were like, in 2008. And I was like, what? What happened? I don't know. Did something happen in 2008? And then I got, like, struck by lightning and was like, oh, that time I, like, lost my identity and became this whole. Didn't, like, it was like a crack, right? Yeah, like a new identity was formed.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: Your nesting doll open.
[00:22:34] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. That's. That's a beautiful image.
And so apparently there's some sort of astrological thing for me right now. That's coming. Sort of circling that. And it feels so spot on in the sense that I have now roommates as much as they are children.
And the last thing I'll say about this road trip, unless you want to keep talking about it, which I could talk about all day, is that for people who are feeling disconnected from their teenagers, we all know that the good stuff happens in the car. Like, when you've got them all in there and you're driving them to the movies or a party or the mall or whatever, that's when the good stuff happens. So, like, if you can get your teenager in a car, they will. Eventually, you will get out of cell service. They will not be able to look at their phone anymore, and they will start talking to you, and then they will not shut up.
And it is magic and medicine and everything.
It's so fun.
[00:23:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I want to. That's. The slowness is one of the major reasons why moving back to the Northeast.
And I. I think the. Obviously, the pandemic was terrible and awful, and we, you know, we lost many people, but I got to slow down for the first time in my life ever, especially living here in Austin. I was always doing something. I was never home. Like, we used to joke that, like, my apartment was just storage where I happened to sleep. Like, I was never. I was never home until the pandemic, and I was living alone. It was a lot of time for me to, like, process and figure out who I am and slowness. And then, you know, started coming out slowly. And, you know, now I'm kind of like, I don't really go out like that anymore. I go to the same. I go to the two same bars I go to all the time. Unless, like, someone's, like, recommend something else. I'm like, I don't want to think about it. Like, I want to go somewhere that I know, and. But moving back to Connecticut is my opportunity of making myself slow down. And if I need the fast pace of, like, New York or Boston, I can go visit. But I just, like, as a single person in Austin, I feel like I have to be out there doing things or being involved, and I don't want to. And so I am kind of like that, too. Like, I look for slowness. I am in this. This zone now of, like, I think I want to have children in, like, the next five to six years.
[00:24:57] Speaker C: Oh, my God. Be so good at that.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:25:00] Speaker C: So being able for you.
[00:25:02] Speaker A: Oh, great. I'll just ship my kids back down.
[00:25:05] Speaker C: To Texas, stay with you for a Couple weeks.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: Oh, you know what? Better choice. Better choice, absolutely. But, you know, taking this time because my aunt always says, like, you know, before you have a kid, like, do everything she. And she wasn't saying as, like, you can't do anything when you don't have. When you do have kids. It's just like, be really selfish in this time. And so I am in the luxury part of my life of, like, I can be selfish. I can move every year if I want to. I can. You know, I moved home to Connecticut for six months a couple years ago, didn't like it, moved back here. I was like, no, this doesn't feel right. I'm going to move back. And, you know, that luxury too. Like, I am single with no children and no pets. So I get to just like, pick up and go. And that is very luxurious to me of I get to be very particular about the things I do and don't want and also what I do and don't want to do.
So, yeah, this is my moment of choosing slowness and creating space for this next chapter that I want to flow into, which feels really luxurious right now.
[00:26:07] Speaker C: Well, congratulations, and I'm proud of you. Good job for all of that.
[00:26:12] Speaker A: Thank you. And it's funny, I moved here when I was 26 and people like, yeah, go do it. And then, you know, then I moved. I moved back home for a little while and then people had feelings about that. And then I've gotten to a point in my life too. Like, I truly have stopped caring with other people thought. I mean, I never really cared. But now, like, I just truly don't care. And I think that's. Like, you talked about turning 50. Like, when I turned 30, all my went out the window. I was like, you don't get to have feedback on my life because I am the one living it.
