[00:00:09] Speaker A: I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right these people won't let me go I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right these people won't let me go let me grow let me go let me grow, let me go they should know they should know they should know they should know I'm just trying to live my life I just need space to grow I'm just trying to make it right people won't let me go.
[00:00:55] Speaker B: Welcome to the tea with Brie. I'm your host, Bri. Thanks for listening. The TFB podcast is focused on deep, honest and vulnerable conversation. Each week, I sat down with a different guest in order to have those conversations. Every week, I'll start my guest's bio, an intro into how we know each other. And then I'll go into a deep dive conversation about whatever topic they brought to me that week. This week, I am joined again by my guest, Alex Strube. Alex Struby is the owner of Struby Consultants, a successful consulting firm he founded in 2018, serving clients across the finance, medical, technology and real estate sectors. Alex also leads as the head of the board of directors for GVSA. A former sprint instructor of twelve years, his passion for mental and physical wellness extends beyond the bike. In honor of his late dog, Gracie, Alex is dedicated to volunteering at a local rescue shelter where he continues to make positive impact on the community. Hello. Welcome back. Hello to see you.
[00:01:51] Speaker C: It's like I never left.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: You didn't. You've been here the whole time. We never. This is the Brianna and Alex show. We just did. This is our announcement. Everybody, welcome.
[00:02:02] Speaker C: Except I'm the only one with wine.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Oh, I forgot. Okay, hold on. Pause. I gotta get it. You're right. You're right. I've let you down. Hold on.
Let it be known that I almost dropped this wine glass.
[00:02:16] Speaker C: This blooper rail is gonna be so good.
[00:02:19] Speaker B: I truly almost dropped this wine glass trying to run across my fucking apartment.
Also, I don't know who's gonna drink this. I'm gonna drink this bottle of wine by myself for weeks. So, you know, love this for us.
It is 119 in the afternoon. This one is when you're fun, employed kids. There's no rules.
You have a little aunt, little vino in the middle of the day. Who's gonna stop you? You're a grown up.
Why don't I have wine sponsors? This is really. You know, it. I really. I'm really slacking.
AsMr.
Remember, another visual medium the kids have to hear.
All right.
Cheers. We did it.
Oh, you're right. Why don't I drink during the day?
I'm a grown up.
[00:03:31] Speaker C: It's Tuesdays.
[00:03:34] Speaker B: Don't trigger me, please.
I have not gone to a Tuesday in probably, like, five years.
[00:03:42] Speaker C: I know.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: I think about it. I'm like, wow, there was once a time I was young.
[00:03:47] Speaker C: I have, like, four days left to, like, do that.
[00:03:49] Speaker B: Where I was young and youthful. Yeah, tell the kids you just got a new job as of today.
[00:03:54] Speaker C: Yeah, like, an hour ago.
Finance bro.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: Listen. Insert. Insert TikTok sound here. I'm looking for a man in front of me.
[00:04:06] Speaker C: Consultants just landed their biggest, biggest client, so, yeah, we're in the finance world, so.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: Yeah, and we know you'll see a little bit of the video, but I need everyone to know that Alex is in a backwards cap, so he is peak.
[00:04:24] Speaker C: And, like, a baseball peak.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: Finance bro.
[00:04:28] Speaker C: Yeah.
Backwards captain, baseball jersey, the whole nine yards with my american express.
[00:04:37] Speaker B: Scrooge McDuck. Is it Scrooge?
[00:04:40] Speaker C: I think so.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it is Scrooge. Okay, well, for those who don't know, this is your. If you haven't listened to the last two episodes with Alex, we're not. We're back for episode three because Alex had a lot going on. A lot has happened in my life. So we were just catching up before the show. We'll do a little catching up here. And if you're as invested as I have been during this journey of Mister Big and Alex, there may be a light at the end of the tunnel. No spoilers. I'm just saying I'm excited, and I just need everyone to put that same energy out. So do it. That what you will.
[00:05:21] Speaker C: So, yeah, Mister Big and I, we've been in communication.
There's been some texting.
Mister Biggs in a very peculiar situation, and I want to be very respectful of that.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: Wait, before we get into this, for the. If people haven't listened to the last episodes, do a quick overview summary.
[00:05:42] Speaker C: Okay.
Mister Big.
So, Mister Big is my ex, who is, like, the love of my life.
We broke up on weird circumstances, essentially outside forces, kind of, you know, outside opinions, people outing each other, so on and so forth.
Kind of like a carrie and big, you know, everyone is against the relationship, yet they still yearn for each other. Hence why, like, we call him Mister Big.
[00:06:23] Speaker B: I want to just weasel my way in here right now. As a person who never watched Sex and the City, even I know, we're supposed to root for Aiden anyway, but I do root for you, Mister Biggs. I can tell how much you love him. Continue.
[00:06:37] Speaker C: Yes.
And so I will say there's been some communication, there's been some apologies back and forth, some positive communication, positive updates.
But there's still a lot of progress to go. And I think both of us have realized that we are still becoming better versions of ourselves.
And, you know, there's still hope and light at the end of the tunnel.
[00:07:11] Speaker B: We need to take that. I need, we need to. We need to talk about that for a moment.