[00:26:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:50] Speaker A: And so many people have so many opinions and so many things to say. And I'm like, it is a luxury to be this therapist and be this, like, secure in myself of, like, my job is not to please anyone but myself. Like, I have to make myself happy first. And that means disappointing people and setting boundaries and doing all these things that I'm really, like, happy to have gotten to in a way that I see a lot of, like, my friends who are my same age struggle with, especially if, you know, my friends who are also single of trying and trying and trying. And I'm like, I'm just. I'm okay. Like, I. I truly feel like the girl who's like, it's gonna have to like, come knock on my door because I just like, I, I want the luxury of it being simple. Like, I don't believe that, like, falling in love and finding your person should be this much work. I also romanticize the 90s of like, someone setting me up or like someone calling me on the phone. But I'm just like, I just, it could all be so, so simple, but I'm like, I'm just, I'm looking for simple and slow in that form of like, a relationship that just feels like a friendship that sparks into something else. Like, and I'm just creating space for that. I'm not, I'm not fighting it anymore. I'm not like, running to it out of, out of fear anymore. And that feels really luxurious at 34. To be like, if I find partnership and fall in love and have kids, great. But also the life I live now and the direct trajectory I'm on right now as a single person is also great. And I think that's also a therapized luxury that I've gotten to for myself.
[00:28:22] Speaker C: A little jealous of you having that kind of 30 something experience. I think if, like, my family were to hear me, like, hear this, what we're talking about, what I'm about to say, they'd be like, shut the fuck up. Can I swear on this podcast, please? Of course they like, I, I have, I think, also been a person who was not particularly, like, highly motivated by other people's opinions, but they did matter to me.
And I'm not sure it was like on the micro as it was like in the macro. Like, I had this idea of what, like, the life that had been made for me by my ancestors who worked so freaking hard to get me to where I can have all the choices that I have. I felt a lot of responsibility to do right by that on what they would have thought was right by that.
And I guess maybe it was in my 30s where I started to spend more time thinking about what I wanted separate from what everybody else wanted for me.
And then when I was in my mid-30s, I had children and then that, that didn't. What I wanted mattered very little.
[00:29:44] Speaker A: For a little.
[00:29:49] Speaker C: I think that people, your, of your generation are doing a much better job of this. You're, you're, you're just getting around to it a lot faster.
[00:30:04] Speaker A: I think it's a lot of therapy. I think there's, there's that conversation too of, of.
I think my generation's in this very interesting place of like, we knew life before The Internet. And also, like, we've also been perpetually online for, like, 10 years. Like, we were there at the precipice of it. So we know what it is like to live in the real world. And also we know that, like, everything online is, like, mostly stage and, you know, the highlight reel.
[00:30:34] Speaker C: Yeah, I think.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: And I think the other ones of.
[00:30:36] Speaker C: Us are like, we're late to that part of the story.
I got my first email address when I was 28.
I had my first cell phone that I left at home on a charger because I didn't want to carry around me. When I was 30, I did not get on social. I got on social media when I had my first kid. I started a Facebook page. So I was 34.
So I feel like I'll just be for myself. I will not speak for my entire generation, as I have not been selected to do so.
It has been very hard for me to tell the difference between the life that happens virtually and the life that I live, like, here in my. In my. In my body. Does that. I don't even know. Two things.
[00:31:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:31:29] Speaker C: No different.
Which is one of the reasons I think I was so, like, susceptible to the. The damaging parts of social media. I got off all of that stuff. I shut down Instagram and Facebook three years ago and just feel like so more myself. My relationships feel like the ones I want to have.
I have a lot of envy, like, lifestyle envy. And so that was. Was a hard place for me to be because it just looked like everybody else was winning and I was not winning. When I am fucking winning every day, I am winning.
[00:32:05] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:32:06] Speaker C: And now I don't. Like, there's no. There's nothing to dispute that. Like, it's just my own experience. And I know it's great, and I'm the only critic of it, and. But so maybe that's one of the reasons you guys are getting to this faster, is that, like, you've. You've lived almost equal parts off and on.
I also feel like my generation, we've been not very discerning. Like, we just drank from the fire hose of the Internet, and we didn't know about.
I don't know, we didn't know how to make boundaries, and we didn't know how to use it sometimes. We didn't know that you shouldn't put naked pictures of your babies on Facebook. And, like, that would be something that when they're teenagers, they're, like, mortified about. You know, like, that just did not occur to us. Most of us.
[00:32:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:59] Speaker C: And so good job, y'all. Thank you for getting there faster.
[00:33:04] Speaker A: I think it's also too, of, of having been on and offline and I think this is like one of the luxury parts of my life of in therapy, parts of my life of like, I used to be a people pleaser, but in the way of like, I didn't want to disappoint anybody, even if it meant disappointing myself. Like, I wouldn't do X, Y and Z, even though I really wanted to. I pushed back moving for a long time because I was like, what if, what if someone gets sick and I'm not here? Like, it was all these things of like, of people pleasing and self imposed guilt. And then I, and then one day I was like, you get one life, this is yours. You get to decide what it is and what it looks like. And I think it then has fed into like we were talking about like the online presence and the luxury. You know, I get to. I've been trying to be one of those people online who, who shares the, the good and bad. I think everyone or folks who just share the good are doing a disservice. And so like now like I got really good about like the follow and the unfollow and like removing people just being like, this isn't a good relationship. Like, we don't have one. Like, it is Internet based. Like, I don't know you, I don't know you. And like, and if I do know you and I don't want to watch your stuff, I can also remove that. Like, I. A friend of mine, Brittany, who is Instagram blogger person who I know you know, in real life, we're actual friends. She just moved from here, but she made a good point one years ago about following people online.
And like, if like say you and I followed each other and then I decide to unfollow you, it is the kindness to remove you as a follower. Because she's like, don't make the assumption that anyone is like a fan of yours or there to stroke your ego. Like, no one owes you that connection. Even online. It's like I have now been like going, I purge my Instagram ever so often. I'm like, if we haven't spoken in years, I don't believe in following any from anyone before, like college, if we haven't had a conversation or if I just don't like your content anymore, I'm just like, no, I'm good. Like, I don't need to have it pop up on my feed. And also if I just happen to randomly follow you because you have a large following. But I don't really like what you're posting. I also don't owe you that. So I think, like, you're saying too, like, the luxury of having to. Having been able to do that internal work of, like, this is another space that I get to curate for myself. I think it's like, going to, like, going home. Like, if I don't like this picture but hanging behind me, I can take it down. That's how I also look about, like, being online.
And I am sometimes the worst person in my generation because I'm also like, I don't. I ebb and flow. Like, what I post and what I don't post. Like, I'm like, I don't feel like I don't want to share that. Like, I just want to be in the moment. I. I'm the person who takes, like, one picture at a concert. I'm like, I'm just gonna enjoy the concert. Like, I don't want to hold my phone. I don't want to record it. I just want to have this one experience.
[00:36:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:08] Speaker A: And then go like, like. Like they have the. The camera. Like, the camera free or the phone free. Wedding ceremonies. That's kind of how I live my life. Like, if the picture happens, great. I have hired people to take photos. You guys get to just be here and enjoy it. And that's how I feel about my life. And I'm like, I just get to be a person who enjoys it and I don't have to capture it for it to have happened.
[00:36:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:34] Speaker C: I remember the first trip I took after getting off social media. We went to Egypt and obviously a very, like, with our kids on camels and at the pyramids and on the Nile. And like, there were a lot of moments that I, like, previous Sarah would have put all over the Internet. And it's crazy, Brie, because I found myself, like, looking at my children in front of the pyramids and seeing, like, an Instagram frame in my mind. Right? Like, oh, that would. That would. That would. It took me a remarkably long time to stop thinking about how to frame my life.
[00:37:14] Speaker A: Forever.
[00:37:15] Speaker C: People. Even when I wasn't doing it anymore.
And I am proud to say I don't do that anymore. Now I just. Now I have to. I have to be like, oh, shit, we didn't take a picture. Somebody take a picture.
And that. That I kind of love. I kind of love. But I'm also. We have the loss. We had a loss in our community two years ago. Some very dear friends of ours lost their teenage son in a car accident.