[00:07:15] Speaker C: Talk about it.
[00:07:16] Speaker B: The becoming better versions of ourselves. Because as you know, when we were catching up before this off air, one of the reasons why I'm. Why I am leaving austin. Spoiler I haven't done an update episode, but hi, I'm leaving is because of dating. Like, I feel like dating in austin is a fucking literal nightmare.
And so when you say the better version of yourselves, I think of all the people I've been entangled with, or I've been in relationships with, of, like, and I was just talking to my therapist about this too. Like, it is even harder to date as a person who has done the work of, like, therapy, moving away, like, really figuring out who you are. And so, I don't know, just when you think of that, like, you, it is okay to walk away from someone or a situation, work on yourself separately, and then decide to come back. Like, I think a lot of people don't know they have that permission to do that. And I'm like, I would rather someone be like, hey, I'm not where you are right now. I need to go focus on myself. We'll circle the wagon.
[00:08:20] Speaker C: And I think it's also realizing, too, like, if you love somebody enough, learn to let them go and go through whatever they need to go through and know that if you're meant to be, it will always come back. And I think if you were to talk to me, even episode one. Right. I was very anxious and I was very like, oh, you know, it was very tough g subject. Right.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Well, I feel like you were, like, holding on for something that you needed to let go. Like, you were just like, this is it. I know this is it. And he's not willing to. And we're all like, let it go.
[00:08:52] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: And then you just, you do. You're like, okay, I'm gonna walk away from it.
[00:08:55] Speaker C: Yeah. And we let it go.
You know, we had the baseball player dated between now and then.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Never forget. I mean, actually forget cause I forget it.
[00:09:06] Speaker C: But, oh, yeah, the baseball player between now and, well, then and now, the nine month baseball player that he dated.
So we'll just, we'll glaze over that one.
But, you know, again, I'm dating. I'm having fun, whatever. Right? But I really focus on introspect, and, you know, we'll talk about the digital detox and kind of, like, why I, like, disappeared from the world for, you know, a while in a little bit. But, you know, I really want to hone in the point of, like, you know, if you love somebody, you have to, like, allow them the time and the space to find their journey. And I hope Mister big hears that and knows that. It's like I'm letting him find his space and journey.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: I wasn't going to share this, but now you've created a space where I feel the need. I feel like I have my own version of a mister big, which we have never been together. We've been friends for a while. Feelings have been expressed, but he is also in a precarious situation, so respectful to his situation, but just, like, venting.
And right now, he's about to make a really big shift in his life, and I'm about to make a really big shift in my life. And so I've been, like, trying to be like, okay, maybe we don't need to talk for x amount of time. Like, maybe, like, he lives in a different place than I do. We're both about to do some traveling. And when we first met, like, instant, like, people like that, when, you know, you know, like, you meet someone, just automatically, this was him and me and I, you know, we've been really lucky to grow our friendship over the years, but now we're in a place of, like, again, therapy, of my therapist being like, he's just not where you need him to be. And my therapist being like, and it is okay for you to set those boundaries. And, you know, we always say in therapy, me and Brittany shout out to Britney of, like, their reaction is not your responsibility. And so a couple weeks ago, I had this conversation with him was like, hey, I've gotten to a point now where I don't even see myself being with you, this version of you. So I'm good. Like, we can be friends, but just, like, the romantic part of things has faded because you're not the kind of partner that I want or deserve. And not, not that people need to, quote, earn you, but, like I said, you need to be a partner of substance, and you should equally match sort of situation, and I just feel like we're not there right now.
And so you saying that about letting it go, I'm like, I'm trying to let him go, but now he's, like, doubling down, and I'm like, no, no. Like, I think this is for the best. Like, I. And maybe we'll come back to each other. Maybe we won't. Maybe we'll just be friends. And who knows? Like, I sadly can't see the future on demand, but, yeah, I just feel like, very much like, we have to not try this. And I don't know if it's, like, just us not talking in general, us, like, setting a boundary, because I'm, like, trying to wean him off of our friendship. Yeah. But, yeah, that just made me think of that, and I'm just like, it is so interesting. Like, when one of you is like, no. Like, this is. It's. It's like that saying, like, I won't set myself on fire to keep you warm. Like, that's not my aesthetic anymore. I'm, like, a full fledged adult with boundaries and who's gone to therapy.
But I think, you know, having talked about how terrible dating is, like, I could lean into this option, but it would not be a good one at this time. And.
[00:12:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: And I don't ever want to come from a place of fear or, you know, there's not enoughness. So I'm like, no, I'm good. Like, you. We'll figure it out.
[00:12:41] Speaker C: You're figured out. I love all of my best friends. I love. I have my goggles, my two different group chats, and all of them give me shit, because, I mean, I'll go on the record to say, I have not had sex in 2024, and I've chosen.
Yeah.
Cheers.
[00:13:03] Speaker B: Cheers.
[00:13:04] Speaker C: Cheers.
And that's by choice. It's by choice.
I've had that gay man I know who's traveled and who's. Yeah.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: You know, trails are clutched.
[00:13:22] Speaker C: And.
And it goes back to, like, an earlier statement where it's just, like, I could fill the voids with, like, dating other people. Right? Like, I thought the baseball player.