And so now I feel like, you know, I felt it sort of existentially before, but now I feel it very like I want. I don't delete voice memos, I don't delete voicemails.
I try to remember to take a picture when I'm with people in case something goes sideways and I don't see them again.
There, there is this gift to this little like, timepiece that we carry in our pockets everywhere we go that it can, it can be a capsule of our, of our lived experience.
And to your point, like, I no longer allow people and places and experiences into that time capsule that don't work for me.
[00:38:26] Speaker A: Yeah, you, you saying that about like the Instagram picture in your mind with the child, with your kids.
I have, my four nephews are all in Connecticut, which is also a big reason I'm moving home. Because nothing slows you down like a teenage kid wanting to talk to you. Like, if my, my nephew who is going to be 16 is like, hey, can we talk? Every undivided attention, what do you need? Like, nothing else exists in this moment. What do you need? And so it's him. He has brothers, the twins are nine and then the baby is two.
And so whenever I'm home, I was home with the baby a couple weeks ago, he's 2 years old. Like, he's moving, he's getting into things he shouldn't get into. But he's also in that stage now that he just like wants to be up under you, which is like Chef's kiss. I just the cutest little two year old. I might be biased, but he's so cute.
But he just also, he's absorbing so much. Like, I would work whenever I was home and so he would sit in my lap at my laptop and go, auntie, I working. And I'm like, okay, it's fine. My heart isn't breaking in a million pieces.
[00:39:32] Speaker C: It's fine.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: But like, just take a, just taking a quick picture of him and then like putting my phone down. Like, I can't half the time tell you where my phone is when I'm home. So I'm like, I am so present.
And I think about that like having just worked at a preschool, as a person who's thinking about having children, I'm getting into the habit now of not being distracted because kids are. It's so quick. Like, as a person who nannied for a long time too. And the last family I nanny for when I started their kids youngest was three, and now she's a freshman in high school. And I'm like, what is happening? But like, that just knowing that it truly does fly. And I just, like, I want to absorb every single moment I can. And, you know, that's with children, that's with my friends. Like, my friends who have kids, my friends who have gotten married in our friend. In the length of our friendship. I'm just like, I just want to be aware. And I think, you know, as a person who has so many friends, it is a. That's a luxury I don't take for granted too, of, like, the moments I get to be a part of.
[00:40:34] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:40:34] Speaker A: And like, you're saying remembering to take a picture when we. When we do. Like, there's always one friend who's like, we have to take a picture. And then we're like, okay, phone's away. Like, that's like our unwritten rule. Um, but. Yeah, I just.
Yeah, like, I just. I. Because I think we can just all get so distracted and just like, be in our phone. And I laugh because I live at Drinkwell, the bar up on North Loop. I was there Tuesday night and last night, and one of the bartenders, Casey, who I love, he. They have a TV there, but the TV doesn't get cable, so it's only like, whatever's on streaming. And last night he put on Tremors from 1990.
[00:41:12] Speaker C: That is this kid's favorite movie.
[00:41:15] Speaker A: And when I.1, I've never seen it, so it's funny because it's me. And I'm sitting at the bar and it's probably me and half the people at the bar just staring at this TV and having a conversation about this movie, that's amazing. But being able to, like, not be on your phone and be president. And last night I was like, this is such a beautiful experience to share. And, like, one of the people who walked in happened to be a friend of mine, hadn't seen in a while. It's like we're sitting in that corner and I'm like. He's like, what year is this from him? So I go in and I Google and we look that and like, we're having a full. One of the bartenders had never seen us. Now the three of us are also taught. It was just a. A moment that I feel like is so fun and truly being present. Like, because there's no sound is. We're reading the subtitles. Watching this movie.
[00:41:59] Speaker C: Yes, of course.
[00:42:00] Speaker A: Yeah. So it was just like. It was just this very Specific shared human experience of, like, getting to be present in a way that I feel like if I was just on my phone scrolling and looking at something else, I wouldn't have even had this back and forth with them. So it's all. It's that too.
[00:42:18] Speaker C: I love that.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, if anyone can go to drink while I'm telling you, best. The best bar in all of Austin, if you ask me. I might be biased, but it was delightful.
[00:42:27] Speaker C: I have, I have returned to this habit that I. Or habit, that's not the right word. Like a pastime of when I was a teenager, of inviting friends over to watch tv. And it's also really fun.
[00:42:39] Speaker A: Love that because.
[00:42:40] Speaker C: Okay. Another way in which I feel like I'm living the good life is television. Like, there is so, so much tv. Incredible television. I don't ever need to leave my house. And I love stories and.
[00:42:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:55] Speaker C: Oh, my God, just so much fun. Beautiful, instructive, heart opening. Love it.
And so I do that now. Like, I. I have friends and yeah, I have, like, I like, I watch a lot of, like, fantasy and science fiction and is it. It is a great time for that kind of content right now. And it's just so fun to have a friend over. We have like, also I have a very amazing television. We have one of those projectors.
[00:43:27] Speaker A: I said the projector tv. Yeah, I know the. I know the projector tv.
[00:43:33] Speaker C: Who needs the movie theater? It's my living room.
[00:43:35] Speaker A: Right.
[00:43:37] Speaker C: And that is a really. I really love.
And we have a rule in our house. This like, thing we say like one screen at a time, right? So like, if you're in, if you're watching tv, you don't get to get on your phone if you need to. Like, we have a. We have a charging station in our dining room where all of the devices go. I love that we do a very, like, low key, non traditional Shabbat that starts like Friday evening ish and last till Saturday evening ish. And you know, we'll go to the movies and we'll watch TV together, but we put our phones away. And especially with these teenagers, like, it's just so essential that they get good sleep. And they are, you know, they're. They're managing their own friends around it. Our oldest is in a punk band that practices at our house every other Friday, of course. And the rule is, like, I was like, okay, great, they can practice here, but they have to stay for dinner. Like, that's the rule. And so they love. I mean, I'm clearly I am not trying to convert anybody to Judaism here, but, like, they stay for Shabbat and everybody puts their phones down on the. And to have a dinner for, like, two hours with nine teenagers. This is what it ended up being last time. So smelly. I'm here to tell you. It was very smelly and very loud. Two of them, I don't think, had even shirts on, but, you know, not a phone in sight. And so funny and curious and open up for it. Nobody balked when I was like, we started this everybody put your phone over here rule when the kids were our kids. Relate to these, to the phone game. They got phones for their bar mitzvahs. They were the last kids in their social circles to get them.
But when kids started showing up at our house with phones, I would say, let your parents know you're going to be away from your phone. Please text them. They can tell they can call if they need something. But in our house, when we have guests over the phones go over here so that we hang out together. No one has ever been weird.
[00:45:46] Speaker A: I love that.
I love that. Yeah. My. The. The twins are nine, like I said, and whenever they have a friend over, like, it is so easy for them to either, like, be on a video game or be on a tablet. But if they come to me and, like, can we play a board game? I'm like, absolutely. Like, do you want to watch a movie together? I'm like, absolutely. Like, I do not take that for granted. Because I'm like, one day I'll lose them to the screens.
[00:46:11] Speaker C: You won't, though.
[00:46:12] Speaker A: But now you're saying that. I'm like, I don't know if we would, like, I think because I think about, like, us as, like, the older of us. Like, me and my. And my God siblings. Whenever we're all together, we will do that. Like, we'll still put our phones away and play a game or watch a show. Like, my God sister and I. She had already watched the first two seasons of the Bear, but I had never. And so we watched the first. She. She watched the first two seasons of the Bear with me. I'm on season three right now. No spoilers. We're also first episode. Though I did watch the first episode of season three.
[00:46:41] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:46:42] Speaker A: I.
[00:46:43] Speaker C: The most beautiful TV I've ever seen.
[00:46:44] Speaker A: I have never loved a character more life than in the Way of I love Carmi. I just want to hug him.
[00:46:52] Speaker C: Save it for later is one of my favorite songs, the English Beat song that Eddie Venner covers at the beginning of that episode. And when it started playing, I was like, hold on a second. What's. What's happening right now?