Six four.
That italian hunk of meat. You know who I'm talking about?
[00:13:40] Speaker B: You could do worse.
[00:13:41] Speaker C: Yeah. You know I'm talking about. And, you know, he was. Yes, it was. It was great. Well, it was fun, but I was trying to fill a void. Right. And while sex is gratifying, it's not like a.
[00:13:56] Speaker B: It's not fulfilling.
[00:13:58] Speaker C: Yeah. And so for me, it's one of those things where I'm like, all right. Like, I have to, like, go inward, right? And so, yeah, it's one of those things where I've kind of just, like, really taken away distractions in all of that. And I feel like I'm finally at the first time of my life, like, at peace. And that's, like, the most beautiful, gratifying thing than, like, any orgasm or anything, like, any drug or, like, anything in the world could give.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: And I don't think people in our age group talk enough about that.
I have friends and myself who dabble in being sober. Curious. I won't drink for long. Sense of time.
There had been times I just stopped having sex for years on end. And people are like, why? I'm like, I just need a reset.
I just need to one for myself. Of, I don't want to. And again, we're not a slut shaming podcast.
[00:15:02] Speaker C: Do you listen?
[00:15:03] Speaker B: Safe, consenting adults listen at it.
[00:15:07] Speaker C: Before baseball player, it was like a rotating door, in and out.
Yeah, it's just like, body, another body, another body, another body, in and out. Like, I was here for it. It's just we're in a different version this year. Yeah, right.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: And, like, you know, now talking to friends who choose celibacy or choose, you know, to be single or, like, all these things we kind of do to do a reset. And I just think it's not something we talk enough about of, like, the moment of choosing yourself in order to work on yourself and not because, like, I'm doing this, like, proved. No, it's like, I'm doing this thing to, like, be a better me to myself. And so, yeah, I just want to. I want to name that, too. So, like, so many people don't know that the option exists in a way of, like, it could be something really personal, be something you share. Like, I just, like, decided not to have sex this year.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:01] Speaker B: So I'm like, for what? Yeah, also not for nothing.
A lot of people aren't that good at it, so you're better off, I thought. Okay, speaking from personal experience, I found, like, a lot of, like, cis hetero men talk a great game, and I'm like, sir, why? Why did I. Why? Oh, okay, great. No, no, no. Really. No, no, it's fine. No, yeah, no, really glad. Really glad we're both here.
[00:16:30] Speaker C: But, yeah, this is why everybody should just be gay.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: I really am trying. I'm really trying to, like, find a cute queer person I want to be with again, but options are dwindling. It was funny. I was talking to a friend today because another friend of ours is, like, in her twenties and trying to date and hates the apps. And so I was like, girl, it's just different. Like, she's like, well, everyone on the apps is ugly. I'm like, okay. Like, we have our types. Sure. I'm like, I just. For me, it's not even looks like I've gotten to the point at my age of, like, I need to know your, like, your political affiliation. I need to know.
[00:17:10] Speaker C: Like, I need to know your horoscope.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: Sign your full chart.
[00:17:15] Speaker C: Like, I don't care if that gets me canceled. I don't care. Like, people are like, that's stupid. Pop the balloon trend. People are like, pop, pop. Like, no, I need to know.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: There is some validity into knowing people.
[00:17:27] Speaker C: I'm a full blown through and through aries.
Through and through. I'm an aries.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: Yes, I am. Truly, all three of my major signs. Like, I am a perfect mix of the social butterfly of a Pisces who has feelings but doesn't really admit to them. The organizational brand of my Taurus rising and then my chaotic ass sag moon. Like, I am who I am. Like, I am my chart.
But, yeah, so I just. I just need. I just want people to not settle as guesses. What is the tangent I'm on? Yeah, you don't have to just be with someone to be with someone. You don't have to be on the apps if you hate it. Like, I. There's a time I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. Like, right now, I have my apps set for Boston because. Why? Nothing. I had them set for Portland over the summer. So I was like, sure, I might travel, but I'm like, you were allowed to, like, try things, try new adventures.
Listen, in my head. Best friend Sophia Bush is now dating a woman after dating men for, like, most of her life. I'm like, you might. You might learn something about yourself.
[00:18:30] Speaker C: You might switch. I know two of my friends who have switched, who have tapped into the lady bond. I'm boycotting the apps only because.
Only because the last time I was on, a couple months ago, before I, like, kind of went full throttle into this, like, cave hole that I went in.
Somebody swiped with me as a dare, and I was like, what?
[00:19:03] Speaker B: Excuse me.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: I know.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: Grow up, everybody.
[00:19:10] Speaker C: I was like, this twink isn't even cute. It was a drunken swipe. And I was like, this is how I know I need to get off these apps, because if I've lowered my standards to somebody also who swipes on.
[00:19:23] Speaker B: The you know what?
[00:19:24] Speaker C: Sure, whatever.
[00:19:26] Speaker B: There are times sidebar that I'll swipe on someone who I don't find that attractive, but, like, their profile, I think is really fun. And then they don't match with me. I'm like, I was being kind.
[00:19:36] Speaker C: Yeah. So.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: Blocked and blessed. Moving along.