They know their audience so well.
[00:47:07] Speaker A: The food. The food stylist for that show is going to be at Austin Food and Wine this year. And I. Her. Her stuff is.
[00:47:13] Speaker C: How do we get. How do we. I want in on that.
[00:47:16] Speaker A: She's. Her stuff is gorgeous. I'm like, oh, my God. And as a person who, like, group comes from a cooking family who loves to cook, I was just like, so the Bear and worked in restaurants for most of my life, I was like, oh. Like, I was in immediately. Anyway, if you haven't watched the Bear.
[00:47:29] Speaker C: Anybody, you please get on really good TV out there. There's this show that, like, I was so late to called Outer Range, which is like this weird time travel western.
[00:47:40] Speaker A: It's so good. That sounds on brand for you, actually.
[00:47:43] Speaker C: Oh, my God. It was perfect. I was like, this is. This is the meaning of my worlds right here. Where has this been? Why am I so late?
[00:47:53] Speaker A: I got yelled at last night by friends because I haven't watched Bridgerton yet. But I'm like. I'm like, you guys, I'm a binger. Like, this. This one season, maybe half a season's out. I'm like, no, because I'm like, I want to just watch a show through. Like, I'm rewatching monk from, like, 2004 right now.
[00:48:10] Speaker C: That's a good one.
[00:48:11] Speaker A: My mom, I loved that show, and I was like, I don't think I've ever finished it. So I started rewatching it, and I'm on season four right now. So it's one. My. My treadmill show. Like, I'll watch when I'm walking the treadmill and. Or I'm like, I need to decompress from work.
[00:48:24] Speaker C: So what's your comfort tv? Like, what is your history?
[00:48:27] Speaker A: Like, your, like, what if, like, comfort show is One Tree Hill? Because I've. I've seen it 7 billion times, very randomly, because now everything is available online. Um, Ina Garden, her TV show from Food Network, the Barefoot Contessa. Okay, that's a comfort show. I just love. I loved her. She was living in the Hamptons with her. Her husband just making these random ass dinners. Like, loved it growing up. I watch. I'll watch her. She got her. She got her. She had a reboot sort of show, too, where celebrities come in and cook with her that I really enjoy. So that I will name all the Harry Potters, obviously.
But, yeah, those will probably be the top three. Like a good cooking show, One Tree Hill, Harry Potter. Oh, and Forrest Gump's my favorite movie. So.
[00:49:17] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:49:17] Speaker A: It makes me laugh. It makes me cry. It's historically. It's historical satire, which I love history. So I'm like, this is fine.
[00:49:24] Speaker C: My comfort TV is the West Wing.
[00:49:27] Speaker A: I have never seen it, but I. You're like, the seventh person this year. Like, you have to watch the West Wing.
[00:49:32] Speaker C: I mean.
Yeah, it's really good. So they just.
Two of the actors on the show just wrote a book that's like a behind the scenes that I had to get through, like, a hard, icky, crispy deadline a couple weeks ago, and my reward was to go buy this book.
Oh, my God, it's so great.
I'm just savoring it. I'm giving myself just, like, one chapter reward anytime I do a thing I don't want to do.
[00:50:01] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:50:02] Speaker C: I love the West Wing. I could probably, like, just reenact all seven seasons for you.
[00:50:09] Speaker A: Great.
[00:50:10] Speaker C: That's how much.
[00:50:11] Speaker A: Oh, you know, I. You saying, like, the sci fi E shows, too. Doctor who. The re. The reboot of it.
[00:50:18] Speaker C: Who's your Doctor, though?
[00:50:23] Speaker A: It has to be Matt.
[00:50:25] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:50:26] Speaker A: And. But I also love the one I can't. The woman Doctor. I can't think of her name right now.
[00:50:31] Speaker C: I liked.
[00:50:31] Speaker A: I like Matt, but Matt. Matt and David are probably tied, but I think Matt always pulls ahead for me because I just really. He was just so joyous. But David had that snark still, like that little grit. Yes.