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We need to talk about your digital detox. The cave reset the.
[00:20:36] Speaker C: Because it was a stir.
[00:20:39] Speaker B: You gone for three months. We were like, hello? What is happening?
[00:20:43] Speaker C: Everybody? Like, first off, people thought I blocked them.
[00:20:48] Speaker B: Honestly. Valid.
[00:20:50] Speaker C: And then people were like, are you okay?
[00:20:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:55] Speaker C: And then I. Because I also, like, turned off, like, my find, my phone location. I, like, I, like, went, like, full, like, incognito. And I felt like it was really important to just, like, full blown, like, you know? And so for the first. First two weeks or so, I rarely had contact with anyone.
And I just.
I went to yoga a bunch. And for me, it was like, just stepping into something that I used to love, that I got into when I was in this same kind of mental state in college, right, when I was coming out. And so I was like, all right, this is something that helped me mentally when I was in more or less the same situation, when I was, like, drinking a bunch and, like, just everything seemed to crumble around me when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and, you know, battling, coming out and the repercussions and just so on and so forth. So really grounded myself then. And then, you know, social media is just a fucking highlight reel, right? And so when you're in, like, that place, like, you know, you're saying everybody is in, like, fucking pv or in, like, fucking Miami or in, like, circa parties or other, you know, just surface level dumb shit, right? And so I was like, all right, I need to just get away from everything. And then slowly I started opening up to everyone I started like week by week. I was like, okay, this circle of friends, then the next circle of onion layer friends then, you know what I mean? Then it kind of progressed from there and it kind of took a lot guts to be like, hey, I'm not in a good place right now. It took a lot of like, just the pride, you know? And I was like, I need my friends. You know, for those people who don't know, I'm in the northern part of Austin.
I'm in a big, beautiful 5000 square foot house, but I'm alone right here. You know, my dog passed away in March. You know, that was my companion for eleven years. And so when you're here and you get home, you don't have your companion, you have time to think, right? And then when things are so far away, it's just kind of like, oh, like you're. You just feel super alone, right. And so I want everyone here to, if they take away anything, is just like, it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to like, talk about these things, right. It doesn't make you less of a man or a woman. Right. People don't look at you weird or differently.
And honestly, like, I don't miss social media. I was somebody who was like, oh, I'm insta verified. Oh, I'm like, have to post all the time. I, you know, this. Then the third, what does this picture look like? And like, I went in, and if you look at my social media, I only have 18 posts now. I deleted everything off my social media. I did like a full cleanse off. Like, I am just like, it's weird. I'm almost like this brand new person. And it started with a previous employer and a lot of workplace trauma, which is real, that nobody talks about.
You and I have talked about that offline and that really catapulted a lot of cuts and wounds that I have scabbed over that opened a lot of deeper traumas.
So it was just like a rolling effect. Right. And, you know, when you just kind of smile through the pain and, you know, my therapist, Melissa, is just kind of puts on the PR, Alex. Right.
It's one of those things where eventually you're just tired and, you know, you just say, fuck it, I'm going to be wrong, vulnerable, and I'm tired. I'm going to say the truth. And it's very liberating.
You find so much peace in it because you're not giving up with the Liesen.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: Yep.
And I was when we were talking last night about recording today, and I was, like, updating some stuff for the website and going back of, like, the whole reason I started this show was to talk about, like, vulnerability with, and with conversations I was having with friends as I was outside of, like, yes, I care, like, how your child or your parent or how your job is going, but, like, how are you? And I feel like we so often, like, as friends are like, oh, no, I'm good. Like, things are fine. I'm like, no, no, I can see you're struggling. I can see these things are happening. Like, what is going on? And so, like, I was taking notes as you were talking of, like, when I first moved back here last year, and, like, you found yoga. That's when I got, when I started doing spin again. Like, I, for me, it's spin. Like, I love a good old fashioned spin class. And I always think about, like, the first, is it the first legally blonde one? Elle wood. Yeah. When she drives around looking for a nail salon, that's me. Like, I will find a spin class when I'm unsure of what to do. Right. And that feeling of, like, I'm very much a solo processor, which is why I go to therapy. Cause I'm like, I love my friends. Like, I know they're there. They're there to listen, but sometimes even still, like, I don't want to dump. And that's not how they've ever put it. It just. I've always been a solo processor, which is why I go to therapy every other week. So I'm like, I pay her to listen, so I can't feel bad when I make her listen. Britney's, like, your friends came. Like, I know Britney. We're working on it. Which I've gotten really good this last two years of asking for help anyway.
But thinking about that, too, of, like, we've talked about it, you know, as a society for the last two ish years, two to four years, you know, coming out of the pandemic, which we're still going through, make sure you have your boosters, whatever. Not whatever, get your boosters. Make sure you're healthy, still mask, wash your hands. Nasty. But thinking about how we have seen the pandemic around loneliness, around specifically men who don't have people to talk to, who don't reach out. And, you know, I always laugh because, like, me and my girlfriends, there's four of five of us in a group chat, and then three of them are either married or engaged or have a boyfriend. And so, like, we'll get their three boyfriends together. And they talk. Like, the boys talk. Like, maybe once a month we talk every day. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, you don't talk to your friends. Like, and it's just, like, socially trained. Like, I think it's just different communication ways, but I'm always like, just reach out to each other. Like, you don't have to be going through this alone. Your friends do care.
So you saying that really made me think about that. And then also, like, you're talking about, like, the Instagram, like, break.
I'm like, go outside and touch grass, please. And that's not me being funny. I'm like, truly, get offline.
Go outside, sit in the sun for 20 minutes.
Move your body. Drink some water. Like, don't just be scared staring at screens all day, because it truly will. Like, you're saying it's the highlight, really. You'll get so caught up in comparing your life to other people's life or, like, you should look a certain way or this on the third. And, you know, and I think that's one of the biggest things, like, why I've been sharing this fitness journey I'm on, because I'm like, I don't want people to think, like, it just happened overnight. Like, it took me a year to get to where I am now. I'm like, and it was a lot of, like, getting up and making sacrifices and doing these things, and it's not glamorous.
[00:28:48] Speaker C: It's not pretty.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: I'm like, I don't want to be up at 06:00 a.m. but it's the only time I have to, like, dedicate an hour to do this for myself. And showing that, like, it did shift after I was like, I get to go work out. I love it. Like, I get, I love that hour alone. Like, there's nobody else in the gym. I get to do my videos when no one's gonna walk through it. It's gonna be great. And, you know, talking in therapy, because the reason I started going to Britney is because she's an eating disorder recovering therapist and does other types of therapy. And so we've, it was really important for me to, I've been with her for now almost four years, but our conversations have been a lot about, like, now that my body has changed, what does that mean for me? And it's always like, your value doesn't increase.
You just get to be a healthier version of yourself. But being online, I think so many people. The comparison, like, I say it all the time, the comparison is a thief of joy. Like, if we're all like, I'm not in Puerto Vallarta, I'm not on a yacht somewhere, but who is, like, realistically in the day to day, who has, like, private plane, private jet, yacht money? Like, be serious. And so I think it's that too. Like, you were giving that reminder of, like, take, like, take a step back, assess what is real, ground yourself, and move forward from there. And then, you know that part about the work trauma, I was like, I literally just left a job because of my boss. Loved that job I was in. Loved it. But I could not work for my boss anymore, which I haven't told her. So if she listens to this, surprise, whatever. I mean, truly. But, like, loved that job, loved what I did, loved all my coworkers, loved the kids. Like, that's been the hardest part. Um, but I was like, I just could.
[00:30:29] Speaker C: You have to put yourself first.
[00:30:31] Speaker B: I could not do it anymore. And I told her, like, my mental health is suffering so much being here every day because I have such anxiety having to come in and deal with you.
And our response was like, I hear your mental health is most important, bitch. How about you take some accountability? Anyway, that's a whole different podcast episode. But yeah, I just. All that to say is, thank you for the reminders of, like, put yourself first. It is not selfish to take care of yourself, to go to therapy if you can, to go outside to log off to.
Not worry about posting. Like, I. I always, like, what was it? Like, I romanticize the nineties so much. Like, I miss, like, if I wasn't home, you just had to leave a message and I'll get back to you when I get back to you.
[00:31:09] Speaker C: Like, I miss. I miss it.
[00:31:11] Speaker B: I. Ugh, the landline. Bring back the landline. Like, we really fucked up.
[00:31:17] Speaker C: Like, honestly, just bring back the sidekick. Bring method, t mobile. Sidekick.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Don't trigger me. I think about that. That is my, like, Roman Empire. I think about the fact that I did not have a sidekick at least once a month.
I'm like, or, I love my BlackBerry, though.
[00:31:34] Speaker C: Oh, I did. I did have a BlackBerry.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: I was 18 with a fucking BlackBerry. What did it for? The fucking palm pilot for? Why?
[00:31:41] Speaker C: What BBM might be the Moa message.
[00:31:46] Speaker B: If you know, you know.
[00:31:50] Speaker C: No, but the one thing I will say from that place that I was previously at is the relationships that I built and the kind of trauma bond that we have formed.
These are going to be lifelong friends that I've had, that I will have, and people that genuinely care about me and me for them, and that's something that I am grateful for and have no regrets for.
And so it's one of those things where I look back and I'm like, you know, shit, should I have, you know, should I have taken this contract? Should I have taken this gig? Should I have taken. You know what I mean? And in this time, kind of detoxing and journaling, and that's something that I, like, stayed away from, was, like, journaling, and I now journal every day and, like, writing my gratitudes and, like, you know, really getting back to the weeds of, like, just a simple, like, grateful. I fucking brushed my teeth today. Right? Simple things.
I believe that every single conversation, every single interaction is predestined. And the universe has a greater path for that. Right. Whether it's universe, God, whatever your higher power belief is, it's predestined.