[00:50:49] Speaker C: I think it's like a very, like. Like a part of the Doctor who like, ethos that other actors tried to embody. That he just, like, really nails.
[00:51:01] Speaker A: Now I'm like, do I rewatch the reboot series? The thing is, the issue was. The issue was I could not stand Rose. Yeah, she drove me.
[00:51:11] Speaker C: I mean, Rose, I'm here as a feminist who wants to see more women in tv, but, like, don't just make us a sidekick, you know, who needs saving all the time.
[00:51:24] Speaker A: Because then every other woman after her was, like, badass. Like, we had Martha. We had.
[00:51:30] Speaker C: Oh, they saved the Doctor a lot of the time.
[00:51:33] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:51:34] Speaker C: I won't spoil it for you, but, like, Rose does have a timeline feature that, like, is relevant.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: So in the new. The only one, I. I'm just. I'm only behind on this current iteration with. With the. With the. I have one episode left of the Woman Doctor because I've been like. Again, I've been like, drawing it out because I Don't want it to be over.
[00:51:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:51:55] Speaker A: Because no spoiler. But like, her last companion, I wanted them to be together in a way that I'm, like, still, like, mourning. Yeah.
But very excited to see this. This iteration with the first black doctor. I'm, like, obsessed.
[00:52:08] Speaker C: He's. He's just playful. He's.
[00:52:11] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:52:11] Speaker C: I wouldn't say there's a lot of mis.
Mischief in him, but he's. I mean, he was just, like, the star of the show in Sex Education. Did you watch that?
[00:52:21] Speaker A: The first couple episodes? And I'll try to give another chance.
[00:52:25] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:52:26] Speaker A: Sex Education. This. This is luxury. Like, giving up. I'm. I'm the same way. Like, one of the reasons I also want to move back to the Northeast is because I want to be snowed in so I could just watch TV for days on end.
[00:52:37] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, one of the things. When I like Bridgerton, for example, like, a new. A new season of a show like, that drops. I file that away, and when I have Covid again, I'll watch that. Or like, when I'm like that.
[00:52:51] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:52:52] Speaker C: Have time to, like, lay on the couch and watch, like, eight hours of television. I wish I did. That would be a great job. I would love that job. If someone would like to give me that job.
[00:53:02] Speaker A: You could be a TV critic. You go start that.
[00:53:05] Speaker C: I have, like, I'm not a very critical TV watcher. I'm just like, oh, my God, that thing. My younger kid, my youngest, is a filmmaker and a screenwriter, and he, like, when he watches tv, he's watching, you know. Oh, did you see that frame? That thing was different. And I'm like, dude, don't. Don't. Don't kill.
[00:53:24] Speaker A: Don't.
[00:53:25] Speaker C: Don't show.
[00:53:26] Speaker A: Don't dissect it for me.
[00:53:27] Speaker C: Thank you so, man. Yeah, that's.
[00:53:30] Speaker A: That's a. That's the thing I never take for granted of, like, TV is. Is a luxury. Especially now when I'm busy. I'm like, if I can find a show that I can just, like, put on and just, like, get into right away, I'm like, okay. I think that's why I'm saving the bear, because I'm like, I really loved it, and I just happened to be on vacation that week, so why. I could watch the two seasons. I watched. We watched the two seasons in, like, three days. Like, we were like. Like, we just sat on the couch and watched.
[00:53:54] Speaker C: Because when I was your age, there were people around. I was one of these people. I didn't have a TV in my all of my 20s, there was no TV in my house. And I took like a lot of pride in that. And I was like, I don't have a tv. I read books.
I mean, honestly, there wasn't a lot of great tv, so I wasn't missing much.
But now when people say like, oh, I don't watch tv, I'm like, well, you are dumb.
[00:54:18] Speaker A: Missing out.
[00:54:19] Speaker C: You know, that is not superior.
You are missing out on some amazing art, and I'm sorry about that.
[00:54:25] Speaker A: And space for conversation. Like, again, tremors from 1990 people. A full half the bar enthralled. I was like, I'm riveted. Because then Reba pops out and I'm like, not Reba.