That's my true internal belief.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: And two things you just said really got to me as well. Like, one, we have to learn to separate our identity or our worth from our work. And this is something I learned in 2018 when I was at. I was at out youth, and then I left, which I loved that job. Oh, my God. I loved working there. And we're still. I left for. I got poached. Like, they didn't leave for any, like, bad reason, but so much of my life was rolled into my activism work and also my full time job. And so when I left, went to a tech company and just kind of, like, started over, it was a reality check for me in a way I hadn't expected of. Like, I was so unsure of who I was because I wasn't, you know, the direct, the director, the development person at out youth, or I wasn't an activist, or I wasn't, you know, it. It is that thing. So I want to also remind people like you, I in 2020, which I've talked about before on the show, like, I took that time in the pandemic to really reset and make. Who am I outside of my job, outside of my relationships? Like, if everyone I knew, God forbid, tomorrow disappeared, who am I?
[00:34:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:34:42] Speaker B: And not in conjunction with a person. Like, I'm not so and so sister. I'm not this person's aunt. I'm not Alex's friend. Who are you to your core? Who are your beliefs? Who are your values? And I've also realized that so many people are afraid to be alone and. Or sit alone and ask themselves the questions and. Or sit in silence.
[00:35:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:35:04] Speaker B: I've been shocked to hear how many people are like, oh, I don't know how to just, like, relax or sit or be alone or be silent. I'm like, I live for the days I get to come home and just, like, not have to talk to anybody. Like, just to sit in the quiet and, like, decompress and, like. Like, you're saying journal or meditate or whatever. Like, drive in silence. Like, I'm like, I.
There are so many people who are afraid to be with themselves, and I need a lot of us to look at that because I did that work, and it is hard and it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but you'll be a better person because of it. Something do you want you. Once you know who you are, no one can tell you anything about yourself.
[00:35:44] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:35:45] Speaker B: And I think there's a different. That's a different level of self confidence and self worth that a lot of people don't even realize is, like, untapped in their life.
[00:35:54] Speaker C: I agree. And I think it's something that's, like, when you strip yourself down to the core, who are you? Like, what is your one sentence? And you mentioned, you know, separating yourself out from the career I used to.
My career, my title when I was in the medical industry. You know, being a c suite employee at 26, 27 years old, and being on covers of magazines. Right? Like, you know, you see my background. I'm in one, two, three covers of magazines.
I was like, my shit doesn't stink. You know, like, this is my identity. And it was great until it wasn't. And I was like, you know, my father suffered a heart attack because it works for us.
And so it's one of those things where. Yes, going back to an earlier conversation of, you see this on Instagram, you see me in a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes at the W hotel in an Armani suit pique.
No idea.
But you also don't see, like, earlier that day, Mister big and I are fighting.
You don't see earlier that day, like, I'm stressing about my dad.
Earlier that day, I'm running around. You know what I mean? You just see the nice angled photo with the good lighting.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: A filter, maybe slap it up there.
[00:37:36] Speaker C: There wasn't a filter on that one.
[00:37:38] Speaker B: I know, but never. I'm not.
I meant no disrespect, but it's that thing, too, like, chasing the carrot.
[00:37:46] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: And, like, I have influencer friends who I know are struggling so much. Like, they had to look a certain way to sound a certain way. They didn't get enough like, when I tell you, I could not tell you the last time I looked at my story because I just, like, don't care. But having friends who, like, this is a legit career, so I understand why. But the amount of stress it causes them.
[00:38:09] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:38:10] Speaker B: Like, I can't post this. I have to do this. Like, I have to. I'm like, when did. When did we lose the joy of just posting? And that's what I've been trying to lean into this year. Like, I just want the joy of posting again. I'm like, just sharing a little thing. I look good today. Here's a little never miss a Monday, baby. Like, but, yeah, that chasing the carrot that I have to stay relevant. I'm like, but for who? Like, and I tell this to a friend of mine who does Instagram. We have another person we know who is chronically online. Like, I think if Instagram disappeared tomorrow, this person would die. Like, would not know what to do with themselves. Like, their whole identity, their whole personality. If it's not posted, it didn't happen. Like, it is, like, the curated fake ass life. And I'm like, I live such a beautiful, full life offline. This is why you don't see it online. Like, I don't even think to post some of the stuff I go through because I'm like, this is just life. Like, I just. I want to be present. I want to be there. Yeah. And, like, you know, as a person who is potentially considering raising children eventually, which we'll circle back to in another podcast episode I'm sure of. Like, whenever I'm home in Connecticut and get to just be with my nephew and, like, I'll post a picture here and there, but I'm like, I'm cannot post because I'm in the moment. He's two. Like, I have to, like, soak up every sweet little moment with that human before he becomes a degenerate. Like, his brothers, I love them. They're just wild children. But I'm just like, I don't want to miss a moment. And that's why I try to live life was like, I want to remember these moments. And, like, that quote from one tree hill no one shame me of, like, it's essentially the girls who. It's the girls who don't keep a diary that you need to worry about. Like, we are just living life. Like, if I forget little minuscule things, I'm like, that's okay. Like, I got to experience it. And I just want people to just experience things more. Like, you don't have to live online. You can just live in the moment.
[00:40:04] Speaker C: Yeah, it's.
It's such a thing where it's like, I post the things and the people I'm proud of, and then I'm like, all right, that's, like, update here. It is. Because I know it's the opposite, right? I know there's people that do not post maybe some things or some people that they're with because they're trying to hide a Persona.
So it goes both ways.