[00:54:37] Speaker C: It's a shared experience, right? Like, that's like being able to have a truly shared connective tissue kind of moment with other human beings.
Human beings. Not even, I was about to say human beings that you enjoy, but sometimes they're just strangers and you don't know them or not. Right? Like, this is this human out in the world moment. And, you know, to bring us full circle like that feels like the good life to me. To have to be able to slow down, to be thoughtful about where you are and what you're doing and who you're doing it with.
Who knew that that was what actually was the luxury that I was looking for? Turns out, there it is. It was with me all the time.
[00:55:24] Speaker A: I couldn't wrap it up better myself. I will link everything we talked about in the show notes at the end of every episode. I like to end with a sort of palate cleanser question. It's a two parter, so you get to pick which part you want to answer. The question is, what is the best advice you were ever given? Or what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
[00:55:51] Speaker C: Okay, well, two sort of jumped out at me.
[00:55:59] Speaker A: You could do both. There's no rules here.
[00:56:00] Speaker C: I'm going to pick one for one and then the other for the other.
[00:56:03] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:56:03] Speaker C: So when I was just a baby organizer in my late 20s and just like learning one of the mentors that I had said to me, if you are ever organizing alone, you are doing it wrong.
And that is something that I carry with me all of the time. I mean, I'm an extrovert and I like to be with people, but I also really want.
I don't want, like, what I think to be the thing that everybody has to go along with. Like, I am. I am so much smarter and like, my life is so Much richer because of the people that are with me telling me other ways to do things. So that was like not articulate at all. But what I'm trying to get at is don't do it alone.
And then the advice I would give to my younger self is definitely based on all of this sub stack reading I'm doing lately about marriage. And I say this is a really, truly happily married person who never thought they would be married.
So I also never thought my life partner would be a man.
And there's a I I've been trying to figure out, like, is this because I'm 50? Is it because we're like just on the other side of like enough on the other side of this big like 100 year event which was Covid that like sort of ripped everybody open and people are just like not giving a fuck anymore. But there's like a lot of divorce happening.
And I come from divorced people who, God bless them, did the best they could. But there was like a tremendous amount of animosity and hard. It was hard for us was the right thing to do and it was hard. But the better thing to have done would have been not to get married. And so when I decided to, I asked my husband to marry me. We had a high five proposal on a street corner in Las Vegas before going to see Barry Manilow. A little special moment.
[00:58:11] Speaker A: I love Barry so much.
[00:58:13] Speaker C: Between an Ansel Adams exhibit and Barry Mellow, obviously.
And when I told my mom that we were going to get married, she gave me a book called the History of the Wife and with an inscription that just said, make sure you want to do this.
My mother loves my husband, but this institution is, it harms, it harms everybody. And it's a setup. And so as a person who did not need marriage per se to feel like, to feel safe and secure in a partnership, I think if I could give some advice to the younger version of me, it would have been find another way to like codify and celebrate and sort of lock in this partnership that you want with this person. Do not participate in this institution because it just has all of these like lies in it and inequity baked into, into it. And when you participate in it, I think for lots of us, we don't go into it with the understanding that like there needs to be like a real contract, not just like your marriage license, but like, what are we actually doing here with each other? And for people who aren't religious, like, we are not religious. There's no, like, there's none of that here for us. You know, it's really all cultural. And I would say to my my younger self, hey, awesome that you have chosen this person. You will not be bummed. He's the best. Well done.
And be brave and find a way to do this together that allows you both the freedom and the autonomy and the growth that, like humans in partnership, really need.
[01:00:07] Speaker A: That's it for this week's episode of the Tea with Bri. Be sure to follow the podcast on Instagram HEA with Bri. Send me an email at the Tea with
[email protected] or visit the website thetoothbreepodcast.com. you can find me your host, Brianna Jenkins on Instagram at Brianna Jenkins. Don't forget to rate, review and follow on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. A special thanks to Mama Duke for our theme music and I will catch you next time. Bye.
Sa.