[00:40:43] Speaker B: Or, like, the I. No shade at all if you're one of these people. But, like, the social media couples. I'm like, do y'all never fight? Like, is life just always sunshine and rainbows? Like, he doesn't annoy you. She doesn't get on your last nerve? Like, everything is just, like, great all the time.
I'm like, okay.
[00:41:03] Speaker C: It's like. It's, like, the both extremes, the ones that, like, I don't know. It's a whole. That's a whole different.
[00:41:10] Speaker B: Like, it was a whole nother episode. Cause I'm like, you're telling me there's nothing about him annoys you? I've been around men. Nothing about him annoys you.
But I'm. Listen.
To each their own.
[00:41:23] Speaker C: To each.
To each their own.
[00:41:27] Speaker B: Okay. We can't leave the episode without talking about our witchy lives.
[00:41:31] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:41:32] Speaker B: I have not had a tarot reading in so long.
[00:41:35] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:41:35] Speaker B: You're gonna. You're gonna do oracle reading for me today. We're gonna do an off. Off camera. The people off camera, my business.
I need to get connected to your psychic because I feel there's some things shifting in my life. I feel.
So this year, my motto, because I'm chaotic, my motto was I'm down to clown. Like. I was saying yes to everything that I thought. I typically like, you know what? Maybe no, but I'm like, you know what? Yeah, down the clown. Like, I'm taking a pottery class tonight because I haven't taken pottery before. Down the clowns. Like, let's go out in Fort Lauderdale. I'm like, I gotta be in bed by ten. But I'm down to clown like, yeah, but I just feel like. And I'm telling you this off mic before we record it. Like, I am to a place where I want to have love enter into my life, which is, why am I trying to make some shifts, get back to the northeast. Just because your girl does better there romantically than she does here in Austin, which is another podcast episode. We could probably have you back for part four.
[00:42:37] Speaker C: All the life moments. I'm here. I'm here.
[00:42:39] Speaker B: Fucking ridiculous.
So, yeah, we had to talk about any. Any witchy things. We just got out of fucking retrograde that I feel like lasted six years.
August retrograde was perfect.
[00:42:52] Speaker C: Yeah, that it.
[00:42:53] Speaker B: Mercury said, fuck you. Fuck your mother, like this.
[00:42:58] Speaker C: And that's what in part, like, really solidified. Like, oh, I really need to, like, cocoon up. I really need to just, like, stay away from everyone. That retrograde really affected me, and I know everyone around me. So. Yes.
[00:43:17] Speaker B: Also, if you're a new person getting into astrology, I will. I will link some options for you to read. Like, to get connected to. Because I have links.
[00:43:25] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:25] Speaker B: So if you're not following the phase of the moon, you're really, like, slacking.
[00:43:28] Speaker C: But, I mean. And my girl, who I'm connecting Brie with cinnamon and citrine. Oh. Shall connect her to put her in the description. I don't know.
[00:43:44] Speaker B: Also sidebar I'm gonna be doing.
I have an episode coming up with a tarot reader, which I've had tarot readers on before, but this is, like, a new one I haven't met yet. So we'll also have that on because I. It's so funny. Like, growing up very religious, but also feeling very witchy, like, which we'll also talk about, I'm sure, in another episode of, like, I have premonition dreams. Like, I read Tarot. Like, I believe in manifesting all these different things. And I'm also. I believe in the higher power. Whatever.
[00:44:13] Speaker C: Yeah, it's real.
[00:44:15] Speaker B: Both things can be true.
[00:44:16] Speaker C: Both things can be true.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: So.
[00:44:18] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: But, yeah, I just want you to give the kids any witchy advice or things they need to be paying attention to as we go into. First of all, balls around the corner, bitches. It's September, my time to thrive.
[00:44:30] Speaker C: All things pumpkin.
[00:44:32] Speaker B: I'll be dedicated for a month in October. Can't tell me nothing. Don't even call me. I'm a new bitch. Like, what?
[00:44:39] Speaker C: I'm so jealous.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: Come on. I'll be there, like a month. So come on down.
[00:44:43] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm down.
[00:44:45] Speaker B: So please come on in.
[00:44:46] Speaker C: I mean, actually, yeah, we'll talk offline. I'll talk offline.
What I will say is this is manifestation is so real. I literally manifested this consulting contract. And this is like a dream contract. And without going into the details of disclosing the company and all of that, it's, like, huge. You know, it's like one of those, like.
[00:45:22] Speaker B: It'S your biggest contract. Today, like, it's.
[00:45:25] Speaker C: It's a dream and it's financially gonna set me up, like, to where I am gonna be well off for Alex.
[00:45:39] Speaker B: And I gonna have a baby together.
[00:45:41] Speaker C: I mean, yeah, at this point, I mean, since nobody wants to have sex with me, I'll just. Brie will.
[00:45:46] Speaker B: Listen, our kid would be so cute. Chatty as fuck.
[00:45:51] Speaker C: Chatty. Listen, we need to see, we need to time it right because I can't have a scorpio, kidde. North Scorpio kid.
[00:45:59] Speaker B: Okay, that I cannot allow. But you're a fireside on a water sign. We have to have an earth sign. Like, I feel like that's a level.
[00:46:05] Speaker C: Yeah, we need a, like, planet, but, yeah, logistics.
[00:46:10] Speaker B: Selfishly, I would love a Virgo, but, you know, I'll settle for towards, you.
[00:46:13] Speaker C: Know, how, you know, my things with virgos.
[00:46:16] Speaker B: But I love a Virgo. They're my sister sign. I love a Virgo.
[00:46:20] Speaker C: I love Virgos. Mister Biggest. Mister Biggs. A Virgo.
[00:46:24] Speaker B: I'm aware. My ex, who I love, love, love my ex. They are married. They're a Virgo. Married to a Virgo. Like, I just love them. Love their partner. I'm like, I love a Virgo.
[00:46:35] Speaker C: My best friend, Gabby, she's a Virgo.
[00:46:37] Speaker B: My best friend, John. A Virgo.
[00:46:39] Speaker C: Yeah, so it's. Yeah, Virgo's all around.
[00:46:41] Speaker B: So, baby, we have to have twins, though. I'm only doing this once. I told you, I've gotten hot. I can't risk. I've come too far. I'm having one pregnancy, and we better.
[00:46:52] Speaker C: One and done. Just one and done. Rip it off. Listen, but no manifestation is real. That's the biggest thing that I'll say is, like, I could not agree more. And this is a non paid plug, but. City alchemists on e six, have you been? No, you need to go.
[00:47:14] Speaker B: City alchemist.
[00:47:16] Speaker C: It is the best store in the world on East 6th street.
I'm telling you, first off, the owners are queer.
[00:47:27] Speaker B: Okay? That's what I'm gonna say.
[00:47:29] Speaker C: Witchy. They have everything in the world. West 6th, east six, east six.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: Okay, we'll make a date and we'll go.
[00:47:38] Speaker C: Like, actually, like, I was just. I was just there. I was just there Saturday.
So shout out Eric and Alexis. I love them.
[00:47:49] Speaker B: Okay, and I want to say you can start off slow. Like, I'm not pushing anything.
[00:47:56] Speaker C: I'm just saying you don't have to, like, go in, like, ten deep.
[00:47:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I have crystals with crystals because they're really to do. I got someone gifted me a tarot deck. And the way I got into reading tarot is I went through a really bad breakup, and my roommate at the time would read my cards every day. She's like, well, what can brie learn today? It was like a pulling of a card. And then, like, again, like, me being very witchy growing up my whole life, like, seeing spirits, talking to spirits, having very big, like, premonition style dreams. Like, I was like, there's something here. So you can sort of slow. Like, everyone has a little bit of witch in them, as they say in practical magic.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: Also, no, no black magic. It comes back to you.
[00:48:34] Speaker C: No, it comes back.
[00:48:35] Speaker B: That shit. No spells, no evil spells, no less potent.
[00:48:38] Speaker C: Like, no, that stuff comes back tenfold. That stuff comes back.
[00:48:42] Speaker B: Manifest only.
[00:48:43] Speaker C: Manifest only. Manifest only.
[00:48:45] Speaker B: Don't write a check you can't cash.
[00:48:46] Speaker C: Girly, I tell you. But all that to say is, karma is real. Manifesting is real.
And karma, because I'm feeling in a holly jolly mood.
Link. Link my instagram on here, and if any of your listeners message me, oracle, I will give them a free oracle reading. Wow.
[00:49:11] Speaker B: Okay. You heard it here first, folks.
[00:49:15] Speaker C: I will give it. I normally I don't even charge, but I'll just do it for them. I don't charge because that's bad karma.
[00:49:22] Speaker B: So, yeah, yeah, I'm fascinated. I need to pull some cards today. I feel it. I feel inspired.
[00:49:28] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:49:29] Speaker B: Okay, well, this is always a joy. Keep us posted. We'll probably be back for part four.
[00:49:35] Speaker C: I know. So I'm gonna leave it with one quote that I got.
[00:49:40] Speaker B: Oh, excuse me. I didn't even ask you the question yet. See, you've been here too often that.
[00:49:43] Speaker C: You know.
[00:49:46] Speaker B: As, you know, blooper.
[00:49:47] Speaker C: Blooper.
[00:49:48] Speaker B: No, no, I'm leaving it in. As you know, at the end of every episode, I asked my guest a final question. And the question is, what is the best advice you were ever given to, or what is a piece of advice you'd give to your younger self?
[00:50:00] Speaker C: Okay. So during the beginning of my digital detox, when I was on, like, the thick of things and, like, really identifying that I was going through it, I just go back into yoga, and this was, like, my second or third class. So we were in our savasana pose at the end of class. The instructor had given intention for us to take with us at the end of class.
And so I'm going to leave this intention for all of those who are listening and the intention for the episode. So wherever you are in life, maybe this next chapter is the best chapter that is yet to come.
[00:50:44] Speaker B: That's it for this week's episode of the Tea with Brie. Be sure to follow the podcast on Instagram hewithbreed. Send me an
[email protected] or visit the website theteawithbreepodcast.com dot. You can find me your host, Brianna jenkins on Instagram, rhianna Jenkins don't forget to rate, review, and follow on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. A special thanks to Mama Duke for arthrit music and I will catch you next time. Bye.
